april glory

i forgot to post this before. it's pretty crappy cos it's dark hehe. but that's UPLB during april. it's the fall season of the "cotton" tree. the white spots you see on the ground are those cotton like buds that spring off from that certain tree. haha it's not really cotton. just cotton-like. haha and every april? IT'S EVERYWHERE!!! causes a lot of allergies actually but the scene is amazing.

it's pretty picturesque in real life, you know, green field littered with snow-white cotton buds, then the statue of oblation.

i miss UPLB. >:(

ah, it's almost 3am but i'm not sleepy cos i slept the entire morning and afternoon off. hahaha >:D

white flag up!

// the gown came in this morning. it's okay naman. kinda loose. more adjustments pa. hahaha

// i'm giving up with the java project. my brain has completely liquefied already and has seeped out from my nose. ayoko na. stuck with: populating a double array with tokens.

// i added a new widget from response-o-matic. it's like formspring, only... you don't have to open a new page for it. i remember using it years back but removed it... anyway. go ask? lol, what the hell is bandwagon doing to me. hahaha. and i was thinking, why do you need to register for it when you can create your own form? it's just freaking html. roight. hassles.

// i dreamt about something scary yesterday afternoon before i got up to attend my mathlog exam. it goes like this:
setting: maguindanao
so there's this short, white, curly-haired and mustached media man who is surrounded by murderers (the massacre guys, you know). he was shaking terribly, head bent down and hands clasped to a prayer. seconds later, he passed out, and fell back down on a puddle of water. bad guy 1 picked him up by the shirt and slammed him on a cement column. his head bled. then bad guy 1 started punching him on the gut, counting as he did so. he started at 1300!!!!!!!

which probably means he has already punched 1299 times before i got to the dream. i was crying already and out of utter nervousness, i woke up... not knowing where and who i was in the scene... whether i was a media man... or one of the bad guys, or just a witness (but i was too close though) or.. i dunno. T__T;; a nightmare, apparently. still gives me the chills. T_____T

madami pa akong panaginip!!!


// dream #2: awhile ago... maybe in the morning? i'm not sure.
i dreamt that i was playing a grand piano with super heavy keys and lots of foot pedals. i was trying to play River Flows in You by Yruma.

// dream #3: this afternoon. i dreamt about my bestfriend, brian. >:(
in that dream, i got mad daw that he's leaving na. so i walked out and crossed the street (i don't know where). for some reason, i was limping and caused traffic because i walk so slow daw. haha i was making para the jeepneys so they won't hit me. hahaha then i sat on a bench outside a shop (ewan ko rin kung anu yon) and put my legs up. pilay daw ako at hindi makalakad. weird. aaand umpe was laughing at me. hahaha tnx?

then he followed me across the street to tend to my pilay. he brought two cold damp cloths and put in on my legs. galit parin daw ako. oha. >:)))))) o tapos my dad came to fetch me and i walked ayaw na ulit. he said bumalik daw ako libre daw nya ko banana-q. i didn't answer.

when i came to the car, we left immediately, so ittext ko dpat sya na di na ko bbalik. but we kinda met a car accident daw. like we bumped into something on the road edi ninerbyos ang lola mo, tapos gising na ko.

WAHAHAHA

// dream #4: i dreamt about my crush!!!! maiksi lang naman, he just walked in front of me. YUN LANG!!! well, yun lang naalala ko. haha i dreamt about him days ago pero all i remember is him writing my name on a mug... tapos jomari yllana was also there. malay ko ba. hahaha

sorry na

our prof wanted to talk to us about the 'sorting' part of our project. apparently he can't understand the logic of mergesort or whatever it is that mika did. actually, i don't understand it either, which makes things worse cos he's now 100% sure that someone else did our project because the coding is too 'advanced'. actually, i can justify that by saying that i never applied anything he taught us and everything you see there is the fruit of my tireless research. last night i was studying string tokenizer and pretty much got how it works, then i prayed to God that hopefully, our prof asks about string tokenizer instead of the mergesort (cos i don't get it). but he fucking wants us to explain the logic of the godamn sorting code, so we're dead and have to RE-DO the entire thing.

