in the gym

i don't really plan to workout, i just came here to make my parents
feel that i'm not wasting my membership. you know what, i'm so sleepy.
but i still wanna go window shopping cos it's the last day of 'the
great northern sale' bwahaha. i don't think i'm overworking myself
either, my mom thinks i need to rest because i've got work and school
to juggle at the same time now... but really... they're overestimating
my job. @_@ the library is a cool place, it doesn't get me tired at
all, and i only work for 4 hours a day. i mean, my only problem is
adjusting to a brand new sleeping pattern a.k.a. the healthy sleep
scheedule. insomniacs aren't friends with day jobs. and also, my mom
thinks i'm starving myself! WHAT A LIE. if there's one thing i can't
resist being taken away from my lifestyle, that is indulgent eating.
mom, you don't know how much cheeseburger i consume at school. i eat
less at home because i get easily full with organic yellow rice, i'm
thankful for that. i've been trying to avoid white rice for a while
and yellow rice is such a good alternative albeit being a bit
expensive. haha
goal for the day. get a new backpack! a nice one i could use for
school cos i now have a lot of things to stuff in... like my baon,
water tumbler and books. i feel like a highschool student! :D
it's almost february.
yah, *quoting mark* hukeyrz?? HAHAHA


hi pen tool :)

hello pen tool by ~melodia04 on deviantART

bwahaha! jec taught me how to use the pen tool yeheeeey! salamat bro! :D
i'm a big failure when it comes to saving. apparently, the only money i have with me right now is my allowance for this week which is really small hahaha, just enough for the fare. i've been trying to save but it all goes to waste when i see a cool jacket or pass by DQ.

i wanted to go to LB for the fair but going there is gonna cost me a lot. so sorry, anne. i want to see you but yeah, i kinda want the cheaper way to do so. :\

i'm also reserving saturdays as rest days, basically to catch up on sleep HAHA i'm having withdrawal syndromes with the abrupt disappearance of siestas in my daily routine. i need to adjust. haha echos. 

today? i went out. again. i told myself i'll sleep the entire day but i can't resist going out with ate theresa, anyway i slept for 12 hours last night. nothing really, i just haven't been to the mall for a week so i guess i missed it. wahaha. terai followed us to megamall and treated us PIZZZZAAAA!!! yeheeeey! :D :D


ang sakit ng paa ko. T__T;

haha kala ko pwede na ko matulog

tambak pa pa pala ang dapat gawin. presentations, programs and favors from friends. haha busy busyhan nanaman ako. >:)

my allergies are getting triggered in the library! my golly, i sneezed 20++ times during the 4 hours i stayed in the circulation section to collate the books at ang lala ng sipon ko hahaha kawawang panyo. but nooo, i really don't mind. i was trying to suppress the wheezing baka isipin nila may sakit ako HAHA ayoko nga! kelangan ko ng pera. >:))

gusto ko sa library!

i saw my crush! i saw my crush! wala lang. :) he's all over my mind! kumekeso, amp! oo na, ganon talaga. hanggang tingin lang. haha


// filitwo was freaking hilarious. during a seatwork, we were asked to do a map from commonwealth to FEU-fern, then a couple of graphs. the map that i checked was so funny, so he drew comm ave, sandigan, the overpass, the tricycle terminal blah blah. but the overpass was labeled FLYOVER instead WAHAHAHA laughtrip grabe.

and weeell, we were asked to draw mangoes and someone drew leaves instead! others did stars and rectangles. my crush did triangles. =___=; i dunno if they were trying to be funny but, yeah, they succeeded naman. hahahaha

// after class... mark, neil and i waited for the cell group meeting. i learned a lot nanaman! sir lloyd was there and he shared a lot of insightful remarks about faith, religion and our purpose. i was reminded that God also has his own set of expectations for each of us and this is something we should prioritize to meet above everything else, because only his judgment counts. i couldn't agree more when sir lloyd said that religion is just a trademark and what matters most is faith because everything else follows if you have a strong faith in God. it doesn't matter what religion, since it's only there for formality's sake.

// after the cell, mark, jay and neil accompanied me to the reg office to file my application for SA-ship. haha kumusta namang moral support yan! overwhelming! salamat guys. the cell helped me so much because sabi nga ni kuya erni, believe that you have already received what you prayed for. i was afraid of being assigned at the college library kasi masungit yung front person. in fact, nasungitan kami this morning when we requested for a laptop. the entire morning mejo badtrip ako sa kanya but right after the cell, i changed my perspective. sabi ko, Lord i have to be friends with her! and sooo, sa lib nga ako na-assign and i started working for her.

alam nyo bang mejo na-shock ako when i saw her smile at me when i greeted her? parang, whoa. she.just.smiled. i never saw her smile before. anyway. everything's cool na from there on. hahaha

and weell, mejo nilamon ako nung time card machine sa reg office. wth??? how do you use that? hahaha nakakahiya mukang tanga lang.

