i feel totally uncool being online at this hour. for one, it says something about my lack of social repertoire and enthusiasm about the coming year. hehehe truth is, 2011 -- more than being the new year (for now) is just a typical 'next year'. for me it's just a continuation, nothing sort of a new beginning where i shed off my old skin and regenerate a new one. i'd like to think that we only get to start once and end once. after all, we aren't cats, and we're only given a single life cycle to live. i'm aware i'm being obnoxious here, idek why but as i get older, the anticipation fades. argh.

2011. i'd like to welcome you with good vibes, believe me but i'm having a bitch of a headache right now i'm just gonna try to finish this entry before it ticks 00:00.

on second thought. i'm just gonna watch the fireworks.

unang hakbang

naniniwala ako na mas maigi maglabas ng sama ng loob sa isang taong hindi marunong makinig. lalo na kung ang gusto mo lang naman ay makapagbuhos ng hinanakit sa buhay. aanhin mo ang simpatya at payo ng iba? magulo pa ang isip mo. gusto mo lang muna sumabog nang hindi inaalala kung OA ka na ba or wala ka na sa tamang pagiisip. gusto mo lang muna umiyak nang walang nagpapatahan. either maghanap ka ng taong walang kwenta pero may oras sayo o ibuhos mo sa pader kaso walang verbal fulfillment yon kaya bale wala lang baka lalo ka lang maasar.

pwede ring mag-blog.

hmm. dapat talaga nagsusulat na ko ngayon e. isang linggo akong walang ginawa. tsk.

people in love

nutella snack and drink? this has to reach the Philippines. NOW. >8D

" Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. "
- Louis de Bernières
see. i knew it.

one night a friend of mine called and said he wanted to meet up. he was crying and i found out it's about his girlfriend wanting to cool off with him because of her bigger other priorities: school and church. i sneaked out of the house just to console him. when we met he has already calmed, but he looked down.

anyhow after a few hours... they've made up already LOL. no breakup whatsoever. so, congrats and good luck! try to make it work? hmm.

WHAT I WOULD SAY: i'd let go of the girl. it's one thing to be supportive of something you know is best for her. which is, to finish her studies FIRST. she wouldn't come up with the cool off thing if she didn't think you're becoming a distraction. she'll owe it to you one day, for allowing her to become the best she can be without you. then you can go back together and not let go, if your feelings remain intact that is. it's not a matter of: if we really love each other we'll make things work. come on, how old are you? 18? you haven't seen enough of the world to decide to focus on just one thing. let her grow? it's good enough that she knows her priorities right.

anyway. i'm just sayin. i wouldn't count on my own words either haha.

Finished Chuck season 3 finally!

wow. Chuck just gets better and better! i noticed that he kinda lost weight on this season but it's perfectly fine. i love chuck bartowski ♥

Season 4 is currently airing, and even though i badly wanna watch it, i'd rather have it finished first. then i'll just get a copy. i'm better at marathons.

Printed scotch tapes @ National Bookstore

This is holy. >8D Printed adhesive tapes at National Bookstore, SM Fairview. They're 30 pesos each. I bought myself one, and it took me almost 30 minutes just to convince myself that I only need ONE and ONE ONLY.


Merry Christmas!

Spent the 25th at my lola's! it was a fun and tiring day! our family gets bigger and bigger every year that we couldn't even fit in the place anymore. What a blessing >:D Time has gone by so fast, we used to be the small kids running around and lining up for mint 20 peso bills from my uncles. Now, the only reason we run around is to chase our hyperactive nieces and nephews, but we still fall in line for the bills hehehe.

Some pics,

Happy Holidays!

PS: This serves as my first official entry in this new blog I created. HEHEHE I'll mark this, though my real blogging anniversary date is June 4, 2004. I already started blogging even before that (at blurty.com) but my account has already been deleted, anyway... either June 4 or May 30.

fine, i'll take June 4, for the lack of evidence. BUT IT FEELS WEIRD, celebrating on the wrong date. arg. let's just say June 4 is my Blogger anniversary, but i really started May something. sucks when info like this gets pulled out of the web. i should've known i would need it, then again i'm 6 years late. hahaha

http://livejunk.blogspot.com was my former and 4th blogger address, and it contains all of the entries from all of the previous blogs i had at blogger (thanks to the import option). So that pretty much accounts for (almost) everything i've been through since 2004. >:)

warning: emo/jealous/insecure girl ahead

oyan kasi,  bs cyber-stalking mode! i actually befriended her just to confirm if there's something going on. kasi nahihinuha ko na meron e. elamonaman ako,

the ever suspicious, super selosa, overanalyzing cyber-stalker 
in the guise of 
a super friendly, ever supportive, martyr-martyran friend! 

ang hirap ng madaming alam. e kaso pano ba yan, tama nanaman ako! meron nga. pero wala pa naman don, pero parating na. si girl ang may hawak. ok. iyak na ko. >:'''(((

the more i get to know you, the more i feel less special. kaya nga kinagat ko na lang yung kaisa-isang chance na magkaroon ng stand sa buhay mo. i became your bestfriend. inisip ko na lang, ok at least ako may title! kayo wala! or wala pa. unless of course, sila rin!!! yknow... kahit na feeling ko hindi naman talaga tayo ganon, pero sabi mo eh. at least it gave me the assurance that i have a place in your buhay. kaya sige na nga, pwede na rin. if it's the only thing that would secure me as an important person in your life. at least even though i'm just one of the tons you've held hands with, kissed on the cheek, introduced to your family, and said i love you to, i managed to get (slightly) out of the bracket of being just someone you flirted casually with. at least diba. puro na lang at least. sabi nga dun sa nabasa ko, the moment you settle for something less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for. wala, sabi lang.

but when it all comes down to it, the only thing that sets me apart from them is being your bestfriend. besides that, i'm no different from all of them. aaaaaaaaaaaaallllll of them. then naisip ko, if you hadn't proclaimed me that way, it must've been easier for me to forget you. i would've been just a regular friend, kahelera ni ano, ni ano, chka ni ano, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera!! leche! but i still chose this. hallerrrr.

now i'm scrapping the no-tropa-tropa-talo-talo rule. bwisit yan e, cos apparently kinain ko lang din. so much for trying to protect superfriendships! from now on, everything is case-to-case. ibig sabihin, depende! o kay linaw naman nyan.

ay shet bitter-bitteran!

Joseph Marco

caught him at Sabel and thought he'd make a better leading man than AJ Perez. acting-wise though, hilaw pa sila lahat! pero geeez, supercrush!!! >:D he registers to me as parang kim bum, and may pagka felix roco din in some angles. in any case, he's hot. ♥ ♥ and the smile man. the smile! wait, i'll get a pic.

good luck to him! better roles next time, but not bad for his first break. >;) ABS-CBN definitely groomed you better.

howkaaay, fangirl mode. >8D

tell me.

tell me why it's such a wrong  idea to stalk your crushes on Christmas. kasi it ruins the festive air mehn!!! >X( shempre pagselosin mo ba naman sarili mo? sadya pa? henako. antagaltagaltagal na nito. hindi masanaysanaysanay! and see? i know when there's something going on! first time pa lang kitang nakita, alam kong kaagaw na kitaaa! and i was right! daaamn right!

dahil dyan, LET'S BE FRIENDS. >:) bwahahaha

terai: eh, mas maganda ka naman dyan noh
me: yun nga e. tsk.
terai: so ano problema mo?
me: panget mga type nya



i don't know who or what to blame this on but i'm not in the mood to write! it's almost Christmas, but i can't feel it. >:| it seems just like a regular holiday you knooow, food, gifts, stuff. hehe

maybe i'll go watch the remaining of chuck season3.  >:)

oh wait. something epic happened, i was able to bike out of the sub! and i thought the guards won't let me out. e bat dati?! >8D yehey for conquering my fear of getting hit by cars! LOL i didn't go far, i just came to get a haircut and cellophane (FAIL) at the new salon across petron dahlia. kainis, waste of money! hair treatments are always always a waste of money. remind me to do nothing else but get a haircut whenever i enter a salon. >:\

so what exactly is a cellophane? the dude-gal just colored my hair with washable henna wax and wrapped it in cling wrap! it's supposed to make my hair shinier and look less damaged, but the luster for the most part only came from excessive blow drying and ironing. i bet it's all gonna wash out when i take a bath tomorrow. so much for 500. i could've just colored my hair at home. akjvhbadatdBANHJAN

btw. i've finally verified my paypal account using the eon card. so many deductions wtf! a dollar per withdrawal, sheeezzzz. @_@ i'll let it sit there till it accumulates enough for the withdrawal fee to be lifted. till then, i'll have to work harder. >:\

but first. let me enjoy my vacation by watching chuck! >8D

ang loser e no? walang magawa ngayong pasko! the malls look uninviting, and i'm always so broke. HINDI KO ALAM KUNG SAN NAPUPUNTA PERA KO SHET. internet, tithes, what else ballpens?! wala na. ubos na pala don lolz. naghanap pa e!

