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i feel totally uncool being online at this hour. for one, it says something about my lack of social repertoire and enthusiasm about the coming year. hehehe truth is, 2011 -- more than being the new year (for now) is just a typical 'next year'. for me it's just a continuation, nothing sort of a new beginning where i shed off my old skin and regenerate a new one. i'd like to think that we only get to start once and end once. after all, we aren't cats, and we're only given a single life cycle to live. i'm aware i'm being obnoxious here, idek why but as i get older, the anticipation fades. argh.

2011. i'd like to welcome you with good vibes, believe me but i'm having a bitch of a headache right now i'm just gonna try to finish this entry before it ticks 00:00.

on second thought. i'm just gonna watch the fireworks.
naniniwala ako na mas maigi maglabas ng sama ng loob sa isang taong hindi marunong makinig. lalo na kung ang gusto mo lang naman ay makapagbuhos ng hinanakit sa buhay. aanhin mo ang simpatya at payo ng iba? magulo pa ang isip mo. gusto mo lang muna sumabog nang hindi inaalala kung OA ka na ba or wala ka na sa tamang pagiisip. gusto mo lang muna umiyak nang walang nagpapatahan. either maghanap ka ng taong walang kwenta pero may oras sayo o ibuhos mo sa pader kaso walang verbal fulfillment yon kaya bale wala lang baka lalo ka lang maasar.

pwede ring mag-blog.

hmm. dapat talaga nagsusulat na ko ngayon e. isang linggo akong walang ginawa. tsk.

nutella snack and drink? this has to reach the Philippines. NOW. >8D


" Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. "
- Louis de Bernières
see. i knew it.

one night a friend of mine called and said he wanted to meet up. he was crying and i found out it's about his girlfriend wanting to cool off with him because of her bigger other priorities: school and church. i sneaked out of the house just to console him. when we met he has already calmed, but he looked down.

anyhow after a few hours... they've made up already LOL. no breakup whatsoever. so, congrats and good luck! try to make it work? hmm.

WHAT I WOULD SAY: i'd let go of the girl. it's one thing to be supportive of something you know is best for her. which is, to finish her studies FIRST. she wouldn't come up with the cool off thing if she didn't think you're becoming a distraction. she'll owe it to you one day, for allowing her to become the best she can be without you. then you can go back together and not let go, if your feelings remain intact that is. it's not a matter of: if we really love each other we'll make things work. come on, how old are you? 18? you haven't seen enough of the world to decide to focus on just one thing. let her grow? it's good enough that she knows her priorities right.

anyway. i'm just sayin. i wouldn't count on my own words either haha.

wow. Chuck just gets better and better! i noticed that he kinda lost weight on this season but it's perfectly fine. i love chuck bartowski ♥

Season 4 is currently airing, and even though i badly wanna watch it, i'd rather have it finished first. then i'll just get a copy. i'm better at marathons.

This is holy. >8D Printed adhesive tapes at National Bookstore, SM Fairview. They're 30 pesos each. I bought myself one, and it took me almost 30 minutes just to convince myself that I only need ONE and ONE ONLY.

argh.
Spent the 25th at my lola's! it was a fun and tiring day! our family gets bigger and bigger every year that we couldn't even fit in the place anymore. What a blessing >:D Time has gone by so fast, we used to be the small kids running around and lining up for mint 20 peso bills from my uncles. Now, the only reason we run around is to chase our hyperactive nieces and nephews, but we still fall in line for the bills hehehe.

Some pics,




Happy Holidays!



