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tagged on FB and is answering here because. 

The Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen fictional characters (television, films, plays, books, video games) who've influenced you and that will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Tag at least fifteen friends, including me, because I'm interested in seeing what characters my friends choose.




1. Dennis - Ghost Fighter
2. Harry Potter
3. L - Death Note
4. Chuck Bartowski - Chuck
5. Lucas - One Tree Hill
6. Shikamaru - Naruto
7. Ulquiorra - Bleach
8. Edward - Full Metal Alchemist
9. Luffy - One Piece
10. Shepherd - The Alchemist
11. Yang Guo - Down with Love
12. Sendoh - Slam Dunk
13. Travis Parker - The Choice
14. Andrew Martin - Bicentennial Man
15. Kate McGregor - Master of the Game


apprently it took me an hour. >:\
uhm, i found this document while cleaning my hard disk. this was a completion requirement for my Basic Organic Chemistry class some 2 years ago. i thought it sounded smart, but the actual experimentation was a wreck, so just bear with this short discussion of how we produced aspirin, artificially. oh yeah, this is for bragging purposes. HAHAHA

i couldn't believe i was able to write something like this.
was i?

Results and Discussion

       To form acetylsalicylic acid, a mixture of salicylic acid and acetic anhydride is needed. To hasten the reaction, we added 85% phosphoric acid (catalyst) and heated the mixture in a steam bath to increase the solubility of salicylic acid and increase the rate of reaction. Water was added to provide medium for further nucleophilic substitution. Heating the reaction mixture and addition of water ionizes acetic acid in water for the removal of the products to attain equilibrium. Heating favored the forward reaction. The mixture was cooled to complete the recrystallization process. 

       Since the mixture is cold, suction filtration method was carried out to separate the filtrate from the residue which contains the crystallized products. Upon air drying the residue, we separated a small amount of the crude product for melting point determination and recrystallized the rest by dissolving it with diethyl ether then adding petroleum ether dropwise until cloudiness occurs. The mixture was then cooled in an ice bath to complete the recrystallization, then as usual, suction filtration was carried out to separate the recrystallized aspirin from the filtrate.

      We weighed out our recovered aspirin and got 11.9 g. Theoretically, there should only be a maximum of 2.61 g of aspirin recovered, but our data showed 455% yield. This could be accounted for so many errors made during the experiment; one could be incomplete drying, leading to a positive error. Another could be weighing errors, which in our case most probably led us to an enormous positive error. Also, there is a high chance that some impurities were not removed, and most likely it would be salicylic acid that would account for that.

      As for the melting point data, our crude sample got a range of 119-124˚C and our purified sample got a range of                  . Comparing it to the literature value of 134˚C, we can say that our purified sample is nearer the theoretical value, but since we got a range, it is most certain that our purified sample still contains contaminants.

      Since we weren’t able to conduct the characterization tests, here is a theoretical discussion of the differentiation tests:

      The FeCl3 test was positive for salicylic acid because it detected the presence of phenol in it. Ideally, for aspirin, it should be negative because there is no presence of a hydroxyl group attached to a benzene ring in its structure. KMnO4 test is used to detect the presence of 1˚ and 2˚ alcohols and phenols, in which case only salicylic acid garnered a positive result.

      The differentiation of commercially available aspirin from the recrystallized used 1mL of iodine and 2mL water. A brown-black liquid with white precipitate was observed on the commercialized aspirin whereas a red-orange liquid with white precipitate was observed on the other. The reaction of iodine with the commercialized aspirin only confirms the presence of a starch binder which is used in most tablet medicines in order to give its shape, as was characterized by the brown-black color change.

Summary and Conclusion

      Organic synthesis is the preparation of a desired organic compound from commercially available reagents. Its purpose is to produce a pure sample of the desired product in the most efficient and economical way possible.

      In this certain experiment we were able to produce aspirin via acid catalyzed nucleophilic acyl substitution.
      We have computed the theoretical yield of aspirin to be 2.61g only. Any deviation to this value could be accounted as errors and must be improved by further recommendations. The melting point of aspirin is 134˚C. Having a range as a melting point value indicates the presence of impurities. The most common impurity that would be incorporated in the final product would be salicylic acid, that is why there’s a need to differentiate the starting material from the end product, to know whether we’ve produced the desired product and not the starting material.

