my shirt is ready! >XD

#1) like the pens? :P
YES! :D

==================================

// today was... okay lang! i spent to much on food, =___=; i shouldn't have brought money at megamall nakakapanghinayang! and here i was! trying to save for a cheap sony digicam!

guilty pleasure == blenz mochachillo. suuuuus, nagtaas na sila dati 160 ung regular (2nd biggest) ngayon 185 naaa!! it's their best frappe siguro and they're trying to make bawi to those people who spend the entire day and consume too much electricity charging their laptops and surfing all day (like me) haha. their whipped cream changed too, parang coconut based na ngayon. yummy parin naman pero mas gusto ko yung dati.

walang wala ang starbucks. tsk.

// on the way to mega, nakasabay ko si kuya onad sa bus! kuya onad is my brod from uplb who just passed the chem eng'g board exam. naks engineer! and i super missed our org handshake!!! it has been months eh, i thought i had forgotten it already hahaha.

// anyway, guess what! we're classmates at filitwo! wahahaha! i'll stop calling him majorcrush kasi hindi na sya major for me. hehehe nagfade na yata eh. crush na lang. haynako, we were almost groupmates! epal kasi labas ng labas hindi tuloy nasulat pangalan nya sa listahan. SANA SINULAT KO! pero i had to pretend i didn't know his name, kunyari kebs lang. WHATEVER hahaha

// why do i have a feeling i'll get lower grades this term? wag naman sana Lord. :(

// btw, i downloaded apache, mysql, and php but i freakin don't know how to install it or configure it. xampp is supposed to automatically configure it diba??? e malay ko ba ang weird naman nun. i think i have to look for other ways, like... may manual way baaaa? tell meeeee. >:\

// haha i made a new blog! i mean, walang entries, ni-register ko lang para akin na ung blog address (both on tumblr and blogspot): THE SERIAL DOODLER. parang mas gusto ko yan as an art blog though tamad ako eh, i upload na nga at deviantart, tapos cross-post pa dito tapos may tumblr pa? i just want to show my works to a larger audience and tumblr has the best platform for that. hehe

// my GEEK shirt is ready! wahahaha! excited na kooooo! XD

bwahahaha

i have 2 new SETS of pens!!!! that's 40 multicolored pens to waste on my excessive doodling and to add to my ever growing colored pens collection! wahahaha! thank you so much brian!!! so now i've got around 7 sets of pens.... 4 felt tips, 2 metallics, and 1 gel. HAHAHA such a pen freak. anything i could use to draw colorfully makes my heart skip a bit, really! wahahaha lovely day!

onto this day, so earlier i mentioned i finished reading a book... i'm still fantasizing about my own Luke Brandon, arrogant, handsome, well-built, and rich! though me being a financial journalist (let alone, a journalist) is in the least of my career choices, i still wanna meet someone like him and fall in love! yeah, there's something undeniably irresistible with the arrogant-handsome-well-built-and-rich package that just takes me away, and guess what? it's not about love at all.

it's all about security. yeah, but that's just me. i mean, it's one thing to cuddle up with someone and feel safe. it's also one thing to talk intelligently to your partner; current events, showbiz, nat geo and discovery channel and LAUGH. then it's also one thing not to worry about money. it's kinda perfect the way i imagine it to be hahaha

so onto school...

we didn't have classes at data structures awhile ago so our teacher just let us play and browse the internet hehehe. rizlife (life and works of rizal) was kinda boring, but i guess i can tolerate it. why, i have no girl friends. then, webdev3! gaaaawd, sometimes i wish my teacher would stop praising me, it's embarassing! he was my C++ teacher so he knows me pretty well.  if only he knew how much i sucked at arrays in java programming and that i passed an unoriginal project, maybe he'd quit venerating me and my honest-to-goodness RAW programming skills. yes it's flattering but not really worth boasting around in the 'outside world'. he keeps mentioning my surname telling my classmates how good i am, that there are only a few good female programmers around **, i wish i could sink in my seat and disappear. it also adds to the list of expectations i must live up to. i couldn't disappoint this teacher, not when he's so proud of me. hello, stress, we meet again!!!