// whew. at dahil dyan. wala na kong free time. no more siesta for me. haha antok na nga ako e.

haha malapit na mag feb! :D

what's with feb ba? aside from valentines? edi FAIR!!! i'll probably go fair-hopping next month. wla naman, diliman and lb fair lang nmn eh, yeah, and the compulsory school fair hahaha.

come on, we're selling tickets for a parokya ni edgar concert for 150! and up diliman is hosting a FREE concert on the same date featuring kamikazee, imago, blah blah blah blah (there's just a 80 pesos entrance fee but wth right?). tell me, WHO'S GOING TO FEU-FERN FAIR?

haha. feb is love! so i'll probably bombard this blog with entries about my college majorcrushes. i've had uhm, 5, i guess. hehehe and you know, if you could hack into this account you'd see draft entries about them. entries i'm too scared to publish because i never seem to finish an entry with a complete thought. and i usually feel embarrassed by sounding so cheesy. baka dagain tong blog na to.

today was good. i'm loving english3 so much because it's so fun! 4thglan still intimidates me but yeah, i'll work on that someday hahahaha. i'm going to pass my application for SA-ship tomorrow. i was kinda alarmed by the thought that i could be sent to work in the college library. under an extremely hostile librarian (no wonder no one goes there).  haha i don't even have a library card hahaha. 

// hey. i know, the smaller guy seems more impressive because he works and i have an impression that he has quite a big ego. and his smile reminds me of someone. yuck, 'smile' is such a cheesy word. wth. break na sila! HAHAHA epal stalker much?!?!?!

yes. sabi ko nga i have to finish a take home seatwork and a powerpoint presentation. :)

bye for now >:D

i want!

ok. i'm officially for noynoy aquino now. figured i can't trust villar with the Philippines. LOL look who's talking, someone too lazy to register. hehehe ;P come on, noynoy, change the philippines. and yes, i want that shirt! i want the yellow shirt. you want?

// i signed up for the music ministry this aftertoon. i dunno, they gave me a form, maybe because they saw me staring too long at the plate full of candies they have on the reg table. at least i signed up. i admire our church choir so much because they sing lively hehehe i never imagined being part of it, but yeah. whatever. ;P i got candies naman, hahaha.

// when i was still in sunday school, i used to give presents to this old lady vendor outside our church every christmas. she also used to give me free candies hehehe (which i politely refuse naman kasi benta rin nya yun e). i stopped giving when i came to college cos i moved to los banos and lived there for three years. when i came back, i don't see her anymore, instead i see a middle-aged guy selling on her part (her son, i guess). i wondered what happened, but i already thought maybe she got sick or something since she's already old.

awhile ago, i asked kuya vendor where lola is, and he said she just died last november 14, 2009. :( haaay, that was depressing. i could still remember how her face lights up when i give her gifts, how she would smile and cover her mouth (cos she has no teeth na) when she takes them, how she would insist on giving me the candies when i try to refuse it, gently shoving them to my hands. i will truly miss her. she has been a big part of my growth as a Christian and i will be forever grateful for her.

rest in peace, lola Felomena. :)
Lord ha, you take of her! thanks ;P

naman! nakaka-sad. :(((((

this is for a friend, plaridel. ^^;; hehe hope you like it. i made it as simple as i can, as you said. :D


// i'm gaining weight! oh noooooo! it's every girl's nightmare! you know yesterday, when i just downed two slices of cake, a chicken, a plateful of spaghetti and buko salad i told my mom, out of guilt, "ma, let's try being vegetarian, and let's quit eating rice!" it was an exciting vision, to see myself actually eating lots of greens, no rice, no red meat, just greeeeens. i will shed a lot of weight! according to this body composition analyzer i tried last april, i need to lose around 18 lbs of fats! yeah, i have 18 lbs of excess fat. and that was april last year! maybe now i've gained more. maybe i have 20 or 25lbs of fat now. hala! XD it's makes me conscious. sino ba namang hindeee???? i have beer belly even when i don't drink (often).

my mom supported me in my vegetarian delusion, even though both of us know we can't hold the rice, especially steamy, white, freshly cooked rice, tapos ang ulam ay pritong kung ano, basta prito. whew. i CAN quit with the beef and pork, but oh no with rice. anyway. i'll do my best!!! it's not the first time i quit rice, before i entered college i quit eating rice, exercised everyday and did everyone's laundry. i was pretty slim then. now i'm fat. =___=;

// i don't understand arrays in flowchart, lol.

// hehehe. my crush and i shared a book awhile ago!  >:P no mental panic at all. sabi ko na nga ba di na sya major eh. >:P he checked my schedule, asked for my next class, noticed i was a scholar (which is weird because hardly anyone reaches the tuition fee assessment when looking at RFs), etc etc. it wasn't even a conversation, it was a short Q&A with me doing the answering. he just asks. really. he asked more that he shared something. i know why, he must really be interested in knowing where in his past life he has met me before. or which planet i came from. is that good? why is this happening just now? when my feelings have faded? weird day.

i realized he'd look way better with glasses! oo promise, like Tom of PBB! >:Pcome on, try glasses!! >:D

and look, i shared my book with him but he isn't really doing the seatwork. minus points. that's probably why i started to dislike him, he doesn't seem serious with his studies. crap.