PS: This serves as my first official entry in this new blog I created. HEHEHE I'll mark this, though my real blogging anniversary date is June 4, 2004. I already started blogging even before that (at blurty.com) but my account has already been deleted, anyway... either June 4 or May 30.

fine, i'll take June 4, for the lack of evidence. BUT IT FEELS WEIRD, celebrating on the wrong date. arg. let's just say June 4 is my Blogger anniversary, but i really started May something. sucks when info like this gets pulled out of the web. i should've known i would need it, then again i'm 6 years late. hahaha

http://livejunk.blogspot.com was my former and 4th blogger address, and it contains all of the entries from all of the previous blogs i had at blogger (thanks to the import option). So that pretty much accounts for (almost) everything i've been through since 2004. >:)
oyan kasi,  bs cyber-stalking mode! i actually befriended her just to confirm if there's something going on. kasi nahihinuha ko na meron e. elamonaman ako,

the ever suspicious, super selosa, overanalyzing cyber-stalker 
in the guise of 
a super friendly, ever supportive, martyr-martyran friend! 

ang hirap ng madaming alam. e kaso pano ba yan, tama nanaman ako! meron nga. pero wala pa naman don, pero parating na. si girl ang may hawak. ok. iyak na ko. >:'''(((




the more i get to know you, the more i feel less special. kaya nga kinagat ko na lang yung kaisa-isang chance na magkaroon ng stand sa buhay mo. i became your bestfriend. inisip ko na lang, ok at least ako may title! kayo wala! or wala pa. unless of course, sila rin!!! yknow... kahit na feeling ko hindi naman talaga tayo ganon, pero sabi mo eh. at least it gave me the assurance that i have a place in your buhay. kaya sige na nga, pwede na rin. if it's the only thing that would secure me as an important person in your life. at least even though i'm just one of the tons you've held hands with, kissed on the cheek, introduced to your family, and said i love you to, i managed to get (slightly) out of the bracket of being just someone you flirted casually with. at least diba. puro na lang at least. sabi nga dun sa nabasa ko, the moment you settle for something less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for. wala, sabi lang.

but when it all comes down to it, the only thing that sets me apart from them is being your bestfriend. besides that, i'm no different from all of them. aaaaaaaaaaaaallllll of them. then naisip ko, if you hadn't proclaimed me that way, it must've been easier for me to forget you. i would've been just a regular friend, kahelera ni ano, ni ano, chka ni ano, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera!! leche! but i still chose this. hallerrrr.

now i'm scrapping the no-tropa-tropa-talo-talo rule. bwisit yan e, cos apparently kinain ko lang din. so much for trying to protect superfriendships! from now on, everything is case-to-case. ibig sabihin, depende! o kay linaw naman nyan.

MALIGAYANG PASKO SENYO. WAG NA SAKIN.
ay shet bitter-bitteran!


caught him at Sabel and thought he'd make a better leading man than AJ Perez. acting-wise though, hilaw pa sila lahat! pero geeez, supercrush!!! >:D he registers to me as parang kim bum, and may pagka felix roco din in some angles. in any case, he's hot. ♥ ♥ and the smile man. the smile! wait, i'll get a pic.

good luck to him! better roles next time, but not bad for his first break. >;) ABS-CBN definitely groomed you better.

howkaaay, fangirl mode. >8D
tell me why it's such a wrong  idea to stalk your crushes on Christmas. kasi it ruins the festive air mehn!!! >X( shempre pagselosin mo ba naman sarili mo? sadya pa? henako. antagaltagaltagal na nito. hindi masanaysanaysanay! and see? i know when there's something going on! first time pa lang kitang nakita, alam kong kaagaw na kitaaa! and i was right! daaamn right!

dahil dyan, LET'S BE FRIENDS. >:) bwahahaha

terai: eh, mas maganda ka naman dyan noh
me: yun nga e. tsk.
terai: so ano problema mo?
me: panget mga type nya