** - i never believed this one. i'm never really a good programmer. i mean, if you were here, you'd think life is too easy.

anyway. i'm kind of dreading wednesday because i have only one subject and it's filitwo (filipino 2). it runs for 4 freaking hours and i'm afraid of being friendless, my filione friends are all in a different section. i'm kind of hoping majorcrush is there, but i'm also sort of wishing otherwise. i have to have friends first. i need friends to spend the breaks with. nooooo, i hate being a loner. :(

blow me away

chick lit still owns me, after all. it's the only genre i could finish reading in a single sitting. actually i've just finished reading Confessions of a Shopaholic (ebook) and i liked it! well, writers of this genre have the same style, which makes it easier for us readers to just grab a book by the shelf and not worry about getting uncomfortable (and bored) with unique sentence structures... blah blah blah, weirdly i get affected by stuff like that. i don't even care if people think i'm reading books for the dumb... well it makes me laugh, no other book can make me laugh like i do with flicks. hahaha anyway, i'm a sucker for romance, especially when reading chick lits wahahahaha because it always seems comedic and romantic at the same time. lol my giddy hormones are erupting like crazy on the last part of the book where Rebecca and Luke was dating. wahahaha

Luke Brandon, is such a handsome name for a guy. fares almost like Clayton Westmoreland from Whitney My Love (Judith McNaught). those types of names just get automatically associated with multi-million companies and luxury cars right? whew. rich sounding names!

right. i have a class in one and a half hour.
and when i get back i'll download the sequel. haha

well, i think so.

the fight is never between the heart and the brain. it's just the brain all along. do you forget your wife when you get a heart transplant? no. then maybe love is just a state of mind. but above that, i'd like to think love is a state of our soul, not just our mind. i want to take it to a spiritual level but i can never tell. i mean, God loves us, and i'm not even sure if he has a tangible brain with hyperactive neurons racing past.  

hmm, i think it's more on the soul though. but whatever, me thinking about it only makes it harder for me to pick a candidate for *sigh* matrimony. LOL 

love is a beautiful thing to talk about... philosophically, not romantically. :P i've never talked about it this much. h
ahaha i'm not even half in love. wahahaha

ruled by expectations

school starts tomorrow! hello third term! i promise to do better this term, academically. haha i figured i'm facing much bigger responsibilities now than i have back in uplb. for one, everyone expects me to be the same old A- student, if not A+. it's hard to live a life ruled by others' expectations, but somehow, it can't be helped. it's my choice whether i'd bend into their demands or not. but the consequences are grave if i don't (i.e. shame). i'm not worrying about it though, because what they demand of me is the same thing i demand of myself every single day. their expectations are no different from mine, which makes it easier to bear. they expect me to be smart? i WANT to be smart. they expect to see my name on the list of scholars? i WANT to see my name there. they expect me to be a math whiz just like my dad? i WANT to be a math whiz, more than my dad hahaha. so it's not anymore a matter of what THEY expect me to be, but of WHAT i expect myself to become as well.

i know how hard it is to be expected something i can't give, it withers my optimism to death. everyday i want to be smarter, i want to learn more, i want to excel and rise above the rest because it's the only way i can regain the cognitive sense i've lost when i was in uplb. my self-esteem was murdered there, everyday i'm at the bottom of the academic ladder. i was made to think that everyone else is smarter, better, stronger and has higher IQ. it's a place where elite minds meet, and not say hi to each other hehe.

but besides the academic stress, i could never forget the place cos it's where i met truly exceptional personalities. people with so much sense i could go on talking to them for hours about anything at all. these people made me realize that's it's not all about IQ. i met people who are as academically challenged as i was, and they were the best people i've ever talked to.

whenever i tell stories to my feu-fern friends of how much i was a delinquent before, they wouldn't believe me. they never thought i had failed so much before. but i did. hahaha the most depressing semester of my uplb life was when i failed 14 out of 20 units i took that sem. almost got kicked out of school. but that was the past, and i'm trying to erase overwrite all the bad records i gathered for 3 years hehehehe

lol, i'm playing candy cruncher so i'll stop here.
wahahahaha