// yes i have an emerging majorcrush and i saw him this morning before i came to class! nothing, just... saw him.  what, i wanna be friends with him! >:) so i have to get in THAT job. LOL

// lol i also heard sir erick santos is still at fern. wheeeere? why do i not see him? it's in my wishlist to be in his class one day! haha

// gaaaawd flowcharting arrays. we have a homework i spent 2 hours figuring out! and i did! whew! and it's funny because i figured out i only have to add one process to the original flowchart to make it work. and i spent 2 hours and 3 scratch papers on that. freaking flowcharts. =___=;

// i was semi-hurt that one of my facebook friends deleted me in his list. semi because wala naman talaga kaming pinagsamahan, we're just shallowly acquainted with common friends and only met 4 times. i even greeted him one time when we saw each other on the street. really, i consider him a friend already. so why?

i was trying to keep my facebook friends real by adding only the people i know and vice versa, and i get this? oh well. i thought we were frienddddsss eh, sorrynaman. :( guess he was trying to get rid of people he doesn't really know? hehe ewan. >:)

ok done! haha

// i did taebo awhile ago. i frakking sweat hard! and that's just 20 minutes! after the workout i realized it was too short pala, like "that's already 20 minutes????" haha haha haha haha haha since i'm too lazy to go to the gym, i guess i'll just buy workout cds.

i tried this jacqueline smith body balance cd we have that has been sitting on the shelf for yeaaaars, and daaamn it was funny! it was a mix of dance and body balance at the start, i didn't finish it cos it's too slow i got sleepy and the steps are too... retro. that's ten years ago for you.

// and because my class is still in the afternoon tomorrow, i'm entitled to sleep late. haha >:P

tomi corn chips! XD

// there are times when i feel like blogging, but end up staring at a blank field instead. i missed those times when everyday i have something to tell, something to blog about, even when nothing much has happened in my life. those were the days when i was such a blogging freak i can't contain myself from excessive posting. haha those were the times when i rant about everything that has happened in school, the shallow things. times when my blog was still called Indistinguishable Gibberish. hehehe

// anyway, i think i should buy a TV for my room. haha kala mo kung sinong may pera! HAHA onga, i need to buy a digicam first HAHA, chka laptop. sinong mabait? donations please! kahit pang-kape lang sa Blenz haha

// right! i was hyped about this "Dell Laptop Giveaway (read info tab to get one free shipped to you)" group at facebook! i mean, free laptop, seriously???? LOL i never suspected, so i joinedthe group and invited all my friends. but i couldn't get past the human confirmation thing cos it says it's not available in our country. :((((( awwwww. i wish they would make it available here! i could handle the shipping for all i care. just. give. me. a. laptop. please? hahaha

friends :)

come to think of it, it's unfair to call someone your best friend. the word best is in the superlative form, meaning everything else stands below it. can you actually scale your friends from good, better and best? i could understand close friends, but best?

to all my best friends -- peachy, mannie, karla and brian -- this is not meant to demean you, or to question our relationship. i mean, i haven't seen peachy and mannie for years, yet i still call them my best friends. i don't even know if i still know them as a person, cos i only knew them as my closest gradeschool friends, and we all know things change. maybe it has become a social convention, and i am only conforming to how it is being used. i even thought having a best friend is just all for formality's sake... cos nowadays, everybody comes in pairs. i won't even call someone a best friend even though we act like one, unless we both talk and agree to it. haha but even though i have silly doubts about the etymological sense of a best friend, at least i understand the essence of it. so yeah, i'll still continue to call you guys my best. >:D

you know honestly, i never had someone (a fixed someone) whom i can run to whenever i have something urgent to tell. what happens is i spill it to the nearest close friend. like, whoever is in the apartment. whoever is in the dorm. whoever i get to hang out with during breaks. whoever. just... whoever. and this is not something i regret. in fact, i see myself having a lot of close friends. see, i don't have to wait for someone just to spill something that i have been aching to release. i don't feel frustrated cos i know i always have a close friend at hand. and i trust them all. i'm an introvert for the most part, but i make quality friends.

no, i won't buy you.

Happy Birthday Terai!

// i was a total bummer this day. i failed to go to the gym because i was too lazy and i haven't done anything productive, academically. well, i don't have a book.

// it's also my beloved sister's birthday! happy 21st! HAHA >:D sadly, she has work and she won't be back till around 11pm. which sucks even more cos her work totally robbed us of the privilege to celebrate it with the celebrant herself! grrr... i cooked pasta, and also experimented on yet another dip. i mixed knorr real seasoning, taco seasoning and all purpose cream. super yummy! HAHAHA i wish i bought tacos or nachos but all i have is a pack of salty Nova. pwede na rin. hehehe

// ok. i officially quit FFS (friends for sale @ facebook). in fact my last buy was my sister. thing is, it gets annoying when people constantly ask me to buy them and worse, save up for them. i'm not being selfish, i guess i'm just waaaay over the FFS fever and i don't wanna bother myself with it anymore. i've grown out of the silly little happy cactus fancy as well so i don't care what happens there. so yes, i'll probably spend all my money on gifts so i won't have any reason to buy anyone. it's gets tiring after awhile you know. right! i'll remove it from my notifications. LOL

// haha i've unearthed several old pictures of my sister and i from the bottom of the shelf and it was fun looking at them! wahahahaha :P lemme share some,


my shirt is ready! >XD

#1) like the pens? :P


// today was... okay lang! i spent to much on food, =___=; i shouldn't have brought money at megamall nakakapanghinayang! and here i was! trying to save for a cheap sony digicam!

guilty pleasure == blenz mochachillo. suuuuus, nagtaas na sila dati 160 ung regular (2nd biggest) ngayon 185 naaa!! it's their best frappe siguro and they're trying to make bawi to those people who spend the entire day and consume too much electricity charging their laptops and surfing all day (like me) haha. their whipped cream changed too, parang coconut based na ngayon. yummy parin naman pero mas gusto ko yung dati.

walang wala ang starbucks. tsk.