sige, hmm, ay ayoko magplano dito. may sumpa tong blog na to e.

may alam ba kayong mas madaling trabaho???? it's good being complimented, but it's better compensated.

the learning experience was unbelievable though. the power of research writing is truly amazing. i wish my research hours are also being paid for!

may namimiss akong tao nakakainis naman!

not enough gratitude

i was wondering on what could have been if none of it happened. i would probably have a new best friend. then i would have someone to talk to right now. then i wouldn't have to rely on this blog for a decent outlet. but it did. i consider it a loss, but that's life. you lose some, you gain some. but sometimes you just lose some, and nothing follows.

i'm probably writing this for the total lack of inspiration on hair loss (current writing assignment), and also for the total lack of people i can talk to... who are sensible enough to consider my post-teenage rants as, uhm, a natural process. hahaha

i may have told this a lot times, and every time i do, i feel guilty, but for the nth time... i miss the people in LB. and you know why i feel guilty about mentioning this.

this stage in my life is so different. i want to think it's part of the whole welcome-to-the-20's process. i'm supposed to be more mature. but i find myself doubting more, trusting less, and working more autonomously. i'm afraid i'm turning into an independent wreck.

PS: oh i know why i'm suddenly all emo and feeling friendless. this track is to be blamed: Time and Space by The Accidental. it reminds of me chuck, sitting pathetically with a bowl of cheese balls, making a waste of his life because of a wrong decision.

btw, chuck made me cry a lot earlier. AGAIN. season 3 is so emotional, i'm running out of tissue. or maybe i'm the emotional one. but still, i've never cried this much in the previous seasons. >:'(


i've maxed out this pc already. no enough space to store mp3s!!! so now, i need these

1. 1 terabyte external hard drive. i found one at ebay for 4,000 (seagate). but that's gonna have to wait. HAHAHA i'll have you. soon. i said, TERABYTE. TERABYTE. nakakakilig shetttt

2. 8 gigs microSD card. i've used up the 4gigs, and it sucks that i have to delete a few albums just to make way for a new one, namely... CHUCK SEASON 3 UNOFFICIAL MUSIC COLLECTION BWAHAHAHAAAAA!!! so the 8 will be for my phone and the 4 will be for school. i just bought a microSD reader for it, and i'm excited to cover it with my pink snoopy scotch tape. it will be my soon-to-be official usb. until it gets lost, again. huhuhu

yeah. it's not easy to be in this business, you always need space.

HEYHEYHEY, so diba nga i was so pissed off that my sister won't take a butt cheek off in an effort to lose weight. we even had a quarrel last night because of it. but now that we're ok and she wants to make it up to me, i had one (secret) condition: SUN!!! BWAHAHAHA so while she was sleeping, i stole her phone, killed her globe, gave her a sun, and told all her friends about it. poor terai doesn't have a clue. i even logged in on her facebook and walled about her number change.

BWAHAHAHA i'm such an imposing sister. didn't even give her a choice. hohoho. PERO OKAY LANG YAN, I'M SURE SHE'LL FORGIVE ME. diba terai? >:)

PS: i just called her, and she's so.... MAD. @_@;

PS2: she's not mad anymore! BWAHAHAAAAA


tomorrow (plus the next 29 days) will be yet another research writing period for me. >8) 

this day: spent the whole day at church, christmas party kasi ng homebuilder's ministry (parang couples for christ.  for my parents ha). oyon. daming pagkain yesss. kaya naman,

earlier this night, i bought maggie. maggie. the one eunice and mc recommended pampapayat. i thought it was yet another slimming tae (pun intended). pero capsule pala shet natakot naman akow. who knows. who knows. let's see after ten days. 

bakit ganon. ako ang taong dalawa ang trabaho pero walang panregalo. >:\

PS: super thanks to jec dahil sa kanyang napakaasayang christmas gift! >8D 2006 FIFA WORLD CUP LANYARD, GERMANY BLACK!!!! >8D >8D >8D >8D dahil dyan, i can totally let go of this grudge. solomotssss!!! 

it's pretty rare having people respond to my wishlists. HERE. dalawa palang silang ganon. >:D >:D >:D >:D

PS2: pagod na ko. pagod na ko sa kakasaway sa kapatid ko sa kanyang walang humpay na pagkain. ayoko na. nakakbwiset na. bahala na sya! hindi ba nya naisip na ayaw ko syang magkasakit? hindi na nga covered ng healthcard yung asthma nya tas kain pa ng kain! nakakaubos ng pera magkasakit! grrrrr binilhan ko pa naman sya ng sun sim. konek?

PS3: didn't meet with my bestfriend today. ibbgay ko na sana yung gift ko, at ibabalik na sana nya yung chuck ko. kaso nga, christmas party. dahilan ko lang yata yon. tinatamad tlga ko e. for sure yun din. ewan ko ba, wala ng anticipation. ayoko lang tlga siguro ng mga plano. lalo na pag ako yung naginitiate kasi, tatamarin tlga ako. ok pa yung biglang hatak e. parang dati. pero ngayon, walang ng ganon. kung gusto mgkita, kelangan pinaplano. hassle pare. wish you were here. 


i'm done with the project, but gmail is such a bitch it won't let me attach. now i'm tryna sort this out before i totally waste my deadline. i sent my employer a copy-pasted version, but of course i still have to work on the attachment. this can't go for long. asd;kNLFMDS ' it says, shockwave flash is being unresponsive. unresponsive my ass.

mr employer is asking if i want more assignments, i do. but NOW i'll extend the contract period. i just deprived myself 10 days of decent sleep because of my silly 20-articles-in-10-days challenge. considering that it was our finals week when i accepted it, i just realized that it's suicide. asdlvj fsn;mlan;khw'

let's see, so in the past 10 days. i've written at least 7,000 words divided into 20 articles. that's so much torture. but i guess, i just have to manage my time and try to write during the daylight so it doesn't feel like i'm doing the graveyard shift. THE PROBLEM IS, i like to sleep when the sun is up, and work when it's down. but you know, SCHOOL.

adfchjbn;m. now that vacation has started (kind of, just one more exam tomorrow), maybe i can write more?

challenge accepted.

here's my next project.
40 articles, 30 days. sounds better. >:)

at least i have job.

