coherence is not my virtue

if yesterday was full of crap, this day was full of crap and bullshit. i thought i was gonna get my good karma this day, but apparently things got worse. not in the sense that the bad things got worse, actually, more and more bad things piled and i feel so fucked up. hehe i'm exagerrating. bwahaha i'm always exagerrating, it's part of, uhm, creative writing. LOL so don't take me seriously. never take me seriously, unless you have scaled down what i've written and imagined what exactly happened.

i was never a frank person so i actualy prefer being plastic than spilling out the sad, fucking truth. i also try not to be too emotional, uhm, depends on who i'm talking to. there are people who really listen and engage in my stories, and there are some who listen but eventually end up talking about themselves. and there are those who don't care at all. HONESTLY, i don't give a damn who listens to me cos in the first place, i'm not sharing anything unless i'm asked of it, and chances are if i don't like you or i don't want to tell you anything, you'll get a lie from me. it's always so hard to open up. As in really really open up.

segway: my working hours were reduced from 20 to 16. FUCK. i want to blame our boss for being so stupid, for accepting SA after SA after SA, for not reserving the old SA's, and for not evenly distributing the amount of work in the lib (the hard, boring ones always go to me. and they're a lot).

segway 2: i didn't want to leave you BUT what the fuck is wrong for wanting to change my shirt?! i just wanted to play pingpong more but you snatched me away from my game. i just wanted to grab a change cos i'm soaking with sweat and i'm not allowed to? mare, sakal!

segway 3: i have a little crush on this little genius in our class. He wear glasses and his friends call him harry potter. IMBA, but he has a girlfriend.

so where was i? i've lied too much already. and if it's becoming a burden, i should know soon, but apparently it's not. so you see, turning plastic is my natural tendency when faced with undesirable twerps. the bad thing is,  i'm being dishonest not only to myself but also to the person. THE GOOD THING IS, for every fake smile i give, i am tolerating the person's irateness quotient and is actually giving myself a chance to see the person in a dfferent light. i've always wanted to be a person who sees good in everyone; that's the most saintly thing i've ever wanted. LOL

actually, my poblems weren't so big. i just tend to exagerrate every little thing i type here, blame the adjectives.

and so, my favorite word is a four-letter expletive some of you may love doing.
i can really feel the universe working against me this day, umagang umaga palang! whew

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