the Lord will give me rest

ang galing! God answered my prayers! REST! i will be sleeping for 8 hours today, oh joyyyy! >X3

taking King Asa's reign at Judah as an example, he purged his kingdom with everything pagan and offensive to the Lord. he destroyed foreign worship objects and commanded his people to seek God. and look what God did, he was victorious in battle and gave him rest on every side.

19: There was no more war until the thirty-fifth year of Asa's reign.

everybody wants peace. and only God can give that!

yeyy! uwi na koooooo >XD

reading: 2 Chronicles 14 -15

nothing just happens

i slept really late last night because of the yearbook.
my day started with a headache.
i arrived late for work.
and now, a very stressful job faces me like a monster, dark eyes gleaming, saying "you can't do this! you won't finish on time! you don't have what it takes for this task!"

my heart just died. my resolve just left me. i wanted to go home and bury my head in my stuffed toys and eat cadburry for lunch. i wanted to resign! 
then i opened my email and was happy to see that my daily dose of paulo coelho and bo sanchez is waiting for my weak mind to extract courage from.

paulo's message link was blocked, so i just read bo's.
his message is so timely that i just want to cry and seek him and ask him to be my ninong for life! haha

from now on, every time i'm facing difficulties, i'd do my best to think that NOTHING JUST HAPPENS. God is doing something extraordinary behind the curtains, and he's working for my favor. while i'm out the stage making a mess of myself, the Lord is fixing the background, such that when the next scene unfolds, everything falls right in to place. 

quite honestly, i'm still unsure if i can pull this task off. 
i may not have enough self-confidence to deliver this monster of a task, but i have all my faith in God! 

please take time to read this message. whatever situation you are in right now, i'm sure you'll be blessed!

hey this is kindof flattering

solenn retweeted my ad of one of her events! this kinds of works for me, this means more people are gonna see my ad on her page. and the more people open that link... well you know what that means! haha i'm grateful and flattered at the same time! mababaw lang naman to no but that's a celebrity! HAHAHA thank you solenn! LOL

so in case you're interested, here's a short plug:

Sollen Heussaff is looking for a stylist for the White's Hot Fashion Face-off. Submission of entries ends today though. for more details, peek into THIS PAGE


talking to your enemies

figures to ponder:

Abijah's army - 400,00 able men
Jeroboam's army - 800,000 able men

and who won? Abijah's troops won, slaying 500,000 men from Jeroboam's army. The power of the Lord, oyeah. that's 400 vs 800. who would've thought they could kill 100,000 more than their number. grabe. actually, di ko talaga maimagine yang ganyang kadaming tao eh. hundred thousand? and to think Abijah even made a speech blah to his enemies... may nakarinig kaya sa kanya? >XS

point is, if our God is for us, who could ever stop us? my favorite line from one of my favorite worship songs.  totoo naman. God will deliver your enemies before you. You just have to call on his name. <3

my head is starting to hurt again. i think i should sleep.

hell werk ahead (that's a pun for hell week! in case you didn't notice lol). 3 days remaining on a project that i'm still miles away from accomplishing. nakakaiyak na. i wasn't able to work on it during this weekend cos i also have to make time for the yearbook. gaaahh the yearbook. you better come out good! >XD

reading: 2 Chronicles 13


this week was every bit stressful. usually when i'm stressed, i lose my appetite but lately... i've been eating like hell and have gained 5 kilos already since the day i started working at smart. hay. not good. and because i was feeling depressed the entire week, i stuffed myself with cadbury EVERY DAY for 3 days (the limit of my wallet, apparently). i dunno if it's placebo or what but it did make me feel better.

also, since thursday i've been working overtime until 10pm... and for sure it'll extend until next week. i feel so dumb and useless. i frakking don't know what to frakking do with my job.

then there's the yearbook. my job is pretty much just to layout and oversee stuff but i didn't expect i still had to do a lot of post editing. this is what my groupmates hate about me during college. i edit edited stuff because i still see errors. i don't want to sound obnoxious but crap i can't tolerate that. >:|

and theeen i have a huge backlog for my devotion. i read 3 chapters last night but fell asleep immediately afterwards so i wasn't able to take notes. so now, i'm taking them down...

oh Lord please forgive me for always putting our relationship on compromise. sorry. >:''(

i was wondering why chapter 9 sounded super familiar... then jec told me it was already written somewhere in kings. haha. so parang matthew mark luke john din pala ang peg nitong kings and chronicles haha. anyhow, here's the message: you must always listen to your elders. not simply your elders, but people who are wiser and more mature. even if you're above them, you must seek their advice on important matters like ruling a kingdom LOL.