MERRY CHRISTMAS! >:D
i don't know who or what to blame this on but i'm not in the mood to write! it's almost Christmas, but i can't feel it. >:| it seems just like a regular holiday you knooow, food, gifts, stuff. hehe

maybe i'll go watch the remaining of chuck season3.  >:)


oh wait. something epic happened, i was able to bike out of the sub! and i thought the guards won't let me out. e bat dati?! >8D yehey for conquering my fear of getting hit by cars! LOL i didn't go far, i just came to get a haircut and cellophane (FAIL) at the new salon across petron dahlia. kainis, waste of money! hair treatments are always always a waste of money. remind me to do nothing else but get a haircut whenever i enter a salon. >:\

so what exactly is a cellophane? the dude-gal just colored my hair with washable henna wax and wrapped it in cling wrap! it's supposed to make my hair shinier and look less damaged, but the luster for the most part only came from excessive blow drying and ironing. i bet it's all gonna wash out when i take a bath tomorrow. so much for 500. i could've just colored my hair at home. akjvhbadatdBANHJAN

btw. i've finally verified my paypal account using the eon card. so many deductions wtf! a dollar per withdrawal, sheeezzzz. @_@ i'll let it sit there till it accumulates enough for the withdrawal fee to be lifted. till then, i'll have to work harder. >:\

but first. let me enjoy my vacation by watching chuck! >8D

ang loser e no? walang magawa ngayong pasko! the malls look uninviting, and i'm always so broke. HINDI KO ALAM KUNG SAN NAPUPUNTA PERA KO SHET. internet, tithes, what else ballpens?! wala na. ubos na pala don lolz. naghanap pa e!

sige, hmm, ay ayoko magplano dito. may sumpa tong blog na to e.

may alam ba kayong mas madaling trabaho???? it's good being complimented, but it's better compensated.

the learning experience was unbelievable though. the power of research writing is truly amazing. i wish my research hours are also being paid for!

may namimiss akong tao nakakainis naman!
i was wondering on what could have been if none of it happened. i would probably have a new best friend. then i would have someone to talk to right now. then i wouldn't have to rely on this blog for a decent outlet. but it did. i consider it a loss, but that's life. you lose some, you gain some. but sometimes you just lose some, and nothing follows.

i'm probably writing this for the total lack of inspiration on hair loss (current writing assignment), and also for the total lack of people i can talk to... who are sensible enough to consider my post-teenage rants as, uhm, a natural process. hahaha

i may have told this a lot times, and every time i do, i feel guilty, but for the nth time... i miss the people in LB. and you know why i feel guilty about mentioning this.

this stage in my life is so different. i want to think it's part of the whole welcome-to-the-20's process. i'm supposed to be more mature. but i find myself doubting more, trusting less, and working more autonomously. i'm afraid i'm turning into an independent wreck.

PS: oh i know why i'm suddenly all emo and feeling friendless. this track is to be blamed: Time and Space by The Accidental. it reminds of me chuck, sitting pathetically with a bowl of cheese balls, making a waste of his life because of a wrong decision.

btw, chuck made me cry a lot earlier. AGAIN. season 3 is so emotional, i'm running out of tissue. or maybe i'm the emotional one. but still, i've never cried this much in the previous seasons. >:'(
i've maxed out this pc already. no enough space to store mp3s!!! so now, i need these

1. 1 terabyte external hard drive. i found one at ebay for 4,000 (seagate). but that's gonna have to wait. HAHAHA i'll have you. soon. i said, TERABYTE. TERABYTE. nakakakilig shetttt

2. 8 gigs microSD card. i've used up the 4gigs, and it sucks that i have to delete a few albums just to make way for a new one, namely... CHUCK SEASON 3 UNOFFICIAL MUSIC COLLECTION BWAHAHAHAAAAA!!! so the 8 will be for my phone and the 4 will be for school. i just bought a microSD reader for it, and i'm excited to cover it with my pink snoopy scotch tape. it will be my soon-to-be official usb. until it gets lost, again. huhuhu

yeah. it's not easy to be in this business, you always need space.

HEYHEYHEY, so diba nga i was so pissed off that my sister won't take a butt cheek off in an effort to lose weight. we even had a quarrel last night because of it. but now that we're ok and she wants to make it up to me, i had one (secret) condition: SUN!!! BWAHAHAHA so while she was sleeping, i stole her phone, killed her globe, gave her a sun, and told all her friends about it. poor terai doesn't have a clue. i even logged in on her facebook and walled about her number change.

