usapang destiny

yaman din lamang na nakiki-epal ako sa mga status ng mga tao.

there are statuses i just want to butt in and leave a comment to but i'm being hindered with thoughts like: we're not even close or nakakahiya naman. either way, you're in my friends list so... what's wrong? it's not like we're complete strangers or whatever. eh. nakakahiya parin.

anyway. do you believe in destiny?

i have no certain stand on this. i'm pretty much indifferent cos i guess whether or not you believe in it, it's all the same. you're on your own to an uncertain future. and whether or not your future is a product of destiny or your assumed free will, whatever happens.. happens. so much for an opinion LOL. eto lang, i don't think free will is the opposite of destiny. just because you yield to destiny means you're not exercising your free will. the same applies otherwise. haha ewan.

why do i always sleep late. >:|

for some KNOWN reason, i've been terribly distracted from work. i'm missing out on the important duties i have to perform... like following up the quotations at the office (gaaah. i hate getting quotes from suppliers. they almost always never reply), planning for ICON, figuring out WHEN to review for my quizzes, and convincing myself to get real probably have a break or indulge in something new. different. ewan.

i'll be out for 4 days starting on the 3rd! i wish it could be considered a semi vacay BUT NO. i'm afraid i have to take my books with me to iloilo. after this week, i am definitely hell bound. sometimes i wanna cut off the internet for real cos it's SO NOT HELPING ME.

and. and. the absence of a freaking Filipiniana GOWN is stressing me out. i saw some lady barong at the department store and thought it would do with some decent slacks but when i asked monica what she's gonna wear she said she's wearing the filipiniana GOWN she wore during the AOG. what the. i wasn't keying for something that formal. what the fudge. >:| asdagsdfsbjkgfshdnsada

i want to take the day off just to shop. seriously. ang hirap hirap hirap hirap pala maghanda ng isusuot. dang. owell, what's shopping when you don't have kacheeeeng >:(

sana walang pasok bukas

because seriously we haven't done anything with our thesis yet. it's the ultimate lazy time for me. HAHA and it was so funny how i was crying so hard awhile ago at the thought of someone's death, i was like omgehhh i couldn't possibly take it if you died now! *sobs crazily* i knew it was a bad idea to buy 125 worth of ice cream the other day, see i had colds and i was wheezing the entire day. sakit sa ilong grabe. i'm excited to leave next week! yehey! kaso wala nanaman akong damit! LOL. and i have this feeling that the school probably thinks it's a bad idea to send someone like me there. but they have no choice cos i'm probably in the right position to. di nga, i suck in physical representation HAHA siguro they're thinking i wouldn't even try to cake myself a bit cos i hardly do so at school. wala lang. maeffort magpaganda. >:| pero kelangan, school representation eh. >XO haynako, if i could only fix my myself the way other girls do DAILY, i would. seriously! but that would be such a daily struggle. bakit ba kasi ngayon ko lang naappreciate yung mga ganto. >:|

and wait. grabe lang. i realized i'll be missing SO FREAKING MUCH on the 4 days i'm gone. it's freaking Quiz 2 week! >XO haaay Lord. jusme.

good night! i have to sleep na! first time (in a long time) i'm sleeping no later than 12am! >:D

PS: Lord. i'm not asking for ondoy, just something strong enough to suspend our classes tomorrow please! thank you, i love You! >:D

someone cut me some slack

nothing productive for this day. as in nadaaaaa.

i'm afraid that if we make up we'd jive so much and i would be in total agreement with your relationship. i don't want to. even though i know there's a big chance of us being friends. i just don't want to. so maybe i'll just keep hating you like this. we could be "frienemies" (friend+enemy whatev) okay but really. no way. it's a risk you have to take if you let me in your lives, seriously. i'll break you. i'll be bolder this time cos i've let it all out. i'm not gonna let you win... further. so yeah, just allow me to hate you like this if you're not open to complications.

of course i'm just joking. lol.

okay. but seriously speaking. there's a brewing courage in me that wants to fight and lose. just for the heck of it. it was too late when i realized that. quotable quote is true, you only realize someone's worth when they're gone. true enough. so maybe i'll just cherish what's still here.

good night.

