yet again

oha. my tears worked, hehe my parents promised me my own laptop on my 18th birthday. we had a little argument last last night but it was cool because we're all okay afterwards. i mean, me and my sister finally made-up. i kind of quit hating her then she kind of quit hating me as well. haha, i even sabotaged the internet connection before that so she would kill me for it but whatever. she's learning! she fixed it alone! haha, next time i should remind myself to put more internet hassles for her when she's up for a research. yeah, btch. >___>;
anyway. it's really cool, one of the rare times i cried really bad because of guilt. hahaha, you know, i hate myself sometimes for not acting mature enough to cover up for my supposed-to-be more mature older sister. that's what mom's been yelling me at, i should always be of cover to her shortcomings. okok, reliving things like this is not a good idea. i know. haha
but you know, i never said sorry to anyone. i just let my tears work. it was hardest to apologize to my dad because he was all pumped up during the argument that he lost control. really, it was bad. but what's cool is that i knew he'd forgive me no matter what. it was damn hard for me to follow him in the other room to apologize, but i did. only i didn't say sorry, instead i walked in the room, jumped him on the bed and just wailed, crying on his back. must've looked silly but i'd do anything to save my pride. that's just how bad i am about 'sorry' issues. doesn't mean i didn't apologize either, did i?
but you see. we're all cool now.
in fact i believe i should still be sleeping right now.
turn-off points update:
i think i'm doing good with harboring enough turn-off points to push him away. and i got a sort of signal that my assumptions were all wrong so i'm happy. :)

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