BWAHAHAHA i'm such an imposing sister. didn't even give her a choice. hohoho. PERO OKAY LANG YAN, I'M SURE SHE'LL FORGIVE ME. diba terai? >:)

PS: i just called her, and she's so.... MAD. @_@;

PS2: she's not mad anymore! BWAHAHAAAAA
tomorrow (plus the next 29 days) will be yet another research writing period for me. >8) 

this day: spent the whole day at church, christmas party kasi ng homebuilder's ministry (parang couples for christ.  for my parents ha). oyon. daming pagkain yesss. kaya naman,

earlier this night, i bought maggie. maggie. the one eunice and mc recommended pampapayat. i thought it was yet another slimming tae (pun intended). pero capsule pala shet natakot naman akow. who knows. who knows. let's see after ten days. 

bakit ganon. ako ang taong dalawa ang trabaho pero walang panregalo. >:\

PS: super thanks to jec dahil sa kanyang napakaasayang christmas gift! >8D 2006 FIFA WORLD CUP LANYARD, GERMANY BLACK!!!! >8D >8D >8D >8D dahil dyan, i can totally let go of this grudge. solomotssss!!! 

it's pretty rare having people respond to my wishlists. HERE. dalawa palang silang ganon. >:D >:D >:D >:D

PS2: pagod na ko. pagod na ko sa kakasaway sa kapatid ko sa kanyang walang humpay na pagkain. ayoko na. nakakbwiset na. bahala na sya! hindi ba nya naisip na ayaw ko syang magkasakit? hindi na nga covered ng healthcard yung asthma nya tas kain pa ng kain! nakakaubos ng pera magkasakit! grrrrr binilhan ko pa naman sya ng sun sim. konek?

PS3: didn't meet with my bestfriend today. ibbgay ko na sana yung gift ko, at ibabalik na sana nya yung chuck ko. kaso nga, christmas party. dahilan ko lang yata yon. tinatamad tlga ko e. for sure yun din. ewan ko ba, wala ng anticipation. ayoko lang tlga siguro ng mga plano. lalo na pag ako yung naginitiate kasi, tatamarin tlga ako. ok pa yung biglang hatak e. parang dati. pero ngayon, walang ng ganon. kung gusto mgkita, kelangan pinaplano. hassle pare. wish you were here. 
i'm done with the project, but gmail is such a bitch it won't let me attach. now i'm tryna sort this out before i totally waste my deadline. i sent my employer a copy-pasted version, but of course i still have to work on the attachment. this can't go for long. asd;kNLFMDS ' it says, shockwave flash is being unresponsive. unresponsive my ass.

mr employer is asking if i want more assignments, i do. but NOW i'll extend the contract period. i just deprived myself 10 days of decent sleep because of my silly 20-articles-in-10-days challenge. considering that it was our finals week when i accepted it, i just realized that it's suicide. asdlvj fsn;mlan;khw'

let's see, so in the past 10 days. i've written at least 7,000 words divided into 20 articles. that's so much torture. but i guess, i just have to manage my time and try to write during the daylight so it doesn't feel like i'm doing the graveyard shift. THE PROBLEM IS, i like to sleep when the sun is up, and work when it's down. but you know, SCHOOL.

adfchjbn;m. now that vacation has started (kind of, just one more exam tomorrow), maybe i can write more?

challenge accepted.

here's my next project.
40 articles, 30 days. sounds better. >:)

at least i have job.

