puppy love, stupid love, true love. i'm on stage 2.

some things are better left unseen right? if it's the only thing that would keep my sanity intact. i never wanted this to become serious, i never thought it would - in the first place. but it did. life's one way of saying fuck you is by making me fall in love with someone i can't trust, someone i can't imagine a happy, stress free and insecurity free relationship with. someone who catalyzes the production of toxins in my body by making me feel bad every single day. in short, someone not good for me. 

it could be a total insult on his part (only if he cares) because i'm calling him my STUPID LOVE. 
i love you, but you're not the one for me. i figured that by imagining life with you. painful. so is it still love? right when i don't believe in you? right when i don't trust you enough? how can i love someone who hurts me? 

precisely why it's called STUPID. :(

Dear Lord,

can i bargain with you? either you show me mr. true love, or you remove the feelings i have for mr. stupid love. i want him to downgrade to just a close friend, but you know, the type i cannot possibly love. if you have to show me the same clinic jim carrey went to, from the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, that would be equally helpful. just make sure they have a branch in the phils cos i don't have a passport yet. which reminds me, i'm not attending my appointment for passport application tomorrow, because of him (partly). 


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