// on the way to mega, nakasabay ko si kuya onad sa bus! kuya onad is my brod from uplb who just passed the chem eng'g board exam. naks engineer! and i super missed our org handshake!!! it has been months eh, i thought i had forgotten it already hahaha.

// anyway, guess what! we're classmates at filitwo! wahahaha! i'll stop calling him majorcrush kasi hindi na sya major for me. hehehe nagfade na yata eh. crush na lang. haynako, we were almost groupmates! epal kasi labas ng labas hindi tuloy nasulat pangalan nya sa listahan. SANA SINULAT KO! pero i had to pretend i didn't know his name, kunyari kebs lang. WHATEVER hahaha

// why do i have a feeling i'll get lower grades this term? wag naman sana Lord. :(

// btw, i downloaded apache, mysql, and php but i freakin don't know how to install it or configure it. xampp is supposed to automatically configure it diba??? e malay ko ba ang weird naman nun. i think i have to look for other ways, like... may manual way baaaa? tell meeeee. >:\

// haha i made a new blog! i mean, walang entries, ni-register ko lang para akin na ung blog address (both on tumblr and blogspot): THE SERIAL DOODLER. parang mas gusto ko yan as an art blog though tamad ako eh, i upload na nga at deviantart, tapos cross-post pa dito tapos may tumblr pa? i just want to show my works to a larger audience and tumblr has the best platform for that. hehe

// my GEEK shirt is ready! wahahaha! excited na kooooo! XD


i have 2 new SETS of pens!!!! that's 40 multicolored pens to waste on my excessive doodling and to add to my ever growing colored pens collection! wahahaha! thank you so much brian!!! so now i've got around 7 sets of pens.... 4 felt tips, 2 metallics, and 1 gel. HAHAHA such a pen freak. anything i could use to draw colorfully makes my heart skip a bit, really! wahahaha lovely day!

onto this day, so earlier i mentioned i finished reading a book... i'm still fantasizing about my own Luke Brandon, arrogant, handsome, well-built, and rich! though me being a financial journalist (let alone, a journalist) is in the least of my career choices, i still wanna meet someone like him and fall in love! yeah, there's something undeniably irresistible with the arrogant-handsome-well-built-and-rich package that just takes me away, and guess what? it's not about love at all.

it's all about security. yeah, but that's just me. i mean, it's one thing to cuddle up with someone and feel safe. it's also one thing to talk intelligently to your partner; current events, showbiz, nat geo and discovery channel and LAUGH. then it's also one thing not to worry about money. it's kinda perfect the way i imagine it to be hahaha

so onto school...

we didn't have classes at data structures awhile ago so our teacher just let us play and browse the internet hehehe. rizlife (life and works of rizal) was kinda boring, but i guess i can tolerate it. why, i have no girl friends. then, webdev3! gaaaawd, sometimes i wish my teacher would stop praising me, it's embarassing! he was my C++ teacher so he knows me pretty well.  if only he knew how much i sucked at arrays in java programming and that i passed an unoriginal project, maybe he'd quit venerating me and my honest-to-goodness RAW programming skills. yes it's flattering but not really worth boasting around in the 'outside world'. he keeps mentioning my surname telling my classmates how good i am, that there are only a few good female programmers around **, i wish i could sink in my seat and disappear. it also adds to the list of expectations i must live up to. i couldn't disappoint this teacher, not when he's so proud of me. hello, stress, we meet again!!!

** - i never believed this one. i'm never really a good programmer. i mean, if you were here, you'd think life is too easy.

anyway. i'm kind of dreading wednesday because i have only one subject and it's filitwo (filipino 2). it runs for 4 freaking hours and i'm afraid of being friendless, my filione friends are all in a different section. i'm kind of hoping majorcrush is there, but i'm also sort of wishing otherwise. i have to have friends first. i need friends to spend the breaks with. nooooo, i hate being a loner. :(

blow me away

chick lit still owns me, after all. it's the only genre i could finish reading in a single sitting. actually i've just finished reading Confessions of a Shopaholic (ebook) and i liked it! well, writers of this genre have the same style, which makes it easier for us readers to just grab a book by the shelf and not worry about getting uncomfortable (and bored) with unique sentence structures... blah blah blah, weirdly i get affected by stuff like that. i don't even care if people think i'm reading books for the dumb... well it makes me laugh, no other book can make me laugh like i do with flicks. hahaha anyway, i'm a sucker for romance, especially when reading chick lits wahahahaha because it always seems comedic and romantic at the same time. lol my giddy hormones are erupting like crazy on the last part of the book where Rebecca and Luke was dating. wahahaha

