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sabaw @_@

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i want to drink. seriously. i miss the feeling of getting dizzy and drunk and just being crazy with my friends. i miss being light-headed cos recently i've just entered a state of paranoia regarding my crush. don't i always? but it's weirder this time. no, it's the same. the same delusions. the same hurt. it's all the same. why. i fail so much.

jec has been a really helpful friend right now cos i can trust him. when i wrote 'trust', i actually felt a sting of dismay, not with him of course. gawdemit memories. he's a fucking good listener. i dunno if he ever gets pissed with my rantings but i seriously consider him as one of my most trusted friends. i hope he doesn't get tired of me constantly babbling about my crushes. lol

i got home really tired. practice wasn't really tiring on my part, i just had to sit there and comment. i don't even know why i have to always be present, but i like it. who knows. and fuck i won't be able to watch the entire play because of work. fucking piss.

the last thing i remember last night was me eating pizza and dozing off to sleep. wasn't able to go where i was supposed to. greenwich > pizza hut. srsly.

ah ok i know now. i was awake the entire yesterday because of the playbill and much as i would like to sell it to compensate for my efforts and lack of sleep, and mostly to have money for an afterparty, they're giving it for free. that kinda disappointed me but what can i do. which reminds me, i have to work on a hundred-fifty copies of those tonight. hay.

i'm tired. but i'm not complaining. i asked for this. i'm happy i'm helping out. yehey!