the plunge

everything from here on is downhill! i knew it would eat me alive, the amount of load i so boastfully accepted. see now? nasa huli talaga ang pagsisisi. let's just hope i don't get myself into a mess with the higher-ups with the remaining months i have to endure at school. stop me, Lord. stop me. i'm always complaining! but fuck the system. really, fuck the system. it's probably only because i'm at the bottom that i get to point my finger at people and blame them for my demise. i know i have no one else to blame but myself... for getting entangled in so many things at once: icon, cbs, studies, love... it screwed me. and it screwed me real good. not to mention that i probably didn't even act like a decent president. hi pride.

but come on, i totally have no idea how to cheer myself up. i've been awfully depressed since i saw my grades and every day, it gets worse. i dun even know why. it just gets worse! too much nega vibes. and it doesn't help that i'm back to 0 hours with my OJT since i quit fandom hahaha. anyhow. i've shelled out so much money just applying for jobs. i just want to get somewhere near and with allowance LOL.

oh btw. when i posted this, "it's easy to fall in love when you have nothing to lose" on fb, i didn't mean it the romantic way. i meant it the other way around. it's hard for me to decide on this because so much will be affected. which is why i envy those who could love with no limits. but i wonder about the kind of lives they live and kindof concluded that, oh that explains it. kindof but not quite. hehe

hey. i told myself not to engage in trouble because this year is so crucial for me but awhile ago i was so freaking enraged. i almost cried. seriously. why? they suddenly abolished SPECIAL CLASSES and replaced it with something exponentially more expensive. immediately and without prior notice at that. i dunno. i bet the heads weren't even briefed properly about it. on what grounds is it legal to implement a policy amendment IMMEDIATELY like, after a trimester? can't it wait a schoolyear? where were the announcements? sorry but this is bullcrap. i am so affected, even if i'm least likely to suffer about this. thing is, loads of hopeful graduates will not be able to march this coming may just because they cannot afford to enroll in a class that requires them to pay 15 times more. someone shed some light on this issue. pero wait, trabaho ko yata to e.

sana man lang may student dialogue or student representation na nagaganap every time may iaammend silang major policy sa palakaran ng administrasyon. eto nanaman ako. puro reklamo sa blog. yoko mabadshot sa taas eh, may mga pangarap pa ko. >:|

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