Wishlist: Pilot G-Tec-C4 Set, Paulo Coelho: The Complete Collection

Muticolored Pilot G-Tech Set! THE AWESOMENESSSSS. saw this at Tumblr and got excited to have my own, though i could only imagine the price. individually this costs around 70/pen x 10 (minus the "wholesale" discount) would probably run from 600-700. Earlier i asked NBS about this and they said it's not available. they only have the 3 basic colors for it. no other colors. >8((( ARGGGGHHH then again, looking at my ever growing virgin pen sets, this would be yet another impulsive decision. hmm

also earlier at NBS, i saw this paperback collection of Paulo Coelho books!!!! lo and behold, it only costs 2,399! now that's cheap!!! considering that divided by 12, each book would roughly amount to just 200. JUST 200. a paulo coelho book for 200 is crazy. i wanted to buy it, though i already have 2 of them and have read 6. pero i forgot everything so. I SO FUCKIN WANNA BUY THIS. @_@

Paulo Coelho: The Complete Collection includes
The Pilgrimage
The Alchemist
The Valkyries
By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept
The Fifth Mountain
Veronika Decides Die
The Devil and Miss Prym
Eleven Minutes
The Zahir
Witch of Portobello
The Winner Stands Alone

BTW: this is probably just a Novels set since Warrior of Life (which is a manual) and Like the Flowing River (a collection of thoughts and reflections) aren't included. BUT STILL ♥


before i forget

i just had one of the scariest dreams. @_@; i slept at around 1 or 2-ish this morning... i dreamt that i was in my room, with some people i haven't seen in a long time. people i was never really close to... nicollete and bebs (hs classmates), and christian (college major crush #2 hehe). we were having fun. i guess there were cards involved ewan. then we were laughing so hard that nicollete has to grab our hands for support. she was holding my hand on her left, and bebs' on her right. laughing, she turned to me and said "may manggugulat sayo."

ay pota. hinigpitan ko kapit ko sa kanya. sa sobrang kaba ko naging nightmare na sya. nakapikit na lang ako, anticipating the gulat factor. habang lalong humihigpit, lalo akong kinahabahan. then that's when i tried to wake up kasi hindi na kinaya ng nerves ko. mega stress level. the fear of the unknown talaga o.

minsan natatakot na rin akong matulog pag gabi kasi ayoko ng nightmares. kaya mas feel ko matulog pag maliwanag pa. at least pag nagkanightmare ka, gigising ka tapos maliwanag. then the nightmare ends. kesa naman nagising ka tas madilim. kalurkey. utang na loob. magisa lang ako sa kwarto. at queen ang kama ko. ampota. i should stop scaring myself. e kasi naman, PRAAAY.

i looooove kurt hugo schneider! and even though i have this drumming suspicion that he's gay... along with his bestfriend sam tsui.... i fucking don't care. their talent is what counts. >:D

oryt. 3 and 3/4 articles to go. >8\

what to do when you're sick and beating a deadline

here are a couple of things i need to accomplish before the sun rises.

1. at least 2 articles
- was supposed to do this yesterday but my alarm clock failed me again. you see, i slept for 12 hours. >8D but it's fine, it's the best gift i could probably give myself these days. last friday night i toiled over our digicir project (which paid off) and did 4 articles. @_@; the next day i got sick. here's when you start to regret taking jobs that aren't well compensating, all for the sake of earning paying the internet bills and buying meds for my stupid allergies.

2. study for our algorithm final exams.
- asdackdv vaakbnhsd

3. my cousin's homework
- which was passed onto me because they don't have the necessary technology for it (ie. internet and printer)

now. it's 11, and we just bought a healthy supply of my favorite coffee. >:)

glasses on.
good morning everyone! >:D >:D >:D

lo and behold

my first ever attempt to create a simple LED circuit! the wires are a mess, but that can be forgiven. at least it followed the schematics right! >:D

now. off to work. i have 4 articles due today. well, that's my personal deadline. sleep has been scarce these days. gotta make the most of my waking hours.

work mode. @_@

screw my math

i was reading my previous post and thought, where did i get these math? it didn't make sense to me. specially 4-6. i was thinking, where did i get 4? 6 came from 2 articles times 3 hours. thing is, my computation was wrong hahahaha!

where the hell did that 4 came from. OTL

ok. back to work.


i looked at my time table and thought how i'm going to be sleepless for the next 10 days, that's until the 17th. my first writing assignment was every bit hard. i didn't think it would be this, uhhh, hard. argh. 

let's see if i can do this. 

everyday, i get home more or less around 4 or 5. then i bike til 6. then everything school/junk related gets my 6pm onwards. NOW. being the slow writer that i am, a 500 word article would probably take me 3 hours. excluding research. normally i get sleepy at 12. 4-6=2. that means i only have 2 hours to study for whatever school is asking me to. SO. in 10 days, i have to write at least 2 articles a day to produce 20 unique writeups. 2 aricles = 6 hours. asdsadgasivbagsyfldh

i have to extend past 12mn.

i'm killing myself. 

PS: i got chased by a dog. again. i thought that orange firefox dog was cute, until it came running for me, barking in an unspecified language. i was screaming when i pedaled home. >:|

let's do this!

no, i'm not doin anything breadboard related today. i just busted out the entire pack of LEDs i bought yesterday, so i had to buy new pieces. grrr i knew it, it was so foolish of me to try them out at 9V. >:| i lost 30 pesos because sheer stupidity.

for now, i'm waiting for skype to finish installing on my PC. my to-be employer required me to do so, to facilitate easier communication. i dunno, i'm new to skype and i'm fucking excited to start working on this project! so what is it? i'm only starting my odesk career now, when i signed in a year ago. just recently, i had the honor of having an employer initiated job offer. which was crazy so i accepted it right away. now i'm preparing for my first writing assignment! the job is two write 20 300-500 word articles on various topics.

an article a day keeps the boredom away! no, make that two.

PS: i'm currently in love with this video: http://youtu.be/CHv8pb-4fmg  that's Kurt Schneider's cover of "Listen to your heart". if there weren't so much talking in it i'd dl this as mp3. couldn't find a better cover! ♥

breadboard noob

so i bought some materials we would need for a breadboard circuit project. ONLY i have no idea how to use them. apparently, i managed to damage 12 out of the 20 LED lights i bought, dunno why. i tested them, and they all sparked. i thought that's how they're supposed to light up, until it dimmed and smelled funny then i realized i just lost em. i used a 9V DC battery. should i use a transistor? HOW. the only thing i enjoyed doing was stripping the wires. otherwise, it was all crap.

btw. i'm crossing my fingers on this job. please? i'm gonna be broke this christmas if i don't get this.

books online!

the book i ordered on ebay finally arrived! it's a second hand copy of All American Girl by Meg Cabot. it's a favorite one of mine, and is the first ever book i read in a single sitting. been wanting to have my own copy hehe.
i'm totally getting the hang of buying books online, they're cheaper, for one! course, it doesn't matter if they're second hand, or even third as long as it's readable, and in good condition.

the thought of reading excites me a lot. if only i have a pretty couch in my room then i'd be more inspired! tamad e! the problem is, i forget everything i read! so i want to reread everythiiiing. as in, every single book in my shelf right now. also! whenever i wanted to read, the urge to doodle always kicks in. so note to self, if i plan on reading, bringing a book alone will do. no emergency ballpens, or paper. just a book. okay, maybe a ballpen cos you'll never know when you need to write! like when an emergency situation comes around that requires writing. like, uhm, weeeell. a ballpen is a staple item in my bag.

so here's yet another attempt to create a "progressive" reading list. course, knowing me (and this blog's to-do curse). i'll just stare at them.

on second thought, i'll just tell you when i've read one. haha

time for chuck! >:D

Captain Awesome ♥

hi! i just finished downloading the last 2 episodes of Chuck (thank you, thank you, torrent) and also changed my layout into a girly pastelish sort. i like the colors! >:D

anyway. Chuck. season two was awesome! so awesome, i couldn't think of any series that could compete with it. i mean, how many american series have i watched anyway? IT'S THE BEST SERIES EVER CREATED! i laughed, cried and got my feelings involved too much. it was simply awesome!
season 4 is still on the run and by the looks of it, i think i can finish season 3 before the 4th ends on TV . SOOO, there's a lot of waiting happening in the future. sad. >:\

haay boring week. nothing like Chuck and Harry Potter to cheer me up.

PS: i'm not going anywhere with my diet. i'm still fat. >:S

15 Fictional Characters

tagged on FB and is answering here because. 

The Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen fictional characters (television, films, plays, books, video games) who've influenced you and that will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Tag at least fifteen friends, including me, because I'm interested in seeing what characters my friends choose.