      This experiment is a good introduction to synthesizing. Through this we have learned the essence of organic synthesis and its importance in our daily lives.

------------
maybe the writing is to brag for. i mean, on the bloody technical level, yes. the intimidating jargon. i don't even remember them. but if you actually read it, you'll see how bad it went. see?


btw. i'm contemplating on which bug annihilation process to employ for this laptop. ther're ants inside. my options are:


1) vacuum/blow dry the damn motherboard. but i need screwdrivers for this
2) spray some crazy bug repellant, just to annoy them and have them scurrying out of my buddy
3) bring it to a technician and let him do the cleaning but i think that's gonna cost more. :(


i could do all three, but hi funds! where are you?
the thought of an ant colony present in this laptop is troubling me. so far there are only red ants. no soldiers and drones yet, hopefully no queen. and no crumb carrying marchers. oh God, help me. i'm not financially fit to replace this thing yet. 
i have a cousin who died from his sleep. the last thing he did was a have a drink with his friends, with balut as pulutan. i didn't know it could kill, so i'm sayin this as a precaution. he's only 26.

rest in peace kuya caloy. God bless your soul.

>:'''(



change topic.

ah napapansin pala nila yon. naiinis kaya sila?? iniisip ba nila, sino ba tong panget na to?! haha alam ko. bahala sila mag speculate. hindi ko naisip na maraming makakapansin pero oh well. buhay buhay lang yan. naglalabasan na sila o, andame pala. lakas mo talaga. me ganon din kaya sakin? taena. bat kaya hindi? bat kaya wala? yung iba nga pag ganon, yun na yun e. pero sakin hindi e. lahat sila ganon ang tingin. napapangiti na lang ako. kaso nga hindi e. kaso nga ba? o sayang? ayoko na isipin.

muntik na nga pala ko mamatayan

ng kuko, buti na lang from bluish dead, naging recovering blue na sya. e kasi naman, mahina na pala yung brakes ng bisikleta ko, kaya nung umuwi ako, di ako makahinto. i ended up taking a u-turn pero mukang napalaki ang trinavel kong radius at gutter ang sumalubong sakin. tumilapon ako patagilild! buti na lang madamo. wala akong ibang sugat kundi yung masakit kong kuko sa paa na nakipaghalikan sa malamig na semento.

BTW. JM. HAHAHA close na talaga kami! pwede na yon! enonaman kung alam nya? at least di sya lumayo, in fact, lumapit pa nga. hahaha
I"M GOING TO STUDY NOW >:D

you probably never noticed but i've done a lot of sacrifices for you. little ones, yeah, but they're still a lot. and it kinda hurts that i'm just one out of the many girls who have a place in your heart. whom you can miss anytime, flirt with anytime, and call in a jiffy. come to think of it, i was never anyone special am i? i'm just someone who happens to be online when you are. just someone whom you spent a couple of months joking around with. nothing special. no one special. what right do i have to demand anything from you? none. roight. i never expected anything in the first place, because i know i wouldn't be getting what i expected from you. you're someone who breaks all expectations, who's more concerned with making good impressions, and who leave girls in a detrimental state of speculation.

i'm such a fool, thinking that maybe there is something. something more. but of course that's just me and my teen-flick saturated imagination. the truth is, i'm just like each an every one of your girl friends. i just insisted on adding something special to it so i'd be a rank higher than them, but honestly, there isn't anything special with me and you, and with the way you are with me. it's all my imagination. all a fruit of an overflow of creative juices. love really clouds human rationality a lot.

so maybe it's time to give up. time to give up thinking about you. time to quit making sacrifices. time to quit making our ends meet. we aren't for each other. we never were, in the first place. it's just me, and my seemingly hyperactive neurons making things up. we're never getting there. i thought you're the one, but that's quite an injustice to the number system. why can't i just think you're a regular friend whom i have no obligations with? whom i can hate and make up with anytime. that's how you see me anyway.

oooohkay. this is because i stalk too much. so you know, those really unsolicited information gets the bigger impression.

this is so pathetic. i put it under a cut to track the IP's of those who actually read this.