during my crazy leadership stints at college, even though i'm tempted to be one with the students with their militant thinking and anti-government predisposition, i can't just bend in to their complaints and be one of them. i was put in a position where i can communicate directly to the administration (our so called elders) and propose change... diplomatically! so i can't waste that stance. blah. nawala ako bigla.

i think what i want to say has already been said. HAHA

ansakit sakit na ng ulo ko. hayy

reading: 2 Chronicles 9-12

epic movie suggestion

king david's reign could well be an epic movie. see, he fought so many wars and was victorious. he led thousands of men to battle and with God's favor became undefeated! it sounds pretty cool to imagine it as a movie yaknow, ala 300. or Troy. or something else. HAHA astig kaya. pogi pa siguro si David hahahaha. and of course, included in his movie would be segments of his girlies. e madami ata yon. LOL

 i wouldn't say reading the Bible is fun. i admit there were a couple of uninteresting parts... like those chapters  containing nothing but an account of people whose names will probably never go down in history inspite of it being written in the world's best seller (duh Bible! *pun intended*)... literally cos they're so hard to read and pronounce. hayy so sorry Lord.

but of course! there were engaging stuff too like when david names the "three great warriors" ala three musketeers, and divides his people according to function. there's "the gatekeepers", "the musicians", "the priests", "the treasurers", "the army divisions", "the overseers", "the tribe leaders", etc!!! in my mind, an entire kingdom slowly unfolds as i read each and every function of the people under his authority.

then there's the temple built by solomon. the center of the kingdom! a place dedicated to God where his eyes and heart shall dwell for as long the people does not forsake him. freaking awesome temple, i can't quite imagine it really. all the precious metals and stones, molded and carved under strict specifications. purrrfect! i wonder how it looked like during their time! >8D

but still, i feel blessed that in this age, we don't need to slay goats and sheep as burnt offerings for God to hear our prayers. Jesus has broken that barrier already when he died on the cross for our sins. ang saya diba? parang mas naging approachable si God dahil kay Jesus. ang laking bagay non diba?
para kang nilakad ng kuya ng nililigawan mong chicks! okaya naman
naging backer mo yung anak ng may-ari ng kumpanyang gusto mong pasukan! jackpot diba? hehe

reading: 2 Chronicles 7-8

solomon's prayer of dedication

grabe. i was sleepy the whole day i don't understand why. i think i got around 7 hours of sleep naman but i still can't figure out why i was so drowsy the entire day. maybe it has something to do with the meds mom asked me to take for my persistent colds. hay. anyhow.

today's reading was pretty inspiring and guilt tripping. specially chapter 6 hehe. all i could say is, solomon's prayer is a prayer of a true leader. and i feel deeply ashamed as i read it. never in the course of my being president did i pray for God to actually guide my fellow students, my (as some would call it) "people". well, i do pray for them but for the most part i think i was complaining why i had to handle those kind of people. of all people. whenever i feel stressed about my acads and extra curriculars getting mixed up in my timeline, i always asked for guidance, wisdom, patience and supernatural powers too ... but i never considered that perhaps i should also pray for the students who are under my so-called "authority", to be uhm smart enough (to know when and where to behave)?. what kind of leader am i. >:'( LOL this is heartbreaking. all along i was being selfish! grabe nga naman no, how could i pray just for myself, right when i'm not the only one in the organization who needs the same amount of guidance? ang selfish ko pala LOL. huhu 

okay, thank you solomon. i shall sleep nao. good night

reading: 2 Chronicles 5-6

here we go again. and again.

everyday is just so freaking frustrating. it feels like UPLB is happening all over again. the whole 'i don't belong here' crap is taking its toll on me. well at least i can explain why LB didn't work out, i wasn't meant for it in the first place. i just squeezed myself into it, in the process losing myself and my supposed purpose for entering the university. it was my efforts and pathetic-ness that brought me in, not really my UPG and my imaginary iska aura. haha but Smart? i don't even want to think it's THAT big, but in my sense it's almost UP-big. you know, the regard i have with UP, i feel with Smart. and now it's eating me whole. JUST LIKE 6 YEARS AGO. and if history really does repeat itself, them i'm gonna be out in 3 years and BE HAPPIER WITH MY NEXT CHOICE. 

is that how it must really work out? for one, i didn't beg my way into Smart. i got in by their usual regular process. no re-considerations, just in. isn't that something to be proud of? i think so, but NO. it's still a mystery how i passed their technical test. it's not that i'm being pa-humble or maybe underestimating myself, but who in their right minds would let my exam slip by? if you only knew. i'm not trying to question their application process but i really really feel like i never really passed the test. unless they have a 90-10 grading criteria for interview and exam respectively then maybe uhm. crap. haha. haha.