1. Dennis - Ghost Fighter
2. Harry Potter
3. L - Death Note
4. Chuck Bartowski - Chuck
5. Lucas - One Tree Hill
6. Shikamaru - Naruto
7. Ulquiorra - Bleach
8. Edward - Full Metal Alchemist
9. Luffy - One Piece
10. Shepherd - The Alchemist
11. Yang Guo - Down with Love
12. Sendoh - Slam Dunk
13. Travis Parker - The Choice
14. Andrew Martin - Bicentennial Man
15. Kate McGregor - Master of the Game

apprently it took me an hour. >:\

Synthesis of Aspirin (Acetylsalicylic Acid)

uhm, i found this document while cleaning my hard disk. this was a completion requirement for my Basic Organic Chemistry class some 2 years ago. i thought it sounded smart, but the actual experimentation was a wreck, so just bear with this short discussion of how we produced aspirin, artificially. oh yeah, this is for bragging purposes. HAHAHA

i couldn't believe i was able to write something like this.
was i?

Results and Discussion

       To form acetylsalicylic acid, a mixture of salicylic acid and acetic anhydride is needed. To hasten the reaction, we added 85% phosphoric acid (catalyst) and heated the mixture in a steam bath to increase the solubility of salicylic acid and increase the rate of reaction. Water was added to provide medium for further nucleophilic substitution. Heating the reaction mixture and addition of water ionizes acetic acid in water for the removal of the products to attain equilibrium. Heating favored the forward reaction. The mixture was cooled to complete the recrystallization process. 

       Since the mixture is cold, suction filtration method was carried out to separate the filtrate from the residue which contains the crystallized products. Upon air drying the residue, we separated a small amount of the crude product for melting point determination and recrystallized the rest by dissolving it with diethyl ether then adding petroleum ether dropwise until cloudiness occurs. The mixture was then cooled in an ice bath to complete the recrystallization, then as usual, suction filtration was carried out to separate the recrystallized aspirin from the filtrate.

      We weighed out our recovered aspirin and got 11.9 g. Theoretically, there should only be a maximum of 2.61 g of aspirin recovered, but our data showed 455% yield. This could be accounted for so many errors made during the experiment; one could be incomplete drying, leading to a positive error. Another could be weighing errors, which in our case most probably led us to an enormous positive error. Also, there is a high chance that some impurities were not removed, and most likely it would be salicylic acid that would account for that.

      As for the melting point data, our crude sample got a range of 119-124˚C and our purified sample got a range of                  . Comparing it to the literature value of 134˚C, we can say that our purified sample is nearer the theoretical value, but since we got a range, it is most certain that our purified sample still contains contaminants.

      Since we weren’t able to conduct the characterization tests, here is a theoretical discussion of the differentiation tests:

      The FeCl3 test was positive for salicylic acid because it detected the presence of phenol in it. Ideally, for aspirin, it should be negative because there is no presence of a hydroxyl group attached to a benzene ring in its structure. KMnO4 test is used to detect the presence of 1˚ and 2˚ alcohols and phenols, in which case only salicylic acid garnered a positive result.

      The differentiation of commercially available aspirin from the recrystallized used 1mL of iodine and 2mL water. A brown-black liquid with white precipitate was observed on the commercialized aspirin whereas a red-orange liquid with white precipitate was observed on the other. The reaction of iodine with the commercialized aspirin only confirms the presence of a starch binder which is used in most tablet medicines in order to give its shape, as was characterized by the brown-black color change.

Summary and Conclusion

      Organic synthesis is the preparation of a desired organic compound from commercially available reagents. Its purpose is to produce a pure sample of the desired product in the most efficient and economical way possible.

      In this certain experiment we were able to produce aspirin via acid catalyzed nucleophilic acyl substitution.
      We have computed the theoretical yield of aspirin to be 2.61g only. Any deviation to this value could be accounted as errors and must be improved by further recommendations. The melting point of aspirin is 134˚C. Having a range as a melting point value indicates the presence of impurities. The most common impurity that would be incorporated in the final product would be salicylic acid, that is why there’s a need to differentiate the starting material from the end product, to know whether we’ve produced the desired product and not the starting material.

      This experiment is a good introduction to synthesizing. Through this we have learned the essence of organic synthesis and its importance in our daily lives.

maybe the writing is to brag for. i mean, on the bloody technical level, yes. the intimidating jargon. i don't even remember them. but if you actually read it, you'll see how bad it went. see?

btw. i'm contemplating on which bug annihilation process to employ for this laptop. ther're ants inside. my options are:

1) vacuum/blow dry the damn motherboard. but i need screwdrivers for this
2) spray some crazy bug repellant, just to annoy them and have them scurrying out of my buddy
3) bring it to a technician and let him do the cleaning but i think that's gonna cost more. :(

i could do all three, but hi funds! where are you?
the thought of an ant colony present in this laptop is troubling me. so far there are only red ants. no soldiers and drones yet, hopefully no queen. and no crumb carrying marchers. oh God, help me. i'm not financially fit to replace this thing yet. 


i have a cousin who died from his sleep. the last thing he did was a have a drink with his friends, with balut as pulutan. i didn't know it could kill, so i'm sayin this as a precaution. he's only 26.

rest in peace kuya caloy. God bless your soul.


change topic.

ah napapansin pala nila yon. naiinis kaya sila?? iniisip ba nila, sino ba tong panget na to?! haha alam ko. bahala sila mag speculate. hindi ko naisip na maraming makakapansin pero oh well. buhay buhay lang yan. naglalabasan na sila o, andame pala. lakas mo talaga. me ganon din kaya sakin? taena. bat kaya hindi? bat kaya wala? yung iba nga pag ganon, yun na yun e. pero sakin hindi e. lahat sila ganon ang tingin. napapangiti na lang ako. kaso nga hindi e. kaso nga ba? o sayang? ayoko na isipin.

muntik na nga pala ko mamatayan

ng kuko, buti na lang from bluish dead, naging recovering blue na sya. e kasi naman, mahina na pala yung brakes ng bisikleta ko, kaya nung umuwi ako, di ako makahinto. i ended up taking a u-turn pero mukang napalaki ang trinavel kong radius at gutter ang sumalubong sakin. tumilapon ako patagilild! buti na lang madamo. wala akong ibang sugat kundi yung masakit kong kuko sa paa na nakipaghalikan sa malamig na semento.

BTW. JM. HAHAHA close na talaga kami! pwede na yon! enonaman kung alam nya? at least di sya lumayo, in fact, lumapit pa nga. hahaha

how many times have i written something similar, and yet. >:|


you probably never noticed but i've done a lot of sacrifices for you. little ones, yeah, but they're still a lot. and it kinda hurts that i'm just one out of the many girls who have a place in your heart. whom you can miss anytime, flirt with anytime, and call in a jiffy. come to think of it, i was never anyone special am i? i'm just someone who happens to be online when you are. just someone whom you spent a couple of months joking around with. nothing special. no one special. what right do i have to demand anything from you? none. roight. i never expected anything in the first place, because i know i wouldn't be getting what i expected from you. you're someone who breaks all expectations, who's more concerned with making good impressions, and who leave girls in a detrimental state of speculation.

i'm such a fool, thinking that maybe there is something. something more. but of course that's just me and my teen-flick saturated imagination. the truth is, i'm just like each an every one of your girl friends. i just insisted on adding something special to it so i'd be a rank higher than them, but honestly, there isn't anything special with me and you, and with the way you are with me. it's all my imagination. all a fruit of an overflow of creative juices. love really clouds human rationality a lot.

so maybe it's time to give up. time to give up thinking about you. time to quit making sacrifices. time to quit making our ends meet. we aren't for each other. we never were, in the first place. it's just me, and my seemingly hyperactive neurons making things up. we're never getting there. i thought you're the one, but that's quite an injustice to the number system. why can't i just think you're a regular friend whom i have no obligations with? whom i can hate and make up with anytime. that's how you see me anyway.

oooohkay. this is because i stalk too much. so you know, those really unsolicited information gets the bigger impression.

this is so pathetic. i put it under a cut to track the IP's of those who actually read this.

PS: you know what's ticking me off? you use the exact same words to ALL of them. how does that set me apart from them??? i'm supposed to be different from them all. i'm your self-proclaimed @#$%^&*UI() for crying out loud and you treat me just like how you treat your fucking flings. i ain't one of them. i hate it.