PS: you know what's ticking me off? you use the exact same words to ALL of them. how does that set me apart from them??? i'm supposed to be different from them all. i'm your self-proclaimed @#$%^&*UI() for crying out loud and you treat me just like how you treat your fucking flings. i ain't one of them. i hate it.

GOOOOODBYE.
>:|

PS2: of course we're still %$#@!$%^&*( friends.
LSS with Christina Grimmie and Sam Tsui's version of Just a Dream by Nelly (search it up on youtube).

anyway. my time's up, i should be heading out of duty, but... duty calls in! i'm currently watching over mam Sano's ITC-14 class. they're taking a quiz, i'm facebooking, and later imma do some class evaluations. ALL OFF DUTY. but i don't mind really. i've never really done anything extremely taxing so no harm doing all these. it's not like they're additional tasks. besides, i'm bored.

i have a friend who claims she doesn't miss anyone. i mean, she doesn't have that feeling of missing someone. is that even possible? isn't the mere recollection/reminscing process an indication of missing someone/something? my guess is, she knows how to miss someone, but she's not very vocal about it. or maybe she has it deep inside but she's in denial. i wish i could tell this to her but i'm afraid we're not that close. anyhow, just my two cents. missing someone is a natural feeling. everybody misses somebody. i know cos i do. and of course it doesn't apply only to those who are romantically attached.

i found out something about Sun Cellular's Flexi 50 promo. when the promo has expired and you haven't used up the entire 50 pesos, the remaining balance will revert to being a regular load! NOW THAT'S COOL. i thought, when the time's up and i wasn't able to finish my 50 bucks in 5 days, Sun's gonna eat it all up. Like the rest of the globe. HAHAH pun intended! go figure.

oryt. later! >:)

why does this day have to be so full of you? i knoooow, you're so past the majorcrush stage you've actually turned into someone i love. and i must admit, i'm trying to suppress the feeling. uhm but  i also know for a fact that doing so doesn't really do so. so sometimes i just let things remind me of you, it's not like it happens voluntarily haha but it happens a lot, so that's quite a problem. or not. you're like an intersect, everything i flash on extracts memories of you. i don't really intend to sound like i'm so love sick, but i guess that's the best way to describe me right now. minus the sick thing. cos even though i'm sick, it's not because of love. i hope i'm not being cheesy. argh.

anyway. i suddenly regret always pretending to be unaffected with your ''endeavors with women''. the truth is, i hated each and every one of them. except for the first girl you told me about, cos we come along pretty well. but the others. no. way. maybe because i don't know them personally. but you know. if i could be totally honest with you i'd tell you how ugly it is for a guy to hook up with so many girls successively and in short intervals. i hated you a lot because of that. he.he.he.he.he.he.


i don't know if you'll be able to read this. it's been a while and i wonder if you still go here. 


cheese alert.
so i'll just keep you in my heart, and do nothing. unless. >:|
anyway, i've got Yeorim as a majorcrush, so i've got someone to stare at. actually, i've managed to plot out his MTH schedule already. sorry. can't help it.
what if there exists a world or a city so high-tech that money is practically virtual and no cash is being printed. it's a world where money is accounted in real-time and everything is balanced. money, in the form of digital signals, numbers, stuuuufff, is distributed in virtual accounts.  if you earn, someone loses. and vice versa. idk if that works but printing too much cash is economically degrading. so why not make money virtual? this way, you don't have to count everything on your till and audit manually. i mean, it's like obliterating cash and replacing them with debit cards. 

next.
warning: if you don't watch Chuck, you'll be lost.

another thought. so Chuck has been highly engrossing me these days so i thought, what if we create intersects not with government top secrets encrypted into images, BUT with, say Chemistry related stuff? we could make a chip for Chemistry, another for Math, another for Physics, for Law, for COMPUTER SCIENCE... you know, just those really theoretical fields (uhh, i guess everything is, anyway). cos basically it offers knowledge upon flashing on a trigger. so, if i see a coffee bean i'll flash everything about coffee, caffeine, yeah. 

