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snickering

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not cool. why do i feel like i have done so little for the organization's prosperity. >XO 
all the while i was only thinking of myself, of how my activities would spice up my resume. president of this and that, academic scholar and all. but then yknow, i wasn't really being a good pres and crap. i'm too lazy for my own good. my sense of urgency is way off. >:| all of these i have done for myself and myself alone. and also to ease my parent's disappointment (but that's only like a sickening 10%). sometimes i wonder about what was said about all these amounting to nothing when i die.

btw, quiz tomorrow. this time. i'm gonna read my notes. right now (orly? u beliv me?). for the record, if i do this now, it's gonna be the first time i studied at home this trimester. wow.

ah by the way, i don't understand why i've been too emotional lately. like every small thing that touches me makes me cry, every bout of insecurity, paranoia or jealousy tears me up, and every episode of Budoy (starring Gerald Anderson) brings me to tears. when did i ever become this soft and scared and crap. >:|

i haven't touched my notes! craaaappp >XO and nummeth still bums the hell out of me. plus i haven't been working on my OJT requirements. wth. >:| and the light in my room is broken. >:|