Luke Brandon, is such a handsome name for a guy. fares almost like Clayton Westmoreland from Whitney My Love (Judith McNaught). those types of names just get automatically associated with multi-million companies and luxury cars right? whew. rich sounding names!

right. i have a class in one and a half hour.
and when i get back i'll download the sequel. haha

well, i think so.

the fight is never between the heart and the brain. it's just the brain all along. do you forget your wife when you get a heart transplant? no. then maybe love is just a state of mind. but above that, i'd like to think love is a state of our soul, not just our mind. i want to take it to a spiritual level but i can never tell. i mean, God loves us, and i'm not even sure if he has a tangible brain with hyperactive neurons racing past.  

hmm, i think it's more on the soul though. but whatever, me thinking about it only makes it harder for me to pick a candidate for *sigh* matrimony. LOL 

love is a beautiful thing to talk about... philosophically, not romantically. :P i've never talked about it this much. h
ahaha i'm not even half in love. wahahaha

ruled by expectations

school starts tomorrow! hello third term! i promise to do better this term, academically. haha i figured i'm facing much bigger responsibilities now than i have back in uplb. for one, everyone expects me to be the same old A- student, if not A+. it's hard to live a life ruled by others' expectations, but somehow, it can't be helped. it's my choice whether i'd bend into their demands or not. but the consequences are grave if i don't (i.e. shame). i'm not worrying about it though, because what they demand of me is the same thing i demand of myself every single day. their expectations are no different from mine, which makes it easier to bear. they expect me to be smart? i WANT to be smart. they expect to see my name on the list of scholars? i WANT to see my name there. they expect me to be a math whiz just like my dad? i WANT to be a math whiz, more than my dad hahaha. so it's not anymore a matter of what THEY expect me to be, but of WHAT i expect myself to become as well.

i know how hard it is to be expected something i can't give, it withers my optimism to death. everyday i want to be smarter, i want to learn more, i want to excel and rise above the rest because it's the only way i can regain the cognitive sense i've lost when i was in uplb. my self-esteem was murdered there, everyday i'm at the bottom of the academic ladder. i was made to think that everyone else is smarter, better, stronger and has higher IQ. it's a place where elite minds meet, and not say hi to each other hehe.

but besides the academic stress, i could never forget the place cos it's where i met truly exceptional personalities. people with so much sense i could go on talking to them for hours about anything at all. these people made me realize that's it's not all about IQ. i met people who are as academically challenged as i was, and they were the best people i've ever talked to.

whenever i tell stories to my feu-fern friends of how much i was a delinquent before, they wouldn't believe me. they never thought i had failed so much before. but i did. hahaha the most depressing semester of my uplb life was when i failed 14 out of 20 units i took that sem. almost got kicked out of school. but that was the past, and i'm trying to erase overwrite all the bad records i gathered for 3 years hehehehe

lol, i'm playing candy cruncher so i'll stop here.

the graveyard book - neil gaiman ++ colorgenics profile

it was a very interesting read! even though it took me months to finish it cos i could hardly finish a book in a single sitting nowadays, the interest was sustained. >:D

i could imagine this book being turned into a movie. hahaha [spoiler alert] --- i liked the book because the narration of the setting is so vivid, it also helped that it's illustrated, i could imagine the old graveyard, the hill, the sneer, i can even roughly sketch the characters based on the book. anyway, the story was cool.. LOL i can't explain it... the ending was sad though... >:( but it's ok cos it's what added to the story's distinct charm. it was written for kids so hurray for me not having to grab a dictionary or do some serious context clues-ing!

on another note, here's something i tried at:

my Colorgenics profile:

You are tending to pursue your objectives with concentrated intensity and it would seem that whatever obstacles may come into your path, you will stick to your guns and will not allow yourself to be deflected from your purpose. You are striving to achieve recognition and what is more - you deserve it.

You are very talented, imaginative and sensitive but you are holding back as you do not really like going it 'on your own'. In preference you would like to team up with someone, someone with similar attributes as your own, to explore - to seek out and go perhaps 'where no other man has trod before'. It is the unusual that attracts you and which will give you a sense of excitement and adventure.

You are a rather inhibited sort of person. This could be the result of your upbringing or of your schooling, whatever. You are able to obtain satisfaction from various forms of physical or emotional activity but all in all you are inclined to be emotionally withdrawn. As a consequence of this you find it difficult to sustain any deep involvement.

It is said that we are all influenced by our environment and indeed you are no exception. It would seem at this time that even though you may be surrounded by people, you are experiencing an inner loneliness. Fortunately you are sufficiently strong minded to realise that life has a great deal to offer you and that you may miss your share of experiences if you fail to make the best use of every opportunity. You therefore pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity and are prepared to commit yourself deeply and readily. You believe that whatever you would like to do or think 'you can do' - you do! It is because of this attitude that you may be considered by others as arrogant and even conceited, but its fair to say that whatever it is that you really want out of life you will put your heart and soul into it and will not take 'NO' for an answer.

The fear that you may not be able to fulfil or realise all of your ambitions makes you work and play hard. The thought of being prevented from achieving the things you want leads you to play your part with frantic fervour.

biyaya daw

haha! saw this one lurking at one of my batchmate's folders. LOL this picture was taken, uhm 2nd year higschool  (2 biyaya... yata?) .. reminds me how i'm such a dork back then.... and how much i used to hate that year. hehehe but i've moved on! and forgiven her, see the gap? yeah.