Muticolored Pilot G-Tech Set! THE AWESOMENESSSSS. saw this at Tumblr and got excited to have my own, though i could only imagine the price. individually this costs around 70/pen x 10 (minus the "wholesale" discount) would probably run from 600-700. Earlier i asked NBS about this and they said it's not available. they only have the 3 basic colors for it. no other colors. >8((( ARGGGGHHH then again, looking at my ever growing virgin pen sets, this would be yet another impulsive decision. hmm


also earlier at NBS, i saw this paperback collection of Paulo Coelho books!!!! lo and behold, it only costs 2,399! now that's cheap!!! considering that divided by 12, each book would roughly amount to just 200. JUST 200. a paulo coelho book for 200 is crazy. i wanted to buy it, though i already have 2 of them and have read 6. pero i forgot everything so. I SO FUCKIN WANNA BUY THIS. @_@

Paulo Coelho: The Complete Collection includes
The Pilgrimage
The Alchemist
Brida
The Valkyries
By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept
The Fifth Mountain
Veronika Decides Die
The Devil and Miss Prym
Eleven Minutes
The Zahir
Witch of Portobello
The Winner Stands Alone

BTW: this is probably just a Novels set since Warrior of Life (which is a manual) and Like the Flowing River (a collection of thoughts and reflections) aren't included. BUT STILL ♥

PLEASE ♥
i just had one of the scariest dreams. @_@; i slept at around 1 or 2-ish this morning... i dreamt that i was in my room, with some people i haven't seen in a long time. people i was never really close to... nicollete and bebs (hs classmates), and christian (college major crush #2 hehe). we were having fun. i guess there were cards involved ewan. then we were laughing so hard that nicollete has to grab our hands for support. she was holding my hand on her left, and bebs' on her right. laughing, she turned to me and said "may manggugulat sayo."

ay pota. hinigpitan ko kapit ko sa kanya. sa sobrang kaba ko naging nightmare na sya. nakapikit na lang ako, anticipating the gulat factor. habang lalong humihigpit, lalo akong kinahabahan. then that's when i tried to wake up kasi hindi na kinaya ng nerves ko. mega stress level. the fear of the unknown talaga o.

minsan natatakot na rin akong matulog pag gabi kasi ayoko ng nightmares. kaya mas feel ko matulog pag maliwanag pa. at least pag nagkanightmare ka, gigising ka tapos maliwanag. then the nightmare ends. kesa naman nagising ka tas madilim. kalurkey. utang na loob. magisa lang ako sa kwarto. at queen ang kama ko. ampota. i should stop scaring myself. e kasi naman, PRAAAY.

i looooove kurt hugo schneider! and even though i have this drumming suspicion that he's gay... along with his bestfriend sam tsui.... i fucking don't care. their talent is what counts. >:D

oryt. 3 and 3/4 articles to go. >8\
here are a couple of things i need to accomplish before the sun rises.

1. at least 2 articles
- was supposed to do this yesterday but my alarm clock failed me again. you see, i slept for 12 hours. >8D but it's fine, it's the best gift i could probably give myself these days. last friday night i toiled over our digicir project (which paid off) and did 4 articles. @_@; the next day i got sick. here's when you start to regret taking jobs that aren't well compensating, all for the sake of earning paying the internet bills and buying meds for my stupid allergies.

2. study for our algorithm final exams.
- asdackdv vaakbnhsd

3. my cousin's homework
- which was passed onto me because they don't have the necessary technology for it (ie. internet and printer)

now. it's 11, and we just bought a healthy supply of my favorite coffee. >:)

glasses on.
good morning everyone! >:D >:D >:D

my first ever attempt to create a simple LED circuit! the wires are a mess, but that can be forgiven. at least it followed the schematics right! >:D

now. off to work. i have 4 articles due today. well, that's my personal deadline. sleep has been scarce these days. gotta make the most of my waking hours.

work mode. @_@
i was reading my previous post and thought, where did i get these math? it didn't make sense to me. specially 4-6. i was thinking, where did i get 4? 6 came from 2 articles times 3 hours. thing is, my computation was wrong hahahaha!

where the hell did that 4 came from. OTL

ok. back to work.
i looked at my time table and thought how i'm going to be sleepless for the next 10 days, that's until the 17th. my first writing assignment was every bit hard. i didn't think it would be this, uhhh, hard. argh. 

let's see if i can do this. 

everyday, i get home more or less around 4 or 5. then i bike til 6. then everything school/junk related gets my 6pm onwards. NOW. being the slow writer that i am, a 500 word article would probably take me 3 hours. excluding research. normally i get sleepy at 12. 4-6=2. that means i only have 2 hours to study for whatever school is asking me to. SO. in 10 days, i have to write at least 2 articles a day to produce 20 unique writeups. 2 aricles = 6 hours. asdsadgasivbagsyfldh

recommendation:
i have to extend past 12mn.

conclusion:
i'm killing myself. 