this is downright annoying right? me complaining about a job that i probably really deserved but thinks otherwise? 

i feel misplaced, AGAIN. 
there are times when i'm searching google for java tutorials and end up searching for cheap MMA schools instead. oyeah. 

hungry post

easy come easy go! i kinda overestimated the overtime pay i was so looking forward to this (pay)day. haha i thought it was gonna be big enough to cover part of my pamasahe allowance or even enough to slash off a few items on my to-buy list, but guess what happened? TAX!

work work work. i'm not really the workaholic type but i'm kinda being stressed out already because of the gravity of the task at hand. it's probably my fault for not studying diligently the past few weeks. i'm not sure. i already told you, self-studying is not my style, nor is disturbing equally busy people with my uhm, lack of programming fundamentals. LOL. if i could just, you know, understand the very foundation of this all then maybe i'd be in lesser crap? who knows?

nanaginip ako! at naalala ko!!

one of the rare ocassions that i actually remember my dreams when i woke up! these are just fragments though...

// i was in some sort of exhibit and there were 2 cockroaches at sight. i was with a friend but i can't remember who basta when the cockroaches were ready to attack, i screamed his name for help and i grabbed one of the styro baords for defense and just continuously smacked it aimlessly on the air. i remember smacking a cockroach face down. i felt triumphant LOL but then, the other cockroach sortof took revenge and flew straight to me! eeew, my styro shield was no help as i fell to the ground and screamed AAAAAHH. then i woke up... screaming parin. nakakaloka.

// in this certain fragment, may special guest tayo... Angelica Panganiban! hahaha i dunno where i was but in that particular scene, angelica was wearing an ostentatious red dress, bright red lipstick and an equally kitschy fascinator! she looks like she came straight out from her taping of Here Come's the Bride hahaha. in that scene, the driver dropped her off in the middle of the street and she was grumbling about it. the sky was gloomy and a tornado was brewing and i was behind the bushes ata, watching the clouds. then suddenly, the clouds turned into a shape of a dragon which slithered down the pasture, destroying the crops and blahhh... it was freaking scaryyy so i ran for my life. tapos while running down the hill i saw a dog also running for his life, then it tripped and i heard it crying so i caught it up in my arms and pacified the poor thing. and kyot kyot kyot nung aso parang maliit ng golden retriever slash cocker spaniel tas naglalaway na sa takot. ganun. ang kyot. ang scary. then gising na ko.

// third dream! i was in a room with my crush from work HAHAHA. inaasar ko lang sya na ang gwapo gwapo nya. tas sya naman nagdedeny lang, nagtatago pa sa unan. yun lang. anlandi haha.

pangarap ka na lang ba?

dear Lord, please give me an art scholarship and i'll quit. LOL. srsly srsly srsly. iba yung excitement pag nakakakita ako ng magagandang artworks. iba yung inggit pag nakikita ko ung mga kaibigan ko na masayang nagaaral ng visual/multimedia arts tapos ako hindi masaya sa ginagawa ko. pag nagddrowing naman ako, kahit alam kong hindi ako ang pinaka-magaling okay lang eh masaya parin ako. per pag nagpprogram ako, dahil alam kong hindi ako magaling, nakakawalang gana na, nakakawala ng morale. Lord. huhu. nakaka-frustrate. nakakabaliw ung ganto diba. hayy. nakaka-emo! huhuhu


50 shades of what?

i was curious about this whole grey thing so i decided to download the trilogy as ebook. oha. that's probably my last confident download because of that bullshiz of a cybercrime law. then again, with a self-serving law like that which only protects its proponents, i believe they wouldn't care about small bloggers like me. HAHA and come on, i don't even think our country has enough technology to actually chase criminals online.

back to grey. note that i'm not finished the book yet hahaha. hmm, the first few chapters actually bored me. maybe it's because i've read tons of romance novels involving ultra rich and obnoxious hunks paired with young insecure and dead smitten girls. i didn't like how the 'love' story started... parang love at first sight lang sya ewww. it's like mr. grey instantly liked ms. steel without any clue on what's so special with her. puro given lang! the development of their feelings lack detail and progress. i didn't even like ms. steel's character, it's full of vanity and boredom and she's totally not lead girl material. as far as i have read, the only thing that probably carried this book off the shelves is the, as they put it, porn. WHICH i might say, is freaking overrated!!! seriously, i've read better lemon fanfics. come on. i'm disappointed, this book doesn't deserve the attention it's getting. or maybe it's too early to judge? k.

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