not exactly the entire thing but essentially it is, because i have to touch everrrrything in order to get what's gonna happen next. expect me to be awake for the next 6 hours or more.

you know what, i was unimpressed with his reaction. of all people, he should know how mergesort works and the logic behind it. it's not something exclusive only to atenean cs studs. it's okay if he asks me about it and i tell him the truth just to prove that i didn't do the project, but i can't accept it that the reason he called us is because he doesn't understand and needs us to explain it to him. he even said my friend (who did the work) loves a lot of drama cos there's a completely EASIER way of sorting (namely, the fucking bubble sort aka the-sorting-key-for-average-programmers).

ok, so i can't ask help from my atenean cs friends now cos apparently they're too advanced? gaaawd, that sounds like our school is so pathetic (or our faculty incompetent?). sorry. super sorry.

will do the project now. >:D

frankly speaking, i'm excited to DO it... from scatch. there's a certain fulfillment that goes with learning something on your own. especially programming.

Lord, bless me on this.

on the other hand, i find myself contradicting our mathlog teacher... quite a lot of times (mentally though). and i only consult about 20% of my doubts with her. why do i feel like there's something wrong? like... it's not conventional? whenever i feel doubtful about her lessons, i consult with jec and adrian first before i bring the matter to her. there are times when we three all agree that there's something vague with the definition she gave us, but she'll insist and explain it again, then i still won't get it. and so i'll just temporarily overwrite that part of my brain that screams "THAT'S NOT HOW IT SAYS IN THE OTHER BOOK!!!!" and i would feel uncomfortable about it because it feels like i'm being fed wrong information. that's like the worst feeling as a student, being taught something you know is theoretically wrong, but for the sake of a class convention (and a high grade), i would bend to it. fucking sad life, it is.

i feel so weird about my life right now. i feel scared that i'm starting to protest about academics this way like i'm some genius who knows everything. but the thing is, her top students agree with me (count me in). it sucks because i hate losing faith with our faculty because my learning relies on them. and you know, i want to learn so much. >:( i also want to get into the dean's list but my status won't let me. last time i checked i can only get 5 subjects next term. :(

crush talk: it's our last filione meeting and i forgot to do our project. hahaha i came to school and checked the room and he's already there but i fucking can't come in cos he's the only one there. nyeee. but i'm happy! on count, today is the day we talked the most. like... more than 1 sentence. mga 2!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHA first is when he asked me the coverage of our exam. and second is when i was typing our project outside on a comp shop, he bent and said something like, "di mo pa nagagawa yung project?" sorinaman diba??? HAHAHAHA

=__=;

// haaay. java prog finals sucked big time! >:(

// on the other had, i saw my crush so i'm ok! my friends think there's something fishy going on already, how would i know? i'm too busy looking at him (from afar) to notice if he's looking at me too. that's for my friends to observe. LOL i'm cool with one-sidedness, it's not like i'm hoping for something. duuuh, i might end up passing another frakking chance, so better not show it to me in the first place.

// sir marquez wants to talk to us about our project. sorry, but i kinda hate what you did DAN. i'm afraid he's gonna ask about why our codes look so fucking identical. good thing our prof knows who copied from who. now, i'm scared cos i didn't really do our project, MIKA did. so i have to die studying the whole thing TONIGHT (right when i have two exams tomorrow) cos every method she did wasn't introduced properly to me. key: string tokenizer && mergesort.

// i might actually end up re-doing the entire thing just to make myself understand the whole frakking block of codes. i hate arrays.

// no. i don't hate arrays. i just wasn't taught properly about it.

throws IOException

yes! it's finally the last corpo day!!! no more planning on what to wear every monday!! yeheeey! :D

// thanks to mika, we have a project! >XD LOL i love you so much, if you're reading this, i owe you coffee next time we meet! i dunno, Planet 51? ALIENZZZZ!!! >XD >XD gawd, i love aliens. and cacti. don't ask me, i myself find it a mystery why i'm drawn to such... err, green creatures.