How reliable are our government offices when it comes to CLASS SUSPENSION?

everyone's pretty much up and awake tonight, waiting for further announcements on whether there's gonna be college classes tomorrow or not. as per rumors, CHED has allegedly announced that classes will be suspended on July 27 due to floods and continuous rain brought by typhoon Juaning. HOWEVER, some DOST_PAGASA facebook account says that, "CHED has devolved the authority to finally decide on class suspension of the tertiary level to the concerned Higher Education Institution Officials." IN SHORT, CHED no longer decides for colleges and universities when it comes to class suspension. it's all up to the heads, the deans, or the presidents of the schools. and YET, they have a so called protocol which "recommends" the suspension of classes to affected areas. which is more powerful? where do we turn to?

okay. so much bullcrap. after aaaaaall the time we've wasted waiting for their announcement, they go tell us to ask your school heads instead. woa, really. it's abandonment at its worst. this is so much like how PAGASA dropped weather forecasting and called it weather "reviewing" alternatively. apparently, their forecasts were all too shameful to be even considered as such. either way, the announcement just came in. regular classes tomorrow. owell, gotta sleep.

good night!

PS: another news came in, this time from the oh so reliable government, NO CLASSES DAW. ok, kanino ba kami sa susunod? sa dean o senyo? >XO

pancakes and syrup

classes were suspended earlier. that's -600 pesos already from my salary! what's wrong with the world today. around 2am earlier i felt an earthquake, srsly! >XO then greenwich called about an affiliation problem and i'm like, seriously? fudge nowayyyy. things are pretty uncool at school i dunno. there are times when you just want to get out of your circle and explore. not much of that luxury i guess. LOL. this suspension is not exactly the break i needed, i want to work. crap. and just earlier i got another curious ear, and he was like hey i've been hearing stuff about you, go spill. course i said it was nothing but come on, there's too much drama involved. later he's like how can you be so blahblah to me when i told every blahblah to you. unfair. so there, guilt trippin and yet another person in the know. >:| i want another box of that pizza margarita please. and coffee crumble. and siomai. >X| or zagu pearl milk tea. i am so freaking hungry. >:O i was in the middle of installing craploads of hacker stuff but then i thought, hey i've learned enough already. i don't need to know more. the more i know, the more i suffer. and hey, i just realized i could get into my friends' computers remotely just by chatting with them. why do i have this unusual appetite for secrets. hahahaha i could just ask them. i think. or not. okay, not.

one another note, i wish was more "literarily" gifted. haha
hopefully things will be better tomorrow.

kain muna! >:D

pizza date!

it's my sister's rest day, so we went on with the usual date! who cares about SONA (joke, i do), we're hungry. hehe

and we found this, El Bonito's Pizza
El Bonito's, St. Francis Square, Ortigas
Biiiiiig slices for 25 each

i dunno with you guys,  but it this cheap and cool. tamang pantawid gutom lang! those are really big slices for 25 each. and even though it's more bread than flavor, it'll do. i mean, if you're really hungry, lakas makabusog neto bwhahaha. i don't see a lot of this around... i only know the one at SM North jeepney terminal and the one there at St. Francis. other pizza stores would sell 2 for 52 or something, it's almost the same but heeeyy this one's super angat sa size! they sell a box for 200, that's 8 slices or 1 tray of what you see up there. ayun. try it! >:D

next, Papa John's Pizza Margarita

no meat, just cheese, tomatoes and herbs (i smell thyme!). this one's my super favorite pizza so far! sarap e. pero mahal haha, 9inches @ 280. i hate spicy food but hot sauce on pizza is an exception! >:D

one day

what's wrong. idealists. the visionaries of a false future. i don't get them sometimes. i hate people who plan too much and screw up and forget everything. times are tough, you can never be sure of what's gonna happen, except death and tribulation. you have to be practical. you have to see what's ahead with eagle eyes, not with starry logic and clouded vision. i'm kindofa realist so i don't buy future plans too much, unless you talk about insurance and financial investments. whatever happens, happens. it's talkshiz when it screws off so it's hard to put your hopes up too much. i just don't understand what kind of faith they have or how their mind works. haha i need to be explained to. lol