2nd year highschool was... the worst out of the four years. i remember having an enemy. i also remember our class splitting into two... ah ok nevermind. labo


// LOL i could only wish! i almost forgot to blur the 'Publish to ***'s Wall', imagine the shame if i actually posted it without checking. WAHAHAHA, fail photo of the year.

// shit. there you go again. i sooooo hate you! don't you fucking try flirting me with cos if it's you, it's not flattering, IT'S HORRIFYING. you simply disgust me.

sorry! not because of what i think of you, but because i hate what i'm becoming when i think of you. i become an evil person.

body balance

went to the gym yehey. >:D my sister is planning on getting a PT (personal trainor) cos she can't stand mommy nagging about her weight. hahaha and that costs a damn lot. i mean, honestly, all you're paying the PT for is to FORCE yourself to workout. if you've got enough discipline, then i'm sure you'll be able to handle your weight training yourself. haha something i can't do. wahaha

of all the group exercises, Body Balance is my favorite cos it's like yoga and pilates... a sort of scaled down version. i wanna try yoga too but i can't find a good schedule haha. actually, i don't have a sense of balance at all. i can't hold my right leg up for 10 seconds without toppling over. and body balances is a slow exercise, which is cool because you're just like meditating! wahehehehe

i'm pretty much convinced that i'm out-of-crush with ryan agoncillo already. ever since he got married, yeah. so maybe i'll start crushing over geoff eigennman instead! and coco martin! ♥ ♥

hmm, will be enrolling tomorrow. i only reserved 18 units, so that i'll get a lot of time to bum around. haha

Ang Panday (MMFF 2009) --- ohkaay?

ah yeah, spoiler alert.

so, awhile ago my parents and i watched And Panday because my sister gave us free tickets (she can't come cos she has work) and it's only valid on SMF cinemas and only during the film fest period. i was really excited over it because it garnered so many awards... best actor, best visual effects, best picture (???) blah blah blah. but when i watched it i was like, "ok. nothing special with the story. =__=;"

i mean, it was your typical hero-rescues-his-girlfriend thing that i've seen countless of times, there's nothing extraordinary with the story --- well it's the first time i watched anything panday--- ! and wait, i think there were so many cuts... or does it really looked rushed?

i like the characters though! the props, the effects, hands down to their creative team! but really, the ploooot????   i wish they had changed the story, or twisted it or something to make it more unpredictable.

and there were loopholes... you know, stuff i thought were too stupid but were included to make the scene look 'epic'. the part where flavio runs through the desert to retrieve his sword which has planted on the ground... lizardo's minions were running after him after having sprout from the sand. it's weird though, cos everyone was BEHIND him. why???? minutes ago, the evil cronies where appearing from EVERYWHERE, and now they only appear from behind flavio??? gaaawd, that's too pro-protagonist.

and why... lizardo was trying to block flavio from entering his 'castle' by sending his troops to the desert... but when he faced him for the second time, he apparated  themselves INTO his castle. i don't see the point! it's not like he's stronger when he's in his domain. and far as i've seen his powers, he can send an army of orc-looking-soldiers at the desert in an instant. no need to go to his castle, right?

my favorite part was when flavio lost his sight. i felt his 'acting' right there when looked so helpless, fumbling his way through the desert. but it was aaaaaall spoiled, aaaaaall spoiled when a 'fairy' (ann curtis) appeared and restored his vision. i mean, i felt like his being blind was made just so he could show off his 'best actor' skills and nothing else!

i thought! his blindless will stay and emelita and celso will train him to fight without vision and lizardo will be beaten by a blind panday and Pulang Lupa will be led by a wise and blind king. that sounded more epic to me. partida lang! but noooooooo. that disappointed me.

elenita (rhian ramos) dying is a major epic fail. i didn't like it at all! celso's there, she has a partner!!! why did she have to diiiieeee? why her? lolo isko could've made a better leaving character... his death will mean more than elenita's. haynako.

hahaha and celso (geoff eigenmann) is so stunning ♥ ♥ ♥ i love his role ala-legolas! though there's not much of his character introduced in the story, i still like him! ♥ ♥ ♥ now if only elenita didn't die. grr...

k. goodnight. >:D

wishful thinking

it's me being grade conscious and succeeding. don't read if you hate people bragging about their grades. >:P
yesss. my lowest grade is 3.00, guess what? shempre mathlog! HAHAHA i knew i wouldn't nail that subject that easily, i find myself contradicting a lot of the lessons hahaha nevermind. at leaaaast, my general average is around 3.42something so i could probably apply for scholarship. yehey. i've got a 4.00!!! a 4.00 at plane trigonometry! 

boastfulness aside, i wasn't really expecting a low grade. i mean, how many years have i been taking college math? 1 and a half years already! math17 was algebra and trigonometry, and math36 was calculus... and i failed that back in uplb, so i took 36 for 2 semesters hahahaha so i've been pretty much drowning in derivatives and integrations that year. and also, i've been coding html/css since third year highschool... so yeah, i owe my webdev grade to that.