// awhile ago could've been more epic for me and my crush if i didn't have my friends around. see? i can't act normally if they're around, ready to tease me. even if they said they won't mind, thing is, I WILL -- and that alone changes everything. i wasn't able to even say hi cos i can't look at him, right when everyone around me is looking at him like 'yiiiieee. yan! crush mo o!!!' hmp. why are you so tall? you don't even dress properly. lol. and on top of that, you don't have freakin eyeglasses and and... sorry na. >:(

// my appetite is back. i find it unfortunate that i'm back to not being able to hold myself when i'm hungry. i buy everything that looks yummy without thinking if it could fit in my stomach. see, i just spent 200+ on dinner awhile ago. AND I WASN'T FULFILLED. i was full, but not fulfilled. there's a biiiig difference. full is when i dine in a cheap but scrumptious looking eat-all-you-can buffet and throw up afterwards. fulfilled is when i buy a mcsaver's meal at mcdonalds and take home lots of ketchup.

// i have three exams tomorrow. none of which i'm worrying about, except maybe java prog cos i'm afraid their finals are frakkin hard like last time (with c++). haaay.

// aaaah! i know what i want to learn now, MULTIMEDIA ARTS. damn. new dream course.

crash override ♥ acid burn

it's from the movie Hackers which i got from chamel. and old film starring angelina jolie as a hacker... who kinda looks like an alien with her make-up. but i still love her! she's looks so awesome as an i-come-in-peace alien. seriously. hehehe

anyway. java project update, anyone? still in fucking hell hole, my friends. when rogelio touches the keyboard and adds in the codes, i just go blank and think that i couldn't mess with his code lest everything crashes.  if you wanna see how messed up my life is right now, see this, just disregard the br's:

/*
* To change this template, choose Tools | Templates
* and open the template in the editor.
*/

package javaapplication6;

/**
*
* @author Compaq
*/
import java.io.FileInputStream;
import java.io.DataInputStream;
import java.io.InputStreamReader;
import java.io.BufferedReader;
import javax.swing.JOptionPane;
public class Main {