PS2: of course we're still %$#@!$%^&*( friends.

just a dream

LSS with Christina Grimmie and Sam Tsui's version of Just a Dream by Nelly (search it up on youtube).

anyway. my time's up, i should be heading out of duty, but... duty calls in! i'm currently watching over mam Sano's ITC-14 class. they're taking a quiz, i'm facebooking, and later imma do some class evaluations. ALL OFF DUTY. but i don't mind really. i've never really done anything extremely taxing so no harm doing all these. it's not like they're additional tasks. besides, i'm bored.

i have a friend who claims she doesn't miss anyone. i mean, she doesn't have that feeling of missing someone. is that even possible? isn't the mere recollection/reminscing process an indication of missing someone/something? my guess is, she knows how to miss someone, but she's not very vocal about it. or maybe she has it deep inside but she's in denial. i wish i could tell this to her but i'm afraid we're not that close. anyhow, just my two cents. missing someone is a natural feeling. everybody misses somebody. i know cos i do. and of course it doesn't apply only to those who are romantically attached.

i found out something about Sun Cellular's Flexi 50 promo. when the promo has expired and you haven't used up the entire 50 pesos, the remaining balance will revert to being a regular load! NOW THAT'S COOL. i thought, when the time's up and i wasn't able to finish my 50 bucks in 5 days, Sun's gonna eat it all up. Like the rest of the globe. HAHAH pun intended! go figure.

oryt. later! >:)


why does this day have to be so full of you? i knoooow, you're so past the majorcrush stage you've actually turned into someone i love. and i must admit, i'm trying to suppress the feeling. uhm but  i also know for a fact that doing so doesn't really do so. so sometimes i just let things remind me of you, it's not like it happens voluntarily haha but it happens a lot, so that's quite a problem. or not. you're like an intersect, everything i flash on extracts memories of you. i don't really intend to sound like i'm so love sick, but i guess that's the best way to describe me right now. minus the sick thing. cos even though i'm sick, it's not because of love. i hope i'm not being cheesy. argh.

anyway. i suddenly regret always pretending to be unaffected with your ''endeavors with women''. the truth is, i hated each and every one of them. except for the first girl you told me about, cos we come along pretty well. but the others. no. way. maybe because i don't know them personally. but you know. if i could be totally honest with you i'd tell you how ugly it is for a guy to hook up with so many girls successively and in short intervals. i hated you a lot because of that. he.he.he.he.he.he.

i don't know if you'll be able to read this. it's been a while and i wonder if you still go here. 

cheese alert.
so i'll just keep you in my heart, and do nothing. unless. >:|
anyway, i've got Yeorim as a majorcrush, so i've got someone to stare at. actually, i've managed to plot out his MTH schedule already. sorry. can't help it.

hi Chuck

what if there exists a world or a city so high-tech that money is practically virtual and no cash is being printed. it's a world where money is accounted in real-time and everything is balanced. money, in the form of digital signals, numbers, stuuuufff, is distributed in virtual accounts.  if you earn, someone loses. and vice versa. idk if that works but printing too much cash is economically degrading. so why not make money virtual? this way, you don't have to count everything on your till and audit manually. i mean, it's like obliterating cash and replacing them with debit cards. 

warning: if you don't watch Chuck, you'll be lost.

another thought. so Chuck has been highly engrossing me these days so i thought, what if we create intersects not with government top secrets encrypted into images, BUT with, say Chemistry related stuff? we could make a chip for Chemistry, another for Math, another for Physics, for Law, for COMPUTER SCIENCE... you know, just those really theoretical fields (uhh, i guess everything is, anyway). cos basically it offers knowledge upon flashing on a trigger. so, if i see a coffee bean i'll flash everything about coffee, caffeine, yeah. 

and then, we could sell it for a million grand. it's a technology so advanced i could only imagine it in movies. imagine if i had a Chemical Engineering chip, when i open it all the encrypted images that has to do with chemistry will be downloaded in my brain. then i could flash on an image of Bohr and know everything about his atomic theory. then again, it works only with a trigger. but it's still goooood. i'd buy that, if it exists. 

but you know, coming from the series itself, the process of "intersecting" requires a highly capable brain. probably an IQ greater than or equal to genius. consequences have been made clear in the series that if a bunch of dimwits gets intersected, they go straight to the asylum, or in a coffin, whichever works. so i perceived that a mental test is necessary before proceeding to the purchase of the intersect. 

so in short, these chips are only for rich, smart (or lucky) people. that's discrimination, the smart gets smarter and the dumb goes insane. uhm, this is a flop. i'm not gonna earn from this. this item isn't marketable but the concept is fun. haha

i have another!!!!
so the hadron collider was made to help answer fundamental questions about physics, perhaps about how the world came about... BY inducing a collision using a particle accelerator. hopefully this will lead them to theorize more about the big bang? or the genesis? however they wanna do it, smashing two protons together in ultra-mega-high speed hoping to split it and confirm the presence of a much smaller unit of matter... is really cool and is boring holes in my brain. i'm not making sense.

so dear scientists, since you're ardy too cool, once you've done all your research and experiments using this mega expensive and huge facility (the collider, yes), is it possible to recreate the big bang in a small vacuum and develop a miniature universe? since it's a mini-universe, you could be a mini-God. 

hey. what if, this universe that we're in is just a mini-universe from someone's mini-vacuum from some mini-God's experiment?! and the theory stretches on to eternity. and well, that's scary. that's almost limbo.

ok. God bless us tomorrow. i don't know a thing.


honestly, my 20th was just a regular day. no heavy anticipation or anything. maybe because there's nothing more i could ask for. i have a very supportive family devoid of any stressful issues, i have friends who make me laugh everyday, i have a job so to speak, and i'm doing well with my studies. aside from material stuff, what more could i ask for? i'm not deprived of the good things in life. i may not have everything. but i've got everything i need. 

well for the most part i just watched my wall get flooded with greetings. come midnight and the wall posts are pouring in, by the end of the day i've got 150+. That's all, that's what i did the entire day. i spent it like a regular holiday. 

during the morning we came to my auntie's gravesite. She died on my birthday 4 years ago, and every year we go pay a visit and eat breakfast there with our relatives. >:)

we had spaghetti but i told mom to just send it to the neighbors and my cousins rather than invite them it, LOL bad time to be anti-social but i'm in no mood to entertain. i didn't know what tired me, but i slept the entire afternoon off.

now that i'm 20, my friends are telling me that i should get a boyfriend. i don't know. i can't even tell if a guy is interested. i tend to avoid guys who are leaning too close, specially when i don't have (or can't envision having) special feelings for them. the closest i have to a boyfriend is a bestfriend, but of course, that's still totally far off. just sayin. >:) back when i still lived in LB, we used to discuss about our ideal guys, and my housemates would, after rationalizing, conclude that i just needed a bestfriend, not exactly a boyfriend. i still agree, yknow. though i don't think that still holds. i want a bestfriend, that's just mine. possesive! bwahaha like a boyfriend yeah, but that's a bit too scary for me. err idk.

i mean. uhm. i kinda developed trust issues after finding out stuff about my friends. now i can't just tell anyone about my secrets anymore. which is, you know, just me and my crushes. HAHA


hey, we're bestfriends but we only have, like 2 pictures together. one of which i am posting here lol

yeah. i miss sorely miss hanging out with you. you're the only person i could trust talking about my crushes with. it's a pain not to have someone like that nearby. everyone here blabs, and while i have no evidence that you do too, the fact that you're a guy probably makes the suspicion less.

i have a new majorcrush and i badly want to share it with you. >:((((( other than that, i miss you!

it's sort of like my favorite exercise right now. you know, biking! every afternoon i look forward to going around the subdivision to get a good sweat. well, i prefer biking in the morning cos i sweat harder with the sun but since i've got no time, the aft is okay. >:) 

so yesterday while doing rounds around the sub, i got chased by a dog. hahaha but i managed to stress myself enough to make me cycle faster. it was fucking barking at the humps. what a strategic place to wait for me. 



tact. learn it.