and then, we could sell it for a million grand. it's a technology so advanced i could only imagine it in movies. imagine if i had a Chemical Engineering chip, when i open it all the encrypted images that has to do with chemistry will be downloaded in my brain. then i could flash on an image of Bohr and know everything about his atomic theory. then again, it works only with a trigger. but it's still goooood. i'd buy that, if it exists. 

but you know, coming from the series itself, the process of "intersecting" requires a highly capable brain. probably an IQ greater than or equal to genius. consequences have been made clear in the series that if a bunch of dimwits gets intersected, they go straight to the asylum, or in a coffin, whichever works. so i perceived that a mental test is necessary before proceeding to the purchase of the intersect. 

so in short, these chips are only for rich, smart (or lucky) people. that's discrimination, the smart gets smarter and the dumb goes insane. uhm, this is a flop. i'm not gonna earn from this. this item isn't marketable but the concept is fun. haha

i have another!!!!
so the hadron collider was made to help answer fundamental questions about physics, perhaps about how the world came about... BY inducing a collision using a particle accelerator. hopefully this will lead them to theorize more about the big bang? or the genesis? however they wanna do it, smashing two protons together in ultra-mega-high speed hoping to split it and confirm the presence of a much smaller unit of matter... is really cool and is boring holes in my brain. i'm not making sense.

so dear scientists, since you're ardy too cool, once you've done all your research and experiments using this mega expensive and huge facility (the collider, yes), is it possible to recreate the big bang in a small vacuum and develop a miniature universe? since it's a mini-universe, you could be a mini-God. 

hey. what if, this universe that we're in is just a mini-universe from someone's mini-vacuum from some mini-God's experiment?! and the theory stretches on to eternity. and well, that's scary. that's almost limbo.

ok. God bless us tomorrow. i don't know a thing.
honestly, my 20th was just a regular day. no heavy anticipation or anything. maybe because there's nothing more i could ask for. i have a very supportive family devoid of any stressful issues, i have friends who make me laugh everyday, i have a job so to speak, and i'm doing well with my studies. aside from material stuff, what more could i ask for? i'm not deprived of the good things in life. i may not have everything. but i've got everything i need. 

well for the most part i just watched my wall get flooded with greetings. come midnight and the wall posts are pouring in, by the end of the day i've got 150+. That's all, that's what i did the entire day. i spent it like a regular holiday. 

during the morning we came to my auntie's gravesite. She died on my birthday 4 years ago, and every year we go pay a visit and eat breakfast there with our relatives. >:)

we had spaghetti but i told mom to just send it to the neighbors and my cousins rather than invite them it, LOL bad time to be anti-social but i'm in no mood to entertain. i didn't know what tired me, but i slept the entire afternoon off.

now that i'm 20, my friends are telling me that i should get a boyfriend. i don't know. i can't even tell if a guy is interested. i tend to avoid guys who are leaning too close, specially when i don't have (or can't envision having) special feelings for them. the closest i have to a boyfriend is a bestfriend, but of course, that's still totally far off. just sayin. >:) back when i still lived in LB, we used to discuss about our ideal guys, and my housemates would, after rationalizing, conclude that i just needed a bestfriend, not exactly a boyfriend. i still agree, yknow. though i don't think that still holds. i want a bestfriend, that's just mine. possesive! bwahaha like a boyfriend yeah, but that's a bit too scary for me. err idk.

i mean. uhm. i kinda developed trust issues after finding out stuff about my friends. now i can't just tell anyone about my secrets anymore. which is, you know, just me and my crushes. HAHA

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIAN! >:)
hey, we're bestfriends but we only have, like 2 pictures together. one of which i am posting here lol


yeah. i miss sorely miss hanging out with you. you're the only person i could trust talking about my crushes with. it's a pain not to have someone like that nearby. everyone here blabs, and while i have no evidence that you do too, the fact that you're a guy probably makes the suspicion less.