fudgery (aka kaartehan)

i don't know what's worse, posting crap about someone in blind items publicly, or telling crap about someone specifically behind their backs (or behind them, depends if you think behind their backs is actually their front). hmm. when it all comes down to it, every one's a bitch when they're angry. and well, for the lack of real friends or for the love of words, my anger is often vented into cyberspace; in my blog, in my tweets, in my statuses. and now that they don't seem to be doing me any good, i'm becoming desperate for another outlet. i look back to the old people in my life and hesitate because they've all distanced away from me, either that or i've become too wary that they might be too busy to hear me out or something. ang pathetic e no. my friends would totally hate me for this fudgery.
it's unfair to call myself alone. i know there are people out there who are willing to listen to me but well, the choice is not theirs. i can't just pick any friend to confide with. my world has gotten smaller. every little thing i do gets noticed. i am subject to every scrutinizing pair of eyes. the pressure is freaking me out. this isn't another crap load of assumptions i made to put the spotlight on myself. i could totally break anytime. and people would think i'm still being self-centered.

it sucks cos i have to limit myself to this blog. i've probably become too self reliant to ever consider other people's help. i never thought people would hate me for this. seriously. fuuudge. here i was breaking out of mediocrity and people think i'm being too big. the trust i was so hopeful of digging out fell 6 more feet under. this is hopeless. i feel annoyed. and betrayed for the nth freaking time. 

and i'm afraid that one day you'll discover all this shit and leave. it's takes a heart to accept things which cannot be changed, no matter how good the intentions are.


wrong move. super wrong move. perhaps you didn't realize the danger of what you just showed me. seriously, i'm not one to talk cos i'm not one to know in the first place. but. argh. been in tears for a while now. can't handle the truth, apparently. can't trust anyone. period. and i guess no one can convince me out of this, not even you.

Day 30 - Your Highs and Lows of this Month

July low - i can't seem to run out of things to do and think about. >XO

natapos din. half-assedly but the what the heck. >:)
this has been a very interesting month for me so far. except for thesis. which is the least bit interesting. >:|

Day 29 - Goals for the next 30 days

My ultimate goal is to do well in ICON week and give just requital to my grades who just took a nosedive to hell.

sometimes i wonder if all of this happened because of too much curiosity and crap. sometimes i regret ever screwing with the timing, the plans and everything. Lord, what do you say in all of this? cos seriously, it's taking up a lot of my brain. >XO i don't usually worry about things like this because the lack of formality gives me literally no reason to assume further, and besides, they say i'm kinda dense and won't take an action for a hint. it was cool until 20 years later.

another thing.
i'm sleepy and i'm having a hard time accepting that there is in fact loads of work for me to do. tons of photoshopping and reading and writing and reviewing. blah.

Day 28 - Something that you miss

afternoon naps. definitely.

who would've thought i'd get some sensible input from one of the most unlikely guys ever. seriously! he's turning into one of my closest and it's a crazy big breather. thank you Lord.

Love versus In Love

i've read this before but failed to note it. now i'm reposting it from tumblr because this is exactly how i see it.

“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”

Louis de Bernières (Captain Corelli’s Mandolin)

and yet most people think they're in it for the long haul without realizing they're still in the superficial "in love" stage. anyway, enonaman. osabagay mags-subside naman talaga sya eventually as the relationship progresses, and that's where you have to decide whether you're truly in it for the endless lug. paka old fashioned e no, parang walang patutunguhan yung mga ganitong pananaw. pero totoo yan a!