/**
* @param args the command line arguments
*/
private static final int STRING_NOT_FOUND = -1;
private static final String SEQ = "A";
private static final String ASC= "B";
private static final String DES= "C";
private static final String EXIT = "X";
private static final String VALIDCHOICES = SEQ + ASC + DES + EXIT;
private static final String MSG_INSTRUCTIONS =
"Welcome to the Final Grade Report Generator.\n\n" +
"Choose the Report you want to run:\n\n" +
"(a) Final Grades by Sequence\n" +
"(b) Final Grades from Highest to Lowest\n" +
"(c) Final Grades from Lowest to Highest\n\n" +
"(x) Exit\n\n" +
"Enter your choice here: \n";
//Message when the User enters an invalid choice
private static final String MSG_INVALIDCHOICE =
"Invalid choice.\n\n" +
"Valid choices are (a), (b), (c) and (x).\n\n" +
"Please click OK and try again.\n\n";
private static final String Exit =
"Thank You!";
private static final String DELIMITER = ":";
private static final int NDX_FIRSTNAME = 0;
private static final int NDX_LASTNAME = 1;
private static final int NDX_NUMBEROFNAMES = NDX_LASTNAME + 1;//2
private static final int NDX_NAMEORDER_01 = NDX_FIRSTNAME;//0
private static final int NDX_NAMEORDER_02 = NDX_LASTNAME;//1
private static final int NDX_MT = 0;
private static final int NDX_QA = 1;
private static final int NDX_FE = 2;
private static final int NDX_FG = 3;
private static final int NDX_NUMBEROFGRADES = NDX_FG + 1;//3
private static final int NDX_GRADEORDER_01 = NDX_MT;//0
private static final int NDX_GRADEORDER_02 = NDX_QA;//1
private static final int NDX_GRADEORDER_03 = NDX_FE;//2
private static String gDatastr;
private static int StartNdx = 0, EndNdx;
private static String Name[][] = new String [1][NDX_NUMBEROFNAMES];
private static double Grades[][] = new double[1][NDX_NUMBEROFGRADES];
private static final int Column = 14;
public static void main(String[] args){
String theChoice = GetUsersChoice();
if (theChoice.equals(SEQ)) {
ReadDataFromFileSetA();
}
else if (theChoice.equals(ASC)) {
ReadDataFromFileSetA();
}
else if (theChoice.equals(DES)) {
ReadDataFromFileSetA();
}
else if (theChoice.equals(EXIT)) {
JOptionPane.showMessageDialog(null,Exit);} 
else {
}
}
public static String GetUsersChoice() {
String theChoice;
boolean choiceIsValid = false;
do {
theChoice =
JOptionPane.showInputDialog(MSG_INSTRUCTIONS).trim().toUpperCase();
choiceIsValid = theChoice.length()== 1 &&
VALIDCHOICES.indexOf(theChoice)!= STRING_NOT_FOUND ;
if (choiceIsValid)
break;
JOptionPane.showMessageDialog(null, MSG_INVALIDCHOICE);
} while (true);
return theChoice;
}
public static void ReadDataFromFileSetA(){
String numStr;
String dataStr;
String fileStr;
int ktr;
try{
FileInputStream FIS_file = new FileInputStream("C:\\Users\\Compaq\\Desktop\\ab.txt");
DataInputStream DIS_file = new DataInputStream(FIS_file);
BufferedReader BR_file = new BufferedReader(new InputStreamReader(DIS_file));
for (ktr=0;ktr

i couldn't populate the arrays, i can probably sort but cannot take reference without fucking populating the arrays with data from the text file FIRST. and wait, did i tell you it was damn hard??? all my current program does is display the joption pane with the instructions, then READ the txt file. just damn READ and not sort... or anything else. now if our prof would be as kind to just give us an EASIER project, one that fits our tiny little brains. our school doesn't have enough geniuses! and our project is probably just his UCLA seatwork. maaan, i need more time and more lectures (more CLEAR LECTURES) on this. anyone help?

i want brownies. >:(

hello love!

of the 5 times i fell almost (but not quite cos i just fucking can't admit it to myself) in love, nothing ever happened. it's just me and my blog talking, me and my dormates giggling, and ultimately just ME. the reason why i can't label it as love is that... I FEEL THE SAME WITH EACH OF THEM, doesn't that make it less special? and love is supposed to be a unique feeling. something you don't feel with every other person whom you allegedly fall in love with. or am i just missing something that's supposed to be unique with each of them?

the way i feel with my majorcrush right now is exactly how i felt with ryan agoncillo 8 freakin years ago. it's also the same feeling i got with my 5 foot majorcrush 2 years ago. and nothing's different with my first ever college crush either, who faired top 2% in Math and Science during the UCPAT. so what gives? nothing.

sometimes i think love is an overstatement, or at least the way i perceive it to be. that's why i frakkin can't get out of my comfort zone and take risks. it's like, i won't enter into a non-serious relationship so i guess i'll just have to wait till i'm out of college so that the chances of meeting a young immature guy gets narrowed down. i admit it's a totally narrow view point but, yes, i am conservative. and also, i think the people around me are too young? or maybe i'm just too old. either way, they're still too young.

my psychology prof once said that college is a good marriage market. she may have said that because she's in UPLB, where, in terms of braincells, you won't have problems producing a smart child so the only thing you have to look for are other qualities like looks, # of cars, personality, lol.

but with me, intellect goes first on the list. and i can only look back at LB for probable prospects. sorry for being painstakingly prejudiced. but it's totally impressive if the guy is an intellectual who is good at math and has wide viewpoints on philosophy. just someone smarter than i am. i'm not that smart if you get to know me, really.