yesterday i told jec i'd be at school at 730am but i woke up 830 HAHAHA whatever happened to my phone? i remember putting the alarm last night. tsk. i was also expecting brian and umpe that morning but where are youuuu??? i wanna be classmates with you this term! :( k, just take CSC-11 and we'll see each other there. >:)

i also read my name on the list of partial scholars some registrar guy was holding awhile ago. that made my day. that really really made my day. plus, someone in the list only had 18 units and still got in. so i thought i could take 18 units naman pala eh! so much for aiming for 21! and soooo, i only confirmed 18 units this day. haha

i really wish i would get the scholarship discount. $$$$$$
it's something new that i'd finally get to see my name posted FOR SOMETHING GOOD.
back in uplb, my name is always ALWAYS on the list of people recommended for counseling because of failed subjects, and the list goes on til page 5 (font verdana, size 10) HAHAHA... time to turn the tables over. >:D


nevermind the stuff under the cut, it's just me being flaily over my new wallet >:P and a new minorcrush! >:D

finally bought a new wallet! haha >XD after weeks of swooning over this black 3fold kipling wallet i saw at ebay, i finally bought one awhile ago... at greenhills! and what's cooler is that it's RED. yessss, freaking red! my awesome favorite color. i remember clicking the "bid" button at ebay yesterday, but canceled it when it prompted me for confirmation. i don't know what held me back, i guess my angel did cos i'm bound to find something better! something cheaper! the one at ebay costs 600, and shipping is 120. and the user hasn't replied to me so nevermind (she's online the other day but didn't reply to my query, maybe because i have 0 feedback points. fucking biased). the one at greenhills is 430. haha still pricey for a wallet but it's too rare so i don't care. and it's red.  >:D

we (terai and i) scouted the entire bags/wallets section for that! fawking rare. =___=; there's only one store who sells it. the rest sells the same things, the same shiny leather class A imitation stuff that'd still cost you an arm. and because leather doesn't appeal to me as much as fabric does, i'm not going back there anymore for wallets. haha clothes, sure. but nothing like divi... so nevermind still. hehe

i doubt he'll ever read this so i'll spill the name...
just recently i saw my sunday school classmate, maverick, at church and was shocked because he looks like HARRY POTTER now!!! he wears glasses and uhm, probably had problems growing up vertically but still, he looks like HARRY POTTER especially during his first year at hogwarts wahahahaha. >:P sooo cute!

never talked to each other, though the air of familiarity is there haha, too shy. k

will reserve slots tomorrow at school! haha i'm nervous about my grades, especially mathlog and webdev. wtf.

more on my insights about love + the awesome time and space warp feature i saw on nat geo

it's funny how the couples i thought would never break up end up doing so after a couple of months (some, years). some separate for good, remain friends and move on happily. but i can't forgive those who break up and become bitter afterwards, like nothing good ever happened in the span of time they were together. ever heard of gratitude? it's cute how these people tweet and shouts out at FB about how romantic they are with each other, claiming "forever and ever ♥ ♥ ♥". whenever i read posts like that in my live feed, i feel happy for my friend/s. but after a few months, a relationship status changed to "single", and 50++ shocked comments, i ask myself, "huh? but why? they seem to be the happiest couple just yesterday."

i can't help but think how people actually love one another, or if they're really in love in the first place and not just deluded by the misleading emotions they get. i mean, love can be easily confused by infatuation, and even a crush. and putting love in vain is the saddest thing we could ever do to it.

imagine if Love were a person and we keep on mistaking other people for it, doesn't that hurt? like you can't even recognize it when it's what brought you to this world.

Love: hey, that's not me! that's Crush!
Crush: sorry, Love. guess they think you're too shallow they mistook you for me.
Love: :(

Love must've been a sad person, being recognized only by a few people. and Crush, on the other hand must be enjoying all the attention it gets being constantly mistaken for love.

anyway. guys. this must prove how utterly conservative i am when it comes to engaging in relationships, i don't easily admit i'm in love, i take time to realize it first before i say it out, because as i said, i don't want to put my feelings in vain. i don't want to hurt love, i avoid premature confessions (which i gathered, is the main cause for bitterness after breakups).

have i ever been in love? not yet. >:P

moving on...

i watched a super cool nat geo feature awhile ago (in the gym, while walking on a treadmill), i guess it was called Speeding Through the Universe or something... and it explained how speed is the key in studying how time and space works. it also talked about how immensely perilous a black hole can be, that when an object get sucked at it, even if it travels at the speed of light, it can never get out, that's how powerful its pull is. and worm holes, yesss, those time travel tunnels i see in scifi movies that never fail to fascinate me, they explained the concept of a wormhole using an equally cool illustration.

wormholes are tunnels that enable you to transfer from one point to another in a short span of time. sometimes you get transported to a different space, and at some other times at a different space AND time.

imagine the cosmos, the universe, as a 2d rubber mat (scientists refer to this as a cosmic fabric). you plot 2 points on opposite ends, and the goal is to reach point B from point A in the shortest span of time. of course, if you're referring to the universe, that would take lightyears. but if you fold the rubber mat, make the two points meet, and punch a hole in it, you got quite an impressive shortcut there. in the astronomical sense, yes, you've made a freaking worm hole. then again, that's very difficult to do, you literally have to tear parts of the universe in order to create one.