Day 27 - A problem that you have had

how cool is this, i was looking for him all over facebook a month back and just earlier, he made me realize that we've been friends all along, and that he was the one who added me first because... i don't remember. he just told me he searched me up and added me cos he saw my name somewhere as some kindofan officer somewhere i don't remember. he resembles my best friend so much, physically. >:) this night was pretty cool. i was like, seriously we're fb friends?! and i accepted you?! who are you?! weow. >XD

uhm. okay. quite honestly, i don't feel comfortable blogging here anymore but i've grown so fond of this place and look, LOL, i have a pagerank of 1. it's so hard to rank nowadays you know! and i was wondering where most of my visitors came from so i checked my stats and saw quite an awful lot of chuck bartowski searches. hey guess what, search it up on google and see the "images for chuck bartowski" part on the web search page. the first pic directs to my blog. how cool is that. seriously. haha

another high ranking search is "how to turn off chat on facebook 2011". just LOL. i wish i could monetize this traffic. traffic is still traffic. no matter how small it is. haha

oh hi, where is my sense of urgency. >XO
all my midterms still suck but i'm working on it. why must this trimester be exponentially harder?!

my boss prompted me to this children's story writing contest. i'll look into it but srsly, hahaha. i'll also TRY to write something for that peace essay writing chorva. i joined and failed last year, so i wanna try again! bwaha. 

yesterday, the shanghai siomai girl from the food court was like this to terai, 
ss girl: parang kilala kita
terai: >8|
ss girl: ikaw yung nahablotan ng bag sa jeep noon
terai: >8O
ss girl: grabi yun! dun ako dapat uupo sa pwetan ng jeep e. grabe talaga takot ko nun. dahil dun natuto ako, hindi na ako umuupo sa pwetan. delikado na. 
terai: >XD hehe

galeng diba! how cool is it to be recognized like a celebrity! LOL di nga, at least someone learned from terai's mischief! odiba, galeng nung coincidence. haha

and now to a problem i've had:

by 'had' it must be imperative of something that has already been solved. 

uhm. problem. masyadong marami i dunno where to start. i think my greatest problems haven't been solved yet, i'm still facing them kasi hahaha. ewan. problema. ano ba. pera? ah yeah, the one with my good friend! it was a problem. and it was solved. friendship issues! it strengthens the bond i guess! i mean, after the dispute, everything was much better. super. ayun. that's it. 

btw, i feel sad that i can't open up to just anyone about my worries because. because. i don't know where their loyalty lies. have you ever felt like you were so keen on pouring everything out but you just can't cause the people around you don't seem interested enough in what you have to say or that they have a tendency to report it to someone else urgh and you feel friendless and lonely and crap. like no one's on your side and everyone's spying on you. jusme a. lalo na kung hindi naman tungkol dun sa gusto nila malaman yung ikkwento mo and in fact, makaka-spoil pa dun sa gusto nilang malaman. hay. nakakalungkot kaya yung excited ka magkwento pero parang hindi naman interesado yung tao so okay, nevermind na lang. chaka lamo yung, conscious ka na rin sa mga kinikwento mo kasi hindi mo alam kung pano nila ii-interpret yun baka isipin, nanggugulo ka nanaman or nagpapa-pansin or nagpapa-ekek porket alam mong si ganto ay ganto at yung kwento mo e masyadong ganto. sus. 

nowadays, it's so friggin hard to get someone to listen to you with all ears and no bias and who wouldn't think you're all about yourself and crap. oh come on.

dark ages

ubusan ng tissue. sipon. iyak. grades. >:'''((((((( all my midterms suck. seriously. sarap magdrop!

then i'm also soooo out of the Harry Potter fandom, one day i'm going buy DVD rips of HP7 parts 1 and 2 and do a marathon (from HP1) here in the my room, with projector and lots of wasabi pop corn.

then i'm going to buy the entire 1-7 collection. and probably let it sit forever in my desk lol.

i'm also getting worried about my frequent memory lapses. i just received a text message, read it, and browsed the net for a few minutes, then i recalled 'hey someone just texted me', then i went to check my phone and realized that i've already read the thing a few minutes ago.