can i say something about the field trip? i know it wasn't worth 1,200 and the itinerary wasn't even met halfway. BUT I HAD FUN. i was complaining about the dullness of the tour and all the unsolicited side trips, but then i never expected it to be worth it in the first place. i came there for the subject incentives and my friends. and i believe that that's already worth 1,200. seeing that 5 of my subjects are throwing project incentives for it, that's like paying 240 per project. not bad. but that only works for people like me who joined for the same reason, which is what? 90% of the attendees. so really now, how can you complain like the trip was a total waste? surely that's worth, give or take, 20% of your final gradeS. i don't mind paying 1,200 for that. which isn't to say that the trip was worth it. LOL

well if you're gonna take it on the whole "field trip" perspective, it surely wasn't worth it. sure there were flaws, A LOT actually. but lemme tell you this, everybody knows that. so there's totally no need to RUB IT IN FURTHER (LOL i could only hope i'm not being ironic here). even the organizers know that. i can assure that everybody joined WITHOUT expectations, so why complain like you expected a lot?

here's what i can vouch for. NO ONE EXPECTED THE TOUR TO BE FUN (at least outside the bus). and if i may negate that, EVERYONE EXPECTED THE TOUR TO BE NOT FUN. and guess what, our expectations were met! so what's all the ruckus about.

if there's anyone who should complain, it should be those who expected the other way around hahahaha.

nothing really. just watching along the sidelines.
but you know what's ticking me off? see title above.

not taking sides cos i have friends on both parties. just trying to stay objective. on the bus level, i had fun. everyone did. that's probably the best that happened. and it's something to be thankful for.


i was trying to hypnotize myself to sleep by watching a vid at youtube but got too scared at the comments, so many people are asking if a monster is gonna pop out and scream somewhere in the video. i'm tired of that kind of sick joke. i hate anything scary. i haven't started the video and i don't think i could ever start with it. it's 8 fucking minutes long, it's supposed to make me sleep but the comments made me more awake. there's so much fear in me. OTL

ever since i got tricked into watching vids with scary screaming monster popping at the end, i always check the time span of the video before loading it. if it's <= 30 secs. chances are, a monster's gonna scream the hell out of you (or most likely, me). same goes for a picture wanting you to look closer to find a hidden item in it. they're all the same. they're all monsters. 

i'm gonna watch chuck.

you know, i've been eating too much ice cream lately. i'm not even depressed. i'm trying to get thinner. but oh well. >:|


switched to sun

uhh, finally i decided to move to sun. globe has been good to me, as far as keeping in touch with friends is concerned. however, it eats up a lot of my money. and the signal is really bad in our home.

with sun, i can save a lot. never mind if most of my friends use Globe. i'll use sun cos it's practical.

tomorrow, we'll be having a field trip at subic. this one day trip cost me 1,200 and the agenda isn't even half the fun compared to 500 @ E.K. i'm counting on the BUS ride tho. you know, i had to make stressful arrangements just to organize our bus so that all of my friends are in the same bus, in the their preferred seating arrangements. it stressed me out really. i don't appreciate strangers asking to change places. they piss me off.

and RA?! my favorite laughing mate isn't sure to come. she's supposed to be my seatmate! i'm looking forward pa naman to a lot of tawanan. but oh well. >:''(( why.


osya. yaman din lamang na magbe-bente na ko. eto wishlist ng taong walang pera. >:)

1) shempre CASH.

2) Harry Potter Book Set. mga 2,600 - 3,000. parang ganun! 1 to 7 ah! >:D


4) Bayaran nyo SmartBro ko, kahit 1 month, 1K! >:D

5) RARE: 2006 Fifa World Cup Lanyard: GERMANY BLACK
dahil hindi ako maka-get over nung nawala sya. >:( kasi naman e. lintik na chix yan.

6) 0.4mm Pilot Frixon Pen Refil

7) Bike lock >:)

8) well, CASH is preferred above all else HAHAHAHA



remember D? we don't know each other personally BUT just awhile ago, something happened that led me to actually speak to him. not in a friendly friend way though. thing is my friend found something that belongs to him, and when he was looking for it i was the one in charge so i ushered him to the guard BLAH BLAH BLAH. i couldn't get over it. seriously. he was too thankful. ♥♥♥

when my friend brought out the lost item, i knew it belonged to someone in their class cos they used the room where it was found. i sorta hoped that it would be his but dismissed the thought cos, what are the chances, really? i didn't expect it tho. i really didn't.

i didn't even get the chance to tidy myself up. what a shame.

this is too cool. of all the people who could own the thing, it happened to him! my majorcrush (as of 2nd tri, 2010)!!!! and to think that he just confirmed me at FB! wow. this is getting real. >:) he's finally going to smile for me! you know, as acquaintances. or like, as a gesture of gratitude for finding his valuable. well, technically, i wasn't the one who found it but i asked my friend for permission to give me full credit for finding the thing because i needed his "attention" more. uhm.

anyway. it's not like we're finally friends. hahaha
i'm just too happy.

TGIF's Shanghai Chicken Salad

is made of awesome

shared a plateful of this with my friends yesterday, in celebration of my bestfriend's birthday! she treated us to TGIF. haha first time to eat there, THE SALAD WAS AWESOME. well, the dressing was!! it was sortofa mix of lemon, lemon grass, pepper, vinegar, and something else. nakaka-adik. i could eat JUST that for an entire month if it's not too expensive. wish i could improv but the dressing is to die forrrrr. >8D

photo courtesy of my friend, inez. >:)

honestly. when i'm with my highschool friends, i feel stupid, and poor. i couldn't catch up with them. with their ostensibly intelligent sense of humor, their pasosyal ways. i SOMETIMES feel like i don't belong anymore. i sometimes can't get used to it. gaaaawd, social standards, just because we all came from an exclusive for-rich catholic highschool. i wonder if i'll become like them in the future, seemingly rich and oozing with sophistication. then again, as long as i'm rich who cares if i don't look like one. that's less the trouble of being scrutinized.

UPLB corrupted my standards. FERN fucked it.

what were they thinking?

you know what. when i got home from church, i slept and dreamt about school. err, i'm not sure, but there was JM, and other people my subconscious didn't recognize (or didn't pay attention to). D also appeared in my dream, and when he looked at me, MY DAD WOKE ME UP FOR LUNCH.


i almost thought it was real. >:|


yesss. i know how to ride a bike now. including making turns! uhm, and u-turns! gawd. i like rode for 2 hours around the subdivision and ended up with sore legs and bloody ankles. i can't get used to meeting cars on the road. i slow down and end up knocking the gutter. i think the brakes are too soft. and the the steering thing (well, it's not a wheel) isn't pantay. whatever. but look! my bike is awesome!!! the seat is low and it has a basket! like in korean movies! LOL thank you mommy and daddy! i thought i'm gonna miss out on this essential ability. >:D

then you know, after the two-hour mega exhausting exercise, my sister treated me to pizza, salad, pasta and ice cream. i really didn't want to eat a lot but she was like, "salad? why are you starving yourself?"

i'm fucking not starving myself. you just eat way too much. @_@

ever since i subscribed to smartbro, i became more thrifty and frugal. cos you know, i have to pay 1K a month. i don't want to run out of funds right when the bill has arrived. i now prefer walking than anything else cos of course, it's a good exercise and i can save a lot. i don't yearn for cheeseburger anymore than i used too. and i've kinda grown tired of chicken balls too. my recent craving would be selecta coffee crumble ice cream, but it's easy to suppress given that it's not cheap and translates to too much weight gain. LOL

i've never been this successful in guilt-tripping myself.
let's see how far i can go with this one. 

btw, D accepted my facebook friend request. for some odd reason. i don't think he's someone who adds people he doesn't know but anyway we have 32 mutual friends. it's enough right? LOL then brian told me how he has always been with us during the previous tri's but i never noticed cos i was sorta over-fixed at JM. arggh. why did i never notice? bri was like, 'there were times you were sitting beside each other' and mentally i wanted to yell at him for not even introducing me!

how could i not have noticed? what a tragedy. he's way cuter than JM, seriously! he's taller and HE WEARS GLASSES and he played in the varsity and uhm. nothing else. FOR NOW.
come. on.

you know me. >;)

anyway, i can't get over it. he confirmed me. maybe he remembers me? i think? i wish? PLEASE?! fine.

