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dramaramarama

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i told my parents i was resigning and they both beamed up. finally i can visit the hospital to get my ever so aggravating allergies checked. finally i can enroll at driving school. finally i can get an appointment at DFA. finally i can accept freelance projects. finally i can swim everyday. finally.


it seems like i was robbed of the time i need for myself ever since i started juggling work and school together. honestly, it wasn't a hard job, my studies were consistently okay, and my job wasn't a hindrance to it. maybe i was too engrossed with earning money. it was quite addictive. when i got my first salary i couldn't wait for the next one. being idle and cashless has grown into a fear which caused me to hold on to anything that sustains me monetarily. which, right now, is my job as a student assistant at the college library.

i love being around books. i enjoy shelving them in order. i enjoy troubleshooting with network problems. i enjoy being of assistance to people who're looking for books. i love my co-SA's (WAHAHA). i don't mind carrying heavy objects. but i hate my boss.

anyhow, i'm pretty sure she doesn't want me there anymore either. and i don't want to give her the satisfaction of firing me before i can even file my resignation. but wait. i'm not sure yet. if i lose this job i'm gonna be broke for months indefinitely until i get a new (and hopefully better) job. and i hate being broke for a long time. 

i'm not sure where this entry is leading to. i want to buy a dvd of He's Beautiful and run a marathon with a pint of selecta coffee crumble ice cream. i want to subscribe to DSL to be able to stream anime/tv series/movies.

Dear Lord. i want to meet my soulmate now. soulmate po a, hindi boyprend. >:| nakakaiyak walang mapagbuhusan. and it's not like i'll easily open up just because someone's willing to listen. truth is, there are people who are always willing to listen to me. but either they're too far away, they wouldn't understand, or i don't trust them enough. SUPER SORRY. haynako ayokong mag-emoemohan by saying i'm so fucking aloooone. kasi feeling ko i'm being unfair to my friends who are always there. masakit kaya yon. to be regarded as someone distant right when you're so near. ewan. 

wala akong mapagkatiwalaan dito.


but the good thing is, i laugh every day. it's a blessing that i'm always laughing, i wasn't like this at LB. e kasi naman dito, there's always something to laugh about. WAHAHAHA sarreh.


i can't stop being mean. i'll try to contain it, promiiiiise. >:)