there are things i'm so accustomed to doing already that i end up forgetting them, how do i explain this ba. it's like setting the alarm before going to sleep. it's so automatic for me that sometimes in the middle of my sleep, i wake up and think if i've already set the alarm then marerealize ko naka-set na pala kanina pa. it's the daily stuff i do without so much thinking that usually slips through my memory. kasi there are things i do that doesn't require memory at all, like yung alarm nga and the matic things, not much neurons wasted in there. so feeling ko because it doesn't require too much thinking, it doesn't get etched in my brain, so it slips away. ganun. ewan. i'm worried HAHA.

eto pa, i usually forget if i've already locked the doors and turned off the lights. or pulled out the electric plugs and all. mga ganong bagay. nabasa ko to e, me ganito talaga e. at alam ko normal lang yun! HAHAHA

okay thesis mode! >:D

hey that was terribly awkward

i really want to ask what's happening but that's beyond my usual happy curiosity. in short, i don't think i want to know. uhm, that actually makes me the feeler here. refusing to inquire because i'm testing my own list of assumptions. anyhow, i haven't been faring well in my academic duties, you see the org has been eating up a lot of my brain, and it refuses to do some decent reallocation. i really need to study. thesis is killing my hopes. i'm so worried my grades are gonna take a nosedive this year and that's crucial. damn crucial.

i'm gravely scatterbrained, the things i do aren't linked in my memory. they aren't neatly clustered. i forget a lot and i'm wondering if my high school friend really has lupus cos it saddens me like hell. >:| my notebook is a mess, and no matter how hard i try, planners don't work for me. btw, my parents are back! >:D

tomorrow has to be good. there's a heck lot of designing, writing, and memorizing to do. i wish i could produce clones for each of these roles. haha

dear Lord, i have so much to say about this weird sdjfhshhadfsndhasndhsfjsfmffa. tomorrow, okay.

true love waits daw.

what is true love waits, is it waiting for the one you 'love' because the circumstances won't allow you to be together right now? i don't think 'love' is what's being nurtured when you wait, lalo na kung magkalayo kayo. ma-iinip ka lang, magiging doubtful, osige na nga magiging patient ka rin, pero aasa ka  naman sa walang kasiguraduhan. magseselos ng walang dahilan, eventually magiging nega ka na! pag-galang lang yung paghihintay kasi may kanya kanya kayong priorities. para kang naghihintay sa pilang pagka-haba haba, pagdating sa dulo, heaven! pero habang nakapila ka ba tumitindi yung pag-ibig mo? pag-ibig ba talaga yon or physical yearning sa isang bagay na matagal ipinagkait sayo? iba ang possessiveness ng mga deprived wahaha true love waits is actually not about waiting, para sakin lang naman. haha yung true love hindi nabubuo yan habang naghihintay, nadedevelop yan habang nasa isang relasyon kayo. at yung itinagal nung development na yun, yun ang essence ng true love waits. joke!

e kung sabihin ko bang hindi ko naman issue yan, me maniniwala ba? napaisip lang naman ako talaga e. tanong nyo pa kay terai >:D

good morning thesis! ano nanaman kaya ang gagawin namin ngayoooon >X(

A Preview of Gmail's new look

Classic theme (old)
Preview theme (new)
GMail's new look is perfect! It's neater and more sophisticated looking.and it has red accents! >:D will use this forever! hahaha i dunno what danger lies in sharing a screenshot of my mailbox. anyway. hahaha


everyday it annoys me how people are so full of themselves like the world revolves around them in utter fancy. >:| it's nerve ticking, to think that these people are just a speck of dust in our massive universe who happened to have gathered an overflowing amount of self worth. it's frakking annoying but there are things you just have to live with not because you're trying to be kind or that you have no power to subdue such irritating forces BUT because no matter how much their presence is a whip of bad karma to you, they are essential tools for survival. you need them, parasitically, you feed off from them.

i always wonder how much of the real world these people have seen for them to consider their issues to be that big. i cannot empathize genuinely because honestly, i don't see a problem. i don't see an issue big enough to gather fake onlookers. i don't understand why people complicate things, why people think something more than what they see, why people assume hastily and cast prejudiced verdicts. two things, either i'm being bitter or i haven't reached that level of maturity characterized by extreme tolerance to overflowing egos.


Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you

more than looks, i'm more concerned with maturity, intelligence and sense of humor. someone who acts older, who's smarter, more reliable and is genuinely Christian. someone who reads, writes, draws, whatever. someone inclined to arts and philosophy. there's so much to talk about life and blah and i appreciate wisdom a lot. hello ideal guy! bwahaha someone sensible, aaaaand someone i can be childish around with. nakakasawa rin mag ate-atehan ah, that's why i love daddy and terai so much because they spoil me! joke. no, actually i just want to feel secured. iba yung may nasasandalan ka pag may problema e. yung talagang malalapitan mo with full comfort and no ilangness, yung di ka mahihiyang istorbohin parang si terai. aw, when it all comes down to it, i bet i never really had anyone like my sister. sabi ni terai sakin dati, gusto nya yung magiging boyfriend nya katulad ko kasi baliktad kami e, ako daw yung parang ate (until she started earning and the tables were returned in place lol). ako naman, ayoko ng boyfriend na katulad nya! wahaha sama ng ugali! gusto ko yung katulad ko (and more!), at kung gusto nya rin ng katulad ko sabi ko mag-aaway tayo nyan! pareho tayo ng type! no waaayyyy. bwaha

waha lumabo bigla.
actually, i'm sleeping soon and hoping that God is listening and working on my immediate prayers! thank you Lord for Wendy's yehey they gave me salad and super large iced tea, i'm starting to love the place hahaha! >:D I'm looking forward to a successful year! and please please please THESIS. >:S ayokonaaaaaaa

sabi sa horoscope ko ngayon, maging busy daw ako at maraming kukuha ng atensyon ko. natumpak ng Philippine Star.

antamad ko talaga.

khad nhasdn cans fasj scsfa shj snd iusad fsudia isafoia suddo hah jrh nakfu ok alkfnehc haheyas ahs echa ikd jgnvn am endh jshej ganus udjsxja di kjalfak opak nselso skjfje elsckd ksjesiavj jqjjfjsj htjsivh jdhi nbttjhgah naintifhs jfjeu ntksj nsjc jsjufurhc?? jruch uso janhf uasba ji? jehfys gk kasi ako jahfn lang jswjdhsj. hayfn jak.

hey stress go away!

Day 25 - Someone who fascinates you and why

it's hard to think of just someONE, there are tons of people who fascinate me but usually the fascination expires. anyway, there's probably only one group of people that will always always catch my fancy and they are the ARTISTS! yeahhhh >:D it's both inspiring and fascinating browsing at smashing portfolios over the internet! i particularly adore Bjornik and Wee Will Doodle cos they're style is maximalism at its best and it's soo frakking kickass.

oooh Google+ >:D
just signed up and is eager to give out invites! >:)

Day 24 - Your favorite movie and what it's about


why do i feel like i work so slow? and that there aren't a lot of things to do. nubayan. the perks of being in such a  cooperative team. yehey! >:D anyway, after the GA, we have to work on the outreach and sponsors. and the tutorial thing. ayun. madami palang gagawin LOL. >:D

but for now, let me continue watching Vampire Knight! i'm on season 2, Guilty! >XD

vampires are such... romantic people! at least in fiction haha

my favorite movie? i seriously can't pick just one even though i'm not a movie person. i'm a fan of romance/tragedy! anything that touches my heart and makes me cry (not out of fear ha) is a good watch for me, i cry easily anyway. wahaha i've cried over AI, Bicentennial Man, City of Angels, Tuck Everlasting, Jane Austen, Wall-E, Click and blah. there's a lot LOL. oh i also like chick flicks! basta nakakakilig wahaha i dunno what my favorite movie is, but i have a major preference for anything Jackie Chan too. plus loads of tear jerkers. >:D

good night! tomorrow better be good!


pag lapit ka ng lapit dun sa me gusto sayo, malandi ka. pero pag sa iba ka lumapit, malandi ka parin. either that, or feeling nung me gusto sayo pinag-seselos mo sya. lam nyo girls, kahit anong gawin natin, MALANDI TAYO. kaya let's just do whatever, it's not our problem what they think of us. every girl is a damn flirt, stick with it, don't find it offensive and you'll see yourself in a state of freedom LOL. you can't get anyone more honest than she who shamelessly admits she's a flirt. >;) weh

THIS. (Writer Please!)