oh, awhile ago kinda sucked. i couldn't stand the silence between JM and i. he was reading and i was just sitting there, pretending to text. well, i was texting bon and dan, i told them how much i suck at THIS. nothing came from me, occasionally he'll speak then i'll respond but knowing myself, i couldn't have stretched that conversation any further. i suck so much. when bon came out of the room, i excused myself and followed him. I JUST FUCKING COULDN'T STAND IT. i'm a total twerp. it's okay if we're three, but it's just the two of us. i ranted about it. carl was there and he was laughing at me. i know, if i were someone else i'd laugh at myself too. a childhood crushing complex at 20? absurrrrd. i came out and he was gone. LOL

i dunno. i was talking to dan about it and he sorta made me realize MORE that i've wasted so many chances. i know. i never change do i? i still can't handle myself properly with these kind of people. i do like him but i'm afraid i'll turn out to be an extremely boring partner. i couldn't even respond to an instant message without sounding totally uninterested. argh.

i wish he knows this side of me. you know, so that he won't think i hate him or something.
oh right. he knows everything. he probably knows how my inner organs panic when he's withing 10 meters.

what a provoking jerk.


this day i realized that while there are things that are meant to be yours -- things that will just come to you naturally, things that the universe conspired to give you -- the real pleasure lies in acquiring something that you know you deserve, without the cosmos handing it over to you as grace, you know, things that you counter-flowed for. there are things worth fighting for. it's not always fate working its way to give you what you want or least expect. it's not all about waiting, searching for signs and wishing the universe would agree to what your heart says. sometimes you have to exercise your authority over your life, stop waiting for the cosmic fabric to fucking conspire, bend it to your will. cos when it does, the waiting stops. the world is yours. remember that a blessing is different from a reward. one is free, the other isn't. we begin to see that there's so much more we could own if learn to realize how well we deserve the certain things the world didn't serve for us in a platter. i'm talking about the more powerful things in life like power and money. you earn these things. they don't apparate like your soulmate. conflict, maybe, when you think it's not meant for you. well, you don't stop there. you don't stop by acknowledging that you don't deserve what's not meant for you. argh. mojo lost.

below is something i doodled while studying for networking. >:) it turned out quite a bishounen so i'm posting it here! wahahaha!

good news. i just applied for smartbro postpaid. that's 999 a month. whew. time to cut off MORE on expenses and, well, earn MORE. haha

another good news. my parents bought me a BIKE as an advanced birthday gift! i'm finally gonna be able to learn how to ride on one! HAHAHA loser much but yeah, that's about how boring my childhood was.

something bad. i was eating pizza 3am this morning and a part of my molar chipped off! and i thought i just bit on an accidental pebble on my pizza but it turned out it was my teeth! fucking sheeez. that's a friggin molar! i'm not even sure if it's an entire molar or a just fraction of it. it sure feels awkward having a toothless gap. T_T; whyyy??? but i brush twice a day? right. not enough. i know. hmm, this could be helpful to my diet! i can't eat ice cream now! uhm, yeheeey?!

DQ is such a fucking temptation. why did it have to be closer?! i remember wishing for SMF to have one, and now that is has one... arggggghhhh. next, YOSHINOYA please. >:)

the random stuff i draw >:)

made last october 15, 2010 at school, after having breakfast w/ brian. this was at the back of the paper mat they put on the food trays at mcdonalds. argh. it's very inconvenient having to describe it that way. is there a general term for those paper mats??? ay bobo. paper mats. duh.

hey. that's a month before his birthday! and a month and a day before mine. >:) e wala lang.

remember D???? my self-proclaimed Yeorim (Go Yung Ha)??????? i stalked him on facebook and saw that HE'S WEARING GLASSES in his default pic. can i faint for a while??? he's too cute. he's too... Yeorim. ♥_♥ argggghhhh weaknessss.

everytime i see him my heart flutters like crazyyyyy. >:D actually it's the smile eh. he always smiles. Yeorim always smiles. i don't know who i like better but at least D is real. yeah right. not that it makes any difference lol. he has a girlfriend tho. who cares? i don't.... wanna be his girlfriend anyway (or anyone else's for that matter. uhh for now. like 10-28-10 20:16:00) LOL

right now. my heart screams Yeorim! and ocassionally D, or G, or JE or MA. whoever's within sight. i am so unfaithful. WAHAHAHA who are they ba? they're just crushes!!! >:D i don't caaaare at all. yeah, and i'm so indifferent i put up an entire entry (even a Category) for these inspirationssss. WAHAHAHAHA

kinikilig ako. andame ko nanamang ballpen! >8D

nakahuhumaling ♥

wow pens! i saw something cheap! monami gel pens for 17 each! >:) they have 7 colors! FOR MY BIRTHDAY PLEASE???? 119 lang shet. @_@

ETA: BOUGHT!!! oh gawd, i'm so impulsive. around two hours ago i was drafting this entry. then i couldn't hold the temptation anymore so i left the pc, commuted to SMF and bought the glorious pensss, plus you know, coffee crumble ice cream. LOL i kept on telling you it's just 1 pint, but 800mL isn't 1 pint. it's 1.70!!! argh. but eating 1.7 pint sounds better than imaging 800 mL. that's almost a liter of ice cream. man. i can just die of guilt. oh my. and diabetes.

Lord, sorry. @_@

yeah right

this week is strangeley unalarming, considering it's midterms week. midterm exams don't really alarm me. sorry. i'm waiting for this day to end so i could go home and stream SS like crazy. i'm on episode 15! and there are only like 5 episodes left. 3 of which are in the subbing process. i can't wait. and by the way, i just switched to smart bro cos it's faster and cheaper. compared to globe that is. i haven't tried sun broadbad yet . hehehe

i don't have a majorcrush still but i have a lot of crushes at school!
let's list em! >:) HAHAHA

there's D who has the most cheerful smile in the world. everytime he smiles, he makes my day. ♥ ♥
there's G who i see hanging out with D most of the time. i dunno, been crushing on him since last last trimester but oh well, we're never really acquainted. same with D hahaha
there's JE. i don't know what to call him, he reminds me of my bestfried. lol maybe it's because of the height.
the there's MA. no idea what to call him either, not that there's a reason to hahahaha. he hangs out a lot with JE last tri.

so you see, i like 4 people right now. and i know none of them. i wouldn't put in much effort on em since they're just mino rcrushes. i'll prolly just swoon at em from afar. haha

oh gawd. looking at them, they could become my personal, eherm, Jalgeum Quartet! fanaticism brought to you by Sugkyunkwan Scandal. ayos. here are their roles.

D would be Yeorim/Go Yoong Ha. it's the killer smile man. >:)
G would be Garang/Lee Soon Jeon. he's a smartass, cold-hearted heartthrob after all.
MA would be Daemul/Kim Yoon Shik since he's the most "effeminate" of them. also the shortest i guess.
and of course JE would be Geol Oh/Moon Jae Shin because, err, because he's the only one left without a role. LOL

WAHAHAHAHA kinikilig ako just by thinking of it.
i don't think i could focus well on my exam this day.
45 minutes to go.