there are many many more things that got me hooked to the feature and i just love nat geo because it's so awesooooome. diba? i mean, i don't fancy reading science books so this was a big big help. and there are fractals everywhere. >8D reminds me of my friend, jec. haha

right. i want cabled TV in my room! :(

love knows no reason? the heck.

whoever said that is either too lazy or is not really in love.

i believe that there is a reason for everything. there is a reason for love. only God's love is a mystery, human love is not! you love someone because she's your friend, you love this kid cos he's your child, you love your boyfriend because? "uhhm, i can't explain it. i just love him!"

don't give me that crap. is it romantic when someone can't tell you why they love you? like it's supposed to sound utterly enigmatic and sweet because there are no words to describe how you love this person?

my sister and i agree to this, that there is always a reason for everything (uhm, well except miracles hehe yeaaah and that scalar energy thing). if you're truly in love, you give it your own definition. if you can't explain it, then you're not really in love. love doesn't run out of words. being speechless is not an excuse.

coming from your resident hopeless romantic. yours truly. >;P
that's probably the best shot i got about love, since i've never been there and i'm speaking out of second hand experience (books and friends).


hmm. it pissed me off that we weren't able to watch a movie this afternoon because my freakin sister didn't read the tickets she has. it fuckin says there that it's only for SM Fairview cinemas. darn. it was too late when i inspected it, we're already at SM North Edsa. waste of time, waste of gas and waste of parking fee. i hated her for a while because of that. but she treated me wow steak and strawberry banana krusher so we're in good good terms now. hehehehe

we also weren't able to eat dinner with our cousins and titas because we went to church. my parents want to start the new year right by attending this 15-day prayer rally and it starts now so we're kinda dragged along. yes, dragged... because honestly i'd rather eat dinner with my cousins. >:( then again, i also want to pray. but prayer rallies like this go on for 3 straight hours so eventually it becomes dragging and insincere on my part. i feel bad as  a person. >:( 

i guess i'm on my best spiritual form during worship services. i could go on singing and clapping and swaying to the music every time the band is on. i admire people who play instruments and use it for the work of God. spirituality is now probably the number one thing that attracts me to guys. hahaha which is why deep in my heart, there is one person whom i truly adore, more than a crush, less than love... because he has all the qualities of my ideal man (and i believe i've mentioned him countless times in this blog already)...

well, physically he's tall, good-looking, and WEARS GLASSES. >8D
he draws. and reads. and has an above average IQ. 
and best of all, he's Christian. i mean, i could tell just by talking to him. 

i'm a sucker for people like him. but he doesn't know. yes, he doesn't know. 

new label: Crushes hahaha, in the future i want to read that category and just laugh at myself, at how cheesy and shallow i am when it comes to people that make me blush. >:P

hello 2010! >XD

just got back from a drinking/videoke session with the neighbors. IN FACT, it's the first time in the 10 years we stayed here, that i celebrated with people other than my family, and it's also the first time in 10 years that i held fireworks. ever since we transferred here, uhh 10 years ago, we never bought fireworks for new year. just food, yeah and the awesome view at our rooftop. the fireworks are definitely more awesome upclose. i was damn stupefied when they handed me lusis, like... "uhhm, which part do i light? and what happens when i do so? uhh, and what do you call this again? sorry."  

but right now, our new neighbor (uhm, like 1 year) is really a fun pack. they have loads of fireworks, and an an awesome videoke system loaded with recent songs. the coolness. hehehe

it also feels weird that my cellphone's display date now reads 1/1/10 (in binary that's 14, lol sorry can't help it). it feels like i reset my phone cos everytime i do, the date reverts to 1/1/00 (in binary, 12, sorry again) so yeah, pretty nostalgic. whatever haha.

december 31 was a busy busy day. our maid went on vacation so i'm left to tend to the entire house, i cooked and cleaned and blah blah blah, good thing dinner isn't a big hassle to me cos right before i could chop the garlic for the spaghetti sauce, our neighbor chimed in and delivered a plateful of spaghetti! yehey! saved! >XD hours later they bought us kare-kare naman! and earlier this morning, our other neighbor gave us lots of vegetables! a kilo of mustasa, a string of pechay, loads of talong... i almost thought mom asked them to go to the wet market for her. and mustasa thrills me cos whenever there's a pack of it, there always has to be burong mustasa. so i made one, and was delighted and at the same time anxious for 1 week to pass. it needs to ferment, yep. >8D i love to cook, but sometimes i'm too lazy. but weirdly this day, i was quiet enthusiastic with the household. oooooh, '10 vibes?

maybe the only thing that sucks is that my cellphone balance reads 0.46 so i couldn't send a single message to my beloved friends, then again, i thank facebook for being here. >:D

tomorrow HAS TO BE A GREAT DAY. my sister has free movie passes enough for the family so i'm really excited!

my wrist watch stopped working haha after 1 year and a lot of strap changes. i need a new one, and something's telling me that a BINARY WATCH would be the most awesome replacement for it, but it's too expensive. =___=;

anyway, it's 3am. must sleep now! goodnight and Happy New Year Guys! >XD

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