The three words that mean the most aren't I love you, with its history of being an accomplice to lies, with its bad reputation as a myth. What is I love you but the easy way out, the secret weapon revealed at the ends of long-drawn battles between desperation and despair? I love you is what you say when you run out of valid arguments but decide to keep fighting anyway. I love you is what you use when you want to appear to be someone youre not. These are powerful words, powerful in the way that politicians and generals are nowadays, worth their weight in gold. I love you has been the pillar of empires and friendships, and their causes for downfall. I love you is where you build the tower of your trust, only to see it crumble down when these words are said to someone else. I love you is what you use when you want to be unfair, when you want to deliberately hurt. I love you throws the whole equation in chaos, unbalances the seesaw. It implies the loss of reason and pride, but is used to manipulate, to blackmail, leaving behind disillusionment and disappointment.

The three words that mean the most arent I want you, with its raw, blatant inconsideration, its implications of a primal need that is best released orgasmically. I want you is what spoiled brats say, its what selfish bitches say, its what horny boys say. I want you is harsh, said through clenched teeth, said with wild eyes. I want you is a physical sentence, the amalgamation of skin against a number of factors: skin on skin, fingernail on skin, teeth on skin. It is violent and rapid, a whirlwind of emotion, an explosion of saliva and other bodily fluids. These are words that have no origin, they emerge from the basest of instincts, they are triggered by smell, by touch, by the look of rawness in another persons eyes. These are words that signal the coming of a storm, and like most storms, they wreak havoc and then depart, leaving behind ruin and wounds.

The three words that mean the most arent I need you, with its childish, clingy implications, its sad, pathetic grievances. I need you leaves you open, blinding you to yourself, eradicating all traces of self-respect. I need you is the dying breath of a failed relationship. It is the battlecry of an overpowered suitor. These words signal the clinging to memories that are either long gone, or never were. These words bypass true necessity to make fools out of the sayers. These are not words to be used by all; it takes the strongest persons to relay this message correctly. Otherwise all is naught, you only reveal yourself as an empty shell craving for something, anything, to fill it. But then, the strongest persons never have the need to say these words. Its the irony of life. These words are like taking a knife to your throat and piercing your skin gently, leaving behind a trail of blood too thin for anyone to see, but painful enough for you to feel.

The three words that mean the most, I think, the ones that really hit the mark, and often in the most unexpected of ways, are I miss you. This is the sentence that sends the message right home. Because what other message is there? Nothing else, except exactly just that, I miss you, and everything else is pulled along into it, like a chain reaction. Unlike I love you and the lies that go along with it, I miss you is honest and sincere, you only say it when you mean it, and you dont have to mean it in a big way to really mean it. Unlike I want you and its expectations, I miss you offers all it has, and waits for nothing in return. Unlike I need you and its desperate whines, I miss you stands on its own, a whole entity in just three words, devoid of arms that cling to you for life. I miss you means everything and nothing, it is unflinching and honest. It is upbeat and simple, with wisps of longing and clouds of hope. You miss people you used to love, people you used to want, people you used to need. But most of the time the missing is all thats left, and thats OK, theres nothing else you'd change. The missing implies a past that remains in its rightful place. Or it implies the reality and possibilities of the present. It is hope and love and lust and peace all at the same time. Some people say that when they met that person, it was akin to coming home. And missing is this manifestation of home-sickness, the way people return to their homelands to die, the way all the comfort the world has to offer is nothing compared to the feeling of being in someone's arms.

And that's why I miss you, because you're not here, and because every time I think about you, that's all that I think. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, and the world turns for both of us, and I can't wait until you come home.

Exactly, I don't remember a time when I lied about missing someone. Though they're not the most powerful words, they're the most sincere. >:) I love this article, who wrote this? I just copied this from a friend and it has been floating around the net anonymously. >:)

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