nyay akala ko wala na >XD

-- i have never felt this special, as a friend. after an hour on the phone she said it's okay if she loses all her friends, as long as she has me. awww nakakatouch. i couldn't possibly say the same cos i never looked into the possibility of losing all my friends (and i never would), but she's someone i treasure so much. this sounds awfully lesbo but i'm cheesy like that. lol

-- HAHAHA. my friend kinda almost spilled something about JM. something that got me eternally twitterpated that night. the two of them exchanging gestures sometimes, i usually ignore them, but now that i knew it has something to do with me... what am i supposed to think? what could they possibly secretly talk about that involves me? fishy ito mga bro. and i have a drumming sense that i'm not gonna like it. now she's begging me to stop asking about it cos she might not be able to hold their freaking secret intact. she has to confirm it pa daw. confirm what? ok. i'll stop asking, fine. but i'm dead curious. eh si JM yun eh. ok. i'm curious. but no other feelings involved. is curiosity a feeling? hindi ko na sya crush. 

--nakakapressure minsan. there are expectations i need to meet, deadlines i have to avoid screwing with, and standards i must surpass. all the in the intent of keeping my 'smart' image intact. i myself have put my brain to the test. i can't keep committing mistakes, even small ones. i can't have low quizzes. i can't have a midterm standing below 3.0 but CALCULUS IS SUCH A BITCH, and P.E. IS A FUCKER. i have to keep learning, keep studying and KEEP READING. i can't fail these people but the problem is, they expect too much. huhuhu nakakahiya magkamali. 

-- the tables have turned entirely diba? i wasn't like this before. sure i felt bad for having a passing average of 1 out of 10 exams right when i studied so hard for them. but eventually i got used it it. and the people around me made me feel it's normal HAHA so carry lang. yun nga lang, hindi na nadala! but right now it's different. AYOKO NA BUMAGSAK. i know it's okay to fail, but i've had so much of that. i deserve this break. nobody believed i was smart until i entered this university. 

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