PS: i got chased by a dog. again. i thought that orange firefox dog was cute, until it came running for me, barking in an unspecified language. i was screaming when i pedaled home. >:|
no, i'm not doin anything breadboard related today. i just busted out the entire pack of LEDs i bought yesterday, so i had to buy new pieces. grrr i knew it, it was so foolish of me to try them out at 9V. >:| i lost 30 pesos because sheer stupidity.

for now, i'm waiting for skype to finish installing on my PC. my to-be employer required me to do so, to facilitate easier communication. i dunno, i'm new to skype and i'm fucking excited to start working on this project! so what is it? i'm only starting my odesk career now, when i signed in a year ago. just recently, i had the honor of having an employer initiated job offer. which was crazy so i accepted it right away. now i'm preparing for my first writing assignment! the job is two write 20 300-500 word articles on various topics.

an article a day keeps the boredom away! no, make that two.

PS: i'm currently in love with this video: http://youtu.be/CHv8pb-4fmg  that's Kurt Schneider's cover of "Listen to your heart". if there weren't so much talking in it i'd dl this as mp3. couldn't find a better cover! ♥
so i bought some materials we would need for a breadboard circuit project. ONLY i have no idea how to use them. apparently, i managed to damage 12 out of the 20 LED lights i bought, dunno why. i tested them, and they all sparked. i thought that's how they're supposed to light up, until it dimmed and smelled funny then i realized i just lost em. i used a 9V DC battery. should i use a transistor? HOW. the only thing i enjoyed doing was stripping the wires. otherwise, it was all crap.

btw. i'm crossing my fingers on this job. please? i'm gonna be broke this christmas if i don't get this.
the book i ordered on ebay finally arrived! it's a second hand copy of All American Girl by Meg Cabot. it's a favorite one of mine, and is the first ever book i read in a single sitting. been wanting to have my own copy hehe.
i'm totally getting the hang of buying books online, they're cheaper, for one! course, it doesn't matter if they're second hand, or even third as long as it's readable, and in good condition.

the thought of reading excites me a lot. if only i have a pretty couch in my room then i'd be more inspired! tamad e! the problem is, i forget everything i read! so i want to reread everythiiiing. as in, every single book in my shelf right now. also! whenever i wanted to read, the urge to doodle always kicks in. so note to self, if i plan on reading, bringing a book alone will do. no emergency ballpens, or paper. just a book. okay, maybe a ballpen cos you'll never know when you need to write! like when an emergency situation comes around that requires writing. like, uhm, weeeell. a ballpen is a staple item in my bag.

so here's yet another attempt to create a "progressive" reading list. course, knowing me (and this blog's to-do curse). i'll just stare at them.

on second thought, i'll just tell you when i've read one. haha

time for chuck! >:D
hi! i just finished downloading the last 2 episodes of Chuck (thank you, thank you, torrent) and also changed my layout into a girly pastelish sort. i like the colors! >:D

anyway. Chuck. season two was awesome! so awesome, i couldn't think of any series that could compete with it. i mean, how many american series have i watched anyway? IT'S THE BEST SERIES EVER CREATED! i laughed, cried and got my feelings involved too much. it was simply awesome!
season 4 is still on the run and by the looks of it, i think i can finish season 3 before the 4th ends on TV . SOOO, there's a lot of waiting happening in the future. sad. >:\

haay boring week. nothing like Chuck and Harry Potter to cheer me up.

PS: i'm not going anywhere with my diet. i'm still fat. >:S