i have a new majorcrush and i badly want to share it with you. >:((((( other than that, i miss you!





it's sort of like my favorite exercise right now. you know, biking! every afternoon i look forward to going around the subdivision to get a good sweat. well, i prefer biking in the morning cos i sweat harder with the sun but since i've got no time, the aft is okay. >:) 

so yesterday while doing rounds around the sub, i got chased by a dog. hahaha but i managed to stress myself enough to make me cycle faster. it was fucking barking at the humps. what a strategic place to wait for me. 

anyway. 


can i say something about the field trip? i know it wasn't worth 1,200 and the itinerary wasn't even met halfway. BUT I HAD FUN. i was complaining about the dullness of the tour and all the unsolicited side trips, but then i never expected it to be worth it in the first place. i came there for the subject incentives and my friends. and i believe that that's already worth 1,200. seeing that 5 of my subjects are throwing project incentives for it, that's like paying 240 per project. not bad. but that only works for people like me who joined for the same reason, which is what? 90% of the attendees. so really now, how can you complain like the trip was a total waste? surely that's worth, give or take, 20% of your final gradeS. i don't mind paying 1,200 for that. which isn't to say that the trip was worth it. LOL

well if you're gonna take it on the whole "field trip" perspective, it surely wasn't worth it. sure there were flaws, A LOT actually. but lemme tell you this, everybody knows that. so there's totally no need to RUB IT IN FURTHER (LOL i could only hope i'm not being ironic here). even the organizers know that. i can assure that everybody joined WITHOUT expectations, so why complain like you expected a lot?

here's what i can vouch for. NO ONE EXPECTED THE TOUR TO BE FUN (at least outside the bus). and if i may negate that, EVERYONE EXPECTED THE TOUR TO BE NOT FUN. and guess what, our expectations were met! so what's all the ruckus about.

if there's anyone who should complain, it should be those who expected the other way around hahahaha.

nothing really. just watching along the sidelines.
but you know what's ticking me off? see title above.

not taking sides cos i have friends on both parties. just trying to stay objective. on the bus level, i had fun. everyone did. that's probably the best that happened. and it's something to be thankful for.
i was trying to hypnotize myself to sleep by watching a vid at youtube but got too scared at the comments, so many people are asking if a monster is gonna pop out and scream somewhere in the video. i'm tired of that kind of sick joke. i hate anything scary. i haven't started the video and i don't think i could ever start with it. it's 8 fucking minutes long, it's supposed to make me sleep but the comments made me more awake. there's so much fear in me. OTL

ever since i got tricked into watching vids with scary screaming monster popping at the end, i always check the time span of the video before loading it. if it's <= 30 secs. chances are, a monster's gonna scream the hell out of you (or most likely, me). same goes for a picture wanting you to look closer to find a hidden item in it. they're all the same. they're all monsters. 

i'm gonna watch chuck.

you know, i've been eating too much ice cream lately. i'm not even depressed. i'm trying to get thinner. but oh well. >:|



uhh, finally i decided to move to sun. globe has been good to me, as far as keeping in touch with friends is concerned. however, it eats up a lot of my money. and the signal is really bad in our home.

with sun, i can save a lot. never mind if most of my friends use Globe. i'll use sun cos it's practical.

tomorrow, we'll be having a field trip at subic. this one day trip cost me 1,200 and the agenda isn't even half the fun compared to 500 @ E.K. i'm counting on the BUS ride tho. you know, i had to make stressful arrangements just to organize our bus so that all of my friends are in the same bus, in the their preferred seating arrangements. it stressed me out really. i don't appreciate strangers asking to change places. they piss me off.

and RA?! my favorite laughing mate isn't sure to come. she's supposed to be my seatmate! i'm looking forward pa naman to a lot of tawanan. but oh well. >:''(( why.
osya. yaman din lamang na magbe-bente na ko. eto wishlist ng taong walang pera. >:)

1) shempre CASH.

2) Harry Potter Book Set. mga 2,600 - 3,000. parang ganun! 1 to 7 ah! >:D

3) PENS! NOTEBOOKS!

