fated

this day i realized that while there are things that are meant to be yours -- things that will just come to you naturally, things that the universe conspired to give you -- the real pleasure lies in acquiring something that you know you deserve, without the cosmos handing it over to you as grace, you know, things that you counter-flowed for. there are things worth fighting for. it's not always fate working its way to give you what you want or least expect. it's not all about waiting, searching for signs and wishing the universe would agree to what your heart says. sometimes you have to exercise your authority over your life, stop waiting for the cosmic fabric to fucking conspire, bend it to your will. cos when it does, the waiting stops. the world is yours. remember that a blessing is different from a reward. one is free, the other isn't. we begin to see that there's so much more we could own if learn to realize how well we deserve the certain things the world didn't serve for us in a platter. i'm talking about the more powerful things in life like power and money. you earn these things. they don't apparate like your soulmate. conflict, maybe, when you think it's not meant for you. well, you don't stop there. you don't stop by acknowledging that you don't deserve what's not meant for you. argh. mojo lost.
HAHAHA

below is something i doodled while studying for networking. >:) it turned out quite a bishounen so i'm posting it here! wahahaha!

good news. i just applied for smartbro postpaid. that's 999 a month. whew. time to cut off MORE on expenses and, well, earn MORE. haha

another good news. my parents bought me a BIKE as an advanced birthday gift! i'm finally gonna be able to learn how to ride on one! HAHAHA loser much but yeah, that's about how boring my childhood was.

something bad. i was eating pizza 3am this morning and a part of my molar chipped off! and i thought i just bit on an accidental pebble on my pizza but it turned out it was my teeth! fucking sheeez. that's a friggin molar! i'm not even sure if it's an entire molar or a just fraction of it. it sure feels awkward having a toothless gap. T_T; whyyy??? but i brush twice a day? right. not enough. i know. hmm, this could be helpful to my diet! i can't eat ice cream now! uhm, yeheeey?!

DQ is such a fucking temptation. why did it have to be closer?! i remember wishing for SMF to have one, and now that is has one... arggggghhhh. next, YOSHINOYA please. >:)

a few of my favorite things (in my room)

of course. >:) my pens! >:)

the random stuff i draw >:)

made last october 15, 2010 at school, after having breakfast w/ brian. this was at the back of the paper mat they put on the food trays at mcdonalds. argh. it's very inconvenient having to describe it that way. is there a general term for those paper mats??? ay bobo. paper mats. duh.

hey. that's a month before his birthday! and a month and a day before mine. >:) e wala lang.

♥

remember D???? my self-proclaimed Yeorim (Go Yung Ha)??????? i stalked him on facebook and saw that HE'S WEARING GLASSES in his default pic. can i faint for a while??? he's too cute. he's too... Yeorim. ♥_♥ argggghhhh weaknessss.

everytime i see him my heart flutters like crazyyyyy. >:D actually it's the smile eh. he always smiles. Yeorim always smiles. i don't know who i like better but at least D is real. yeah right. not that it makes any difference lol. he has a girlfriend tho. who cares? i don't.... wanna be his girlfriend anyway (or anyone else's for that matter. uhh for now. like 10-28-10 20:16:00) LOL

right now. my heart screams Yeorim! and ocassionally D, or G, or JE or MA. whoever's within sight. i am so unfaithful. WAHAHAHA who are they ba? they're just crushes!!! >:D i don't caaaare at all. yeah, and i'm so indifferent i put up an entire entry (even a Category) for these inspirationssss. WAHAHAHAHA

kinikilig ako. andame ko nanamang ballpen! >8D

nakahuhumaling ♥

wow pens! i saw something cheap! monami gel pens for 17 each! >:) they have 7 colors! FOR MY BIRTHDAY PLEASE???? 119 lang shet. @_@

ETA: BOUGHT!!! oh gawd, i'm so impulsive. around two hours ago i was drafting this entry. then i couldn't hold the temptation anymore so i left the pc, commuted to SMF and bought the glorious pensss, plus you know, coffee crumble ice cream. LOL i kept on telling you it's just 1 pint, but 800mL isn't 1 pint. it's 1.70!!! argh. but eating 1.7 pint sounds better than imaging 800 mL. that's almost a liter of ice cream. man. i can just die of guilt. oh my. and diabetes.

Lord, sorry. @_@

yeah right

this week is strangeley unalarming, considering it's midterms week. midterm exams don't really alarm me. sorry. i'm waiting for this day to end so i could go home and stream SS like crazy. i'm on episode 15! and there are only like 5 episodes left. 3 of which are in the subbing process. i can't wait. and by the way, i just switched to smart bro cos it's faster and cheaper. compared to globe that is. i haven't tried sun broadbad yet . hehehe

i don't have a majorcrush still but i have a lot of crushes at school!
let's list em! >:) HAHAHA

there's D who has the most cheerful smile in the world. everytime he smiles, he makes my day. ♥ ♥
there's G who i see hanging out with D most of the time. i dunno, been crushing on him since last last trimester but oh well, we're never really acquainted. same with D hahaha
there's JE. i don't know what to call him, he reminds me of my bestfried. lol maybe it's because of the height.
the there's MA. no idea what to call him either, not that there's a reason to hahahaha. he hangs out a lot with JE last tri.

so you see, i like 4 people right now. and i know none of them. i wouldn't put in much effort on em since they're just mino rcrushes. i'll prolly just swoon at em from afar. haha

oh gawd. looking at them, they could become my personal, eherm, Jalgeum Quartet! fanaticism brought to you by Sugkyunkwan Scandal. ayos. here are their roles.

D would be Yeorim/Go Yoong Ha. it's the killer smile man. >:)
G would be Garang/Lee Soon Jeon. he's a smartass, cold-hearted heartthrob after all.
MA would be Daemul/Kim Yoon Shik since he's the most "effeminate" of them. also the shortest i guess.
and of course JE would be Geol Oh/Moon Jae Shin because, err, because he's the only one left without a role. LOL

WAHAHAHAHA kinikilig ako just by thinking of it.
i don't think i could focus well on my exam this day.
45 minutes to go.

♥ ♥ ♥

don't read

bwiset ka. it's not funny. hope you'll quit doing this. >:(


i'm sorry. it's me. the problem is with me. i shouldn't have "investigated" further. the truth doesn't always equate to freedom. and freedom isn't always good. what a burden, this knowledge i have of you. i wish i hadn't known. fuuuuck. and i couldn't bring to hate you that easily cos there's really no reason to. eventually, all the blame will come down to me and my premature assumptions. they say i'm too dense, but it's really just a cover cos i couldn't handle the truth well enough to be called mature. such a tricky tricky life. this aspect of my brain is no doubt the most underdeveloped. 


i want, uhm, ice cream. >:(