how many times have i written something similar, and yet. >:|


you probably never noticed but i've done a lot of sacrifices for you. little ones, yeah, but they're still a lot. and it kinda hurts that i'm just one out of the many girls who have a place in your heart. whom you can miss anytime, flirt with anytime, and call in a jiffy. come to think of it, i was never anyone special am i? i'm just someone who happens to be online when you are. just someone whom you spent a couple of months joking around with. nothing special. no one special. what right do i have to demand anything from you? none. roight. i never expected anything in the first place, because i know i wouldn't be getting what i expected from you. you're someone who breaks all expectations, who's more concerned with making good impressions, and who leave girls in a detrimental state of speculation.

i'm such a fool, thinking that maybe there is something. something more. but of course that's just me and my teen-flick saturated imagination. the truth is, i'm just like each an every one of your girl friends. i just insisted on adding something special to it so i'd be a rank higher than them, but honestly, there isn't anything special with me and you, and with the way you are with me. it's all my imagination. all a fruit of an overflow of creative juices. love really clouds human rationality a lot.

so maybe it's time to give up. time to give up thinking about you. time to quit making sacrifices. time to quit making our ends meet. we aren't for each other. we never were, in the first place. it's just me, and my seemingly hyperactive neurons making things up. we're never getting there. i thought you're the one, but that's quite an injustice to the number system. why can't i just think you're a regular friend whom i have no obligations with? whom i can hate and make up with anytime. that's how you see me anyway.

oooohkay. this is because i stalk too much. so you know, those really unsolicited information gets the bigger impression.

this is so pathetic. i put it under a cut to track the IP's of those who actually read this.

PS: you know what's ticking me off? you use the exact same words to ALL of them. how does that set me apart from them??? i'm supposed to be different from them all. i'm your self-proclaimed @#$%^&*UI() for crying out loud and you treat me just like how you treat your fucking flings. i ain't one of them. i hate it.


PS2: of course we're still %$#@!$%^&*( friends.

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