4) Bayaran nyo SmartBro ko, kahit 1 month, 1K! >:D

5) RARE: 2006 Fifa World Cup Lanyard: GERMANY BLACK
dahil hindi ako maka-get over nung nawala sya. >:( kasi naman e. lintik na chix yan.

6) 0.4mm Pilot Frixon Pen Refil

7) Bike lock >:)

8) well, CASH is preferred above all else HAHAHAHA

>:)
OMG LOL
remember D? we don't know each other personally BUT just awhile ago, something happened that led me to actually speak to him. not in a friendly friend way though. thing is my friend found something that belongs to him, and when he was looking for it i was the one in charge so i ushered him to the guard BLAH BLAH BLAH. i couldn't get over it. seriously. he was too thankful. ♥♥♥

when my friend brought out the lost item, i knew it belonged to someone in their class cos they used the room where it was found. i sorta hoped that it would be his but dismissed the thought cos, what are the chances, really? i didn't expect it tho. i really didn't.

i didn't even get the chance to tidy myself up. what a shame.

this is too cool. of all the people who could own the thing, it happened to him! my majorcrush (as of 2nd tri, 2010)!!!! and to think that he just confirmed me at FB! wow. this is getting real. >:) he's finally going to smile for me! you know, as acquaintances. or like, as a gesture of gratitude for finding his valuable. well, technically, i wasn't the one who found it but i asked my friend for permission to give me full credit for finding the thing because i needed his "attention" more. uhm.

anyway. it's not like we're finally friends. hahaha
i'm just too happy.
is made of awesome

shared a plateful of this with my friends yesterday, in celebration of my bestfriend's birthday! she treated us to TGIF. haha first time to eat there, THE SALAD WAS AWESOME. well, the dressing was!! it was sortofa mix of lemon, lemon grass, pepper, vinegar, and something else. nakaka-adik. i could eat JUST that for an entire month if it's not too expensive. wish i could improv but the dressing is to die forrrrr. >8D

photo courtesy of my friend, inez. >:)



honestly. when i'm with my highschool friends, i feel stupid, and poor. i couldn't catch up with them. with their ostensibly intelligent sense of humor, their pasosyal ways. i SOMETIMES feel like i don't belong anymore. i sometimes can't get used to it. gaaaawd, social standards, just because we all came from an exclusive for-rich catholic highschool. i wonder if i'll become like them in the future, seemingly rich and oozing with sophistication. then again, as long as i'm rich who cares if i don't look like one. that's less the trouble of being scrutinized.

UPLB corrupted my standards. FERN fucked it.
you know what. when i got home from church, i slept and dreamt about school. err, i'm not sure, but there was JM, and other people my subconscious didn't recognize (or didn't pay attention to). D also appeared in my dream, and when he looked at me, MY DAD WOKE ME UP FOR LUNCH.

OTL

i almost thought it was real. >:|

yesss. i know how to ride a bike now. including making turns! uhm, and u-turns! gawd. i like rode for 2 hours around the subdivision and ended up with sore legs and bloody ankles. i can't get used to meeting cars on the road. i slow down and end up knocking the gutter. i think the brakes are too soft. and the the steering thing (well, it's not a wheel) isn't pantay. whatever. but look! my bike is awesome!!! the seat is low and it has a basket! like in korean movies! LOL thank you mommy and daddy! i thought i'm gonna miss out on this essential ability. >:D

then you know, after the two-hour mega exhausting exercise, my sister treated me to pizza, salad, pasta and ice cream. i really didn't want to eat a lot but she was like, "salad? why are you starving yourself?"

i'm fucking not starving myself. you just eat way too much. @_@

ever since i subscribed to smartbro, i became more thrifty and frugal. cos you know, i have to pay 1K a month. i don't want to run out of funds right when the bill has arrived. i now prefer walking than anything else cos of course, it's a good exercise and i can save a lot. i don't yearn for cheeseburger anymore than i used too. and i've kinda grown tired of chicken balls too. my recent craving would be selecta coffee crumble ice cream, but it's easy to suppress given that it's not cheap and translates to too much weight gain. LOL

i've never been this successful in guilt-tripping myself.
let's see how far i can go with this one. 

