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should i blame myself?

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hey.. good afternoon.
now here's the topic...should you at least ponder on the lyrics of 'welcome to my life' by simple plan... that's where i'm jumping on... i mean the message.. not the real being-a-5th-wheel-person thing...

i'm tired.
i know not everyone are blessed with that popularity that makes you the fad icon or trend-setter in the campus... or maybe i'm just envious of those people who get along well with almost all sorts of people (not exactly all coz i'm out those ^^)

but hell. i feel awful when i'm alone. yes.. i'm a loner.. how many times do i have to tell that? but the feeling of socializing with other people makes me feel on the 3rd, 4th or 5th wheel.

that's why i feel soooo sooo damn out of place. i have another bestfriend, hannah, who is quite on the fam side. sometimes we bond (like awhile ago), but that sometimes means quite rare coz we're not given the time to bond like that. ^_^, pero lamo yun, wala lng... kakamiss

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eh basta.. nalalbuan na ko sa sarili ko.. i can't put THESE (thoughts) in words.. haahaaaaaa...
ah basta.. lam nyo ba yung feeling na ganun?
nyeee... bat ba ko nagdadrama.. basta... joke lng yung lahat ng yun..
ewan ko.. labo.-.-

in short. i don't want to be around with the COOL CROWD. kasi i'll just get intimidated. like awhile ago. they're talking about stuff, stuff, stuff.. they're happy... and they're the only batchmates i see around. pero i'm alone.. alone alone alone, sulking myself in romance comedy books by meg cabot.

maybe that's it. i just don't want myself to be alone in the corner while the others are packed on the other side.

pero what can i do? i tried to tag along with this two people (who're my friends) pero i ended up being on the 3rd wheel... so i left them for the book.

yeah.. bookworm.
i'm not sociable enough.
and i don't believe in sociable people... kasi if there's any, then i wouldn't be alone.
pero i know naman na being alone is a matter og choice.. pero basta. i said my point.

haha... in the end...
i really should blame myself.

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JUST NOW, i DON'T FEEL LIKE PUTTING THESE THINGS IN PUBLIC.
lam nyo kasi.. imbis na na bublurt out ko lahat ng TAONG galit na galit ako... i ended up BLIND ITEM-ing them.. kasi baka IBLAB ng iba dyan. -_-;;

wee.. check this picture... really nice!
by chocko