♥ ♥ ♥

don't read

bwiset ka. it's not funny. hope you'll quit doing this. >:(

i'm sorry. it's me. the problem is with me. i shouldn't have "investigated" further. the truth doesn't always equate to freedom. and freedom isn't always good. what a burden, this knowledge i have of you. i wish i hadn't known. fuuuuck. and i couldn't bring to hate you that easily cos there's really no reason to. eventually, all the blame will come down to me and my premature assumptions. they say i'm too dense, but it's really just a cover cos i couldn't handle the truth well enough to be called mature. such a tricky tricky life. this aspect of my brain is no doubt the most underdeveloped. 

i want, uhm, ice cream. >:(


this is extreme. when the connection is bad, it's really bad like 0.00 kbps. but when it's good, it's good like 1mbps. why can't i have a consistently good connection foreverrr??? 

folks, i'm on episode 9!!! i'm also quite aware that i sortof promised to just wait for the dvd to come out but, well, what am i to do when the connection is good?
yesterday after school, i followed my friends to trinoma to have dinner. it sucks being the only one who hasn't graduated yet. it also kinda sucks that we ate in a non student-friendly restaurant. LOL. anyway i missed all of them but errr, that pork pepper rice was expensive. T__T; hehehe

my friends are all fairing good. looking at them, i get really frustrated at my state. i'm still two years away from that elusive diploma. the truth is, i hate telling stories. when they ask me about my life i hate going through all the details. paulit ulit na lang e. wala lang, parang, can i just send you a link to my blog? HAHAHA or can i just talk about the koreans i'm flailing about? ayoko pagusapan ang past. not that it's bad, but it adds up to the remorse. ok then, it's bad. wala kasi akong ibang naririnig kundi SAYANG eh. nakakainis lang how these people never fail to make me feel like i did the wrong thing. i'm talking about people, in general.

seriously. you might call me ungrateful but i'm not too proud of where i am right now. >:(

gusto ko lang grumaduate, magtrabaho at kumita ng pera. 


he who must not be taken for granted

watching too much drama has led me to quite a passable observation of the so called 'other guy'. the lead male supporting character. the rebound guy. the one whose feelings are left unacknowledged for the rest of the series. the ever so faithful conveyor of all things unsolicited. how could you have not gathered enough pity to console this worrisome character? when all he ever did was be there when the lead guy was not? not to mention his presence wasn't expected, and WANTED to begin with.

this hurts me. i've watched several, if not tons, of dramas picturing woeful characters like this. i always express my compassion but in reality, i'm probably one those who thinks he shouldn't have done the things he did, right when it's evident that's it's not getting him anywhere inside the damsel's heart.

putting myself in his shoes, perhaps i'm too prideful to consider doing the things typical rebound guys do. if there's no chance, i'll leave. otherwise, i'll continue hanging on to that hope of having my feelings acknowledged and reciprocated one day. note that 'other guys' have an outstanding level of sensitivity that marks him as rather too assuming, or too paranoid, or just plain crazy. it's a necessary skill in order to distinguish whether his damsel has been dropping off hints saying you've got a chance, keep impressing me.

next. the damsel's shoes. if i were to walk in her shoes, with so-called 'other guy' tailing around me, i would feel extremely awkward, specially if i have already made it clear that i don't particularly need his concern. of course, his efforts are worth a recognition, after all, he's the one who's never absent when i called, he's probably "The One" --- the one i'm not looking for, and he's the one who claims to understand me better than the one i'm expecting to, which is sweet and creepy at the same time. imagine the possibility of a stalker with psychiatric tendencies. his diagnoses your every move and claims to know what you think, based on the Freudian theories. he just loves you, that's all.

fret not "the one", cos karma has it's way of making the world less unfair for you. the one you're following with all your faith, the one who constantly rejects your effort, begs you to quit and stop making things complicated, is also like you. a rebound. only, for some other guy, whom you would love to avada kedavra out of this world. but that doesn't solve anything either, for chances are the damsel you're wooing all your life, would rather follow the avada-ed one off to the netherworlds. hehe

i dunno, i'm writing this early cos i don't have anything better to do. i'm waiting for SS to stream WAHAHAHA actual reason why i'm up this early lol.

ok. as an end-note, and also in my honest opinion, as much as i feel sympathetic to these "other guys", i'd rather have them look for another. and for those damsels who enjoy being tailed around, come on, how heartless could you be? let them go. WAHAHAHA



SUNGKYUNKWAN SCANDAL! it's taking up my entire head! @_@ this is pretty much the type of insanity i wouldn't mind "suffering" from. i put off Chuck season 3 because of this. WAHAHAHA why? because SS has the romance factor that's lacking in Chuck, reason why there's no thinking twice on which goes first. but seriously though, even without the romance thingy, Chuck will always be on my top list of favorite series. why? because it's fun to watch again and again. romance series tend to go bland the 2nd time you watch it. intelligent series won't. >:) and come on, i may go swooning over Tae Kyung because of looks but i'll stop digging him if his IQ goes below average. HOWEVER, the characters in SS are all smart to begin with, soooooo. i forgot what my point is. i love chuck. but SONG JOONG KI is the cutest scholar everrr. kinikilig ako WAAAAHHH

btw, a day ago i saw a super cute highschool student coming out from school. gender is unidentified as my classmate and i are still debating on it. he's too cute for a guy, and too flat-chested for girl. this leaves me to worry about my own sexuality. LOL. if she is a girl then that makes me weird. anyway, i don't care. it's not like i like pretty girls. i like handsome girls. i like kaye from Ezra band. and Shane McCrutechon from L Word. and yeah, the gender-unidentified highschool stud who has eyes like Tae Kyung. hihihihi ♥ ♥ ♥

back to the scandal. >:)

while the ice cream melts

allow me to be emo this time by dwelling on the one person i still love, and will continue to, unless i hear God telling me to stop and look somewhere else. he doesn't know it, but i hope it shows. to me, he is the exception from my everyday routine, the distraction to my monotonous living, and even though he doesn't have a clue (uhh but i guess he does) how much he affects me, i'm willing to love him silently for err, practical reasons, or for reasons only the brain could surmise.

even i don't understand myself. i always make time for him, and i never put up excuses. that's how much i long to be in his company. it doesn't happen a lot these days so every chance is an opportunity to see him. just that. just one call and i'll go rushing over to his side. it doesn't matter if i'm the second one he called, i'm still the only one who came. for now i'm not vying to be on the first spot, i'm fine not being the first long as i remain a spot. LOL

love, really. beats me why.
but you know, studies always comes first.

i just bought ice cream and i'm waiting for it to melt. >:)
i'm also rerunning chuck season 2, while playing my chances on globe broadband... if i get a good speed i might try streaming SS. LOOOOOL i'm kinda not giving up.

oh the mascot. sige, maya maya hanap muna inspirasyon lolz.

i surrender

i was wrong. sungkyunkwan scandal is still airing on korea. so there's really no chance of getting dvds right now. the only way i could watch it to satisfy my hormones is to stream it online, in which case i need to invest on ultrafast internet connection that apparently, globe tattoo broadband couldn't give me. >:( so globe, goodbye. 

let's estimate:

so far, right now, they're at episode 16. 4 more chapters and it's gonna end. 4 days at most, 2 weeks depending on the producing korean network. a week after, the english subs should be out and completely uploaded online. another week and the pirates are gonna have it. another week and they should be able to burn these into cds. another week and they'll have it distributed to st. francis square ortigas, or more conveniently, commonwealth market. that's one month and a week, if my schedule is followed. 

so to make sure that it's really out and available in the philippines, i need to wait a maximum of 2 MONTHS. just in time for christmas. and since i couldn't afford to stream it with a mega fucked up network that's sucking up all my money, i decided to just surrender to what seems to be God's will, which is also the most practical and virtuous thing to do. God says WAIT. fine. >:)

see you on christmas kim yoon shik. this is sad, but it's better than assuming that God doesn't want me to watch you EVER.

so how did i come up with this LOL realization? 

you see, out of my dying desperation to watch the thing, i went to netopia to stream! i was planning on downloading the streamed stuff onto my usb so i could watch it at home. the dl speed was fast, but at some point, it lagged, and i couldn't find the right software to use for wat.tv (why did it have to be this complicated grr). i spent an hour and 2 minutes searching for a compatible software but nadda. >:| so i gave up and logged out, and they charged me almost 50 pesos for that. and i thought they charge 25/hr. fuckyeahmoneysucker. so there, i thought God didn't want me to watch it now. 

then i came down to the supermarket to buy something and thought, it's too bad that i wasn't able to watch SS, so i should treat myself to ice breaker!!! >:D >:D >:D >:D but when i came there, the stall was tindera-less. i cried (mentally), Lord - pati ba naman ice breaker??? i thought about waiting for the tindera to come but in the end, i surrendered again and just went home. 

i was on the ailse to the tryke terminal when i suddenly recalled that my parents were heading to FCM right now, i turned back to search the parking lot and OUR CAR WAS THERE!!! yehey! i walked back to rustan's and saw my mom, assisted her and blah blah blah. when i came out, the tindera was already there and she's the tindera who gives more milk servings!!!

so in the end, i had ice breaker with extra milk and rice crispies. 

oh yes, when God says wait, just do it. it's for the better. 

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