btw, D accepted my facebook friend request. for some odd reason. i don't think he's someone who adds people he doesn't know but anyway we have 32 mutual friends. it's enough right? LOL then brian told me how he has always been with us during the previous tri's but i never noticed cos i was sorta over-fixed at JM. arggh. why did i never notice? bri was like, 'there were times you were sitting beside each other' and mentally i wanted to yell at him for not even introducing me!

how could i not have noticed? what a tragedy. he's way cuter than JM, seriously! he's taller and HE WEARS GLASSES and he played in the varsity and uhm. nothing else. FOR NOW.
come. on.

you know me. >;)

anyway, i can't get over it. he confirmed me. maybe he remembers me? i think? i wish? PLEASE?! fine.

oh, awhile ago kinda sucked. i couldn't stand the silence between JM and i. he was reading and i was just sitting there, pretending to text. well, i was texting bon and dan, i told them how much i suck at THIS. nothing came from me, occasionally he'll speak then i'll respond but knowing myself, i couldn't have stretched that conversation any further. i suck so much. when bon came out of the room, i excused myself and followed him. I JUST FUCKING COULDN'T STAND IT. i'm a total twerp. it's okay if we're three, but it's just the two of us. i ranted about it. carl was there and he was laughing at me. i know, if i were someone else i'd laugh at myself too. a childhood crushing complex at 20? absurrrrd. i came out and he was gone. LOL

i dunno. i was talking to dan about it and he sorta made me realize MORE that i've wasted so many chances. i know. i never change do i? i still can't handle myself properly with these kind of people. i do like him but i'm afraid i'll turn out to be an extremely boring partner. i couldn't even respond to an instant message without sounding totally uninterested. argh.

i wish he knows this side of me. you know, so that he won't think i hate him or something.
oh right. he knows everything. he probably knows how my inner organs panic when he's withing 10 meters.

what a provoking jerk.

this day i realized that while there are things that are meant to be yours -- things that will just come to you naturally, things that the universe conspired to give you -- the real pleasure lies in acquiring something that you know you deserve, without the cosmos handing it over to you as grace, you know, things that you counter-flowed for. there are things worth fighting for. it's not always fate working its way to give you what you want or least expect. it's not all about waiting, searching for signs and wishing the universe would agree to what your heart says. sometimes you have to exercise your authority over your life, stop waiting for the cosmic fabric to fucking conspire, bend it to your will. cos when it does, the waiting stops. the world is yours. remember that a blessing is different from a reward. one is free, the other isn't. we begin to see that there's so much more we could own if learn to realize how well we deserve the certain things the world didn't serve for us in a platter. i'm talking about the more powerful things in life like power and money. you earn these things. they don't apparate like your soulmate. conflict, maybe, when you think it's not meant for you. well, you don't stop there. you don't stop by acknowledging that you don't deserve what's not meant for you. argh. mojo lost.
HAHAHA

below is something i doodled while studying for networking. >:) it turned out quite a bishounen so i'm posting it here! wahahaha!

good news. i just applied for smartbro postpaid. that's 999 a month. whew. time to cut off MORE on expenses and, well, earn MORE. haha

another good news. my parents bought me a BIKE as an advanced birthday gift! i'm finally gonna be able to learn how to ride on one! HAHAHA loser much but yeah, that's about how boring my childhood was.

something bad. i was eating pizza 3am this morning and a part of my molar chipped off! and i thought i just bit on an accidental pebble on my pizza but it turned out it was my teeth! fucking sheeez. that's a friggin molar! i'm not even sure if it's an entire molar or a just fraction of it. it sure feels awkward having a toothless gap. T_T; whyyy??? but i brush twice a day? right. not enough. i know. hmm, this could be helpful to my diet! i can't eat ice cream now! uhm, yeheeey?!

DQ is such a fucking temptation. why did it have to be closer?! i remember wishing for SMF to have one, and now that is has one... arggggghhhh. next, YOSHINOYA please. >:)