champions run toward their fears

i want to be a champion too but i'm too afraid of taking charge, of taking responsibility and of taking the opportunities that boldly present themselves to me. i believe that, if you think you can do a better job, then do it instead. keyword: THINK. the problem goes with deciding to actually DO IT. too much demands, too much hassle, too much trouble and NO TIME. then i go about thinking, i know i can do it, BUT I'M TOO LAZY TO. i see it as potential energy at its worst.

the head of the student board something something asked me if i can still host this school year's Ambassador of Goodwill (AoG) pageant. apparently, adrian and i were our english teacher's top choice last trimester. we emceed it last year and it was stressful. ok, fine, it's scripted. all i did was recite the words written in the spiel in my best radio quality english speaking voice. they liked it! BUT DID I? i didn't like the part where i was fumbling on what to do to keep the stage alive when the contestants are still dressing up for the next portion and we've ran out of intermission numbers. it was truamatizing. i can't adlib. i'll go nuts, i'll shower the audience with a bastarded version of the english language. i'll just humiliate myself and bring shame to my entire existence. anyway, i didn't. hehe

a shirt design? i would love to, but it's extreme labor for me to turn from space-hating-maximalist to minimalist. but that's where my brewing passion lies. traditional visual arts. with that, i decided to still become part of the school newsletter organization as cartoonist/illustrator. i'll probably do a better job there. but i'm not sure. i'm, err, to unconfident. hay

scriptwriting for gawdsake is something i've never done before. and from a dormant fiction story writer, they want me to transform into a freaking playwright (sort of)! the job is simple, the script is ready and they just need me to shorten/lengthen it to fit 30 minutes, and SCALE DOWN some vulgar items. ANG HIRAP KAYA SHEEET.  i like vulgarity in plays that display a common social setting. and for freak's sake, i'm an "exaggeralist". JM kasi eh grrr

i'll be reading the scriptSSSS tonight to see what i can do.
i just feel like they've got no one else to pass the awful job to. but that's freakin not my problem anymore. >:)
oh really, the thing is... I'M JUST TOO AFRAID TO SCREW UP.

hi pior!

pior (that's how i pronounce it, but i think it has an extra 'o' somewhere) is my new favorite instant coffee. bwahaha it's too powerful for me. the last time i downed a cup, i wasn't sleepy until 5am. @_@ and now, i need its company because of FUCKING JAVAAAAA.

btw, i'm starting to feel odd about these subjects: object oriented programming, physics, calculus AND PE!!!. woooooh. just my 'favorites'. my basis for feeling odd? i'm not topping them. and it's kinda begrudging to see people smarter than i am. but more than that, i feel... attracted? hahaha it's already too weird that i have a semi-fatal attraction to intelligent people. with glasses. ok. hmm... Herbert Bautista is too cute. ♥

wait! wait! can i rejoice? pingpong is now my new semi-favorite sport! >:D BWAHAHA

i have snake skin on my notebook >8D

last saturday, jec showed me this long white strip of what seemed like garlic peels, until he said it's snake skin he found lying at the school grounds that same day HAHAHAHA yikes. daddy told me old snakes peel off of their  skins to make way for the development of a new one. hehehehe e wala lang! weird! >:)

i am so fucking tired! i wanna sleep na like crazy or else i'm gonna get sick soon! i'm depressed over our objprog class because i seriously suck at java. java is like my hatest programming language. and i'm not getting good grades over it. seriously! add calculus and i'm doomed to be dropped from the partial scholars list. nakakadepress ampota.

walked at mv3 with jerome. it's weird cos he's so different now compared to the last time (and also the first time) i saw him. parang ang seryoso nya ngayon. ang hirap talaga ng umiibig, no pre? hahaha

kaaay. homework muna tapos tulog na ko yey!!!!

guiltier

she was being kind. i was being plastic. i told you right? it's something i have to put up in order to see the necessary good in everyone. now i know she's not always that bad. she's always a flirt and that can be forgiven. she's a cheerful person, you just have to put up with her casual swearing. she's a good friend. i'm the bad one for pretending to be good. AT LEAST I DIDN'T SHUT HER OFF. i was more than civil to her, i let her copy my homework, and share every academic resources i have. i wasn't being fake all the time. and i'm quiting this nasty facade i wear when she's around. Looooord thank you.

and now i have to convince my other friends that she's not that bad. >:) case closed.

blah blah blah I'M ON SUGAR HIGH. I'M NOT SLEEPING COS I HAVE TO FINISH THIS DRAWING FOR FCLC. YEY FOR CRAMMING!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

i love you daddy!!!!

after the service we went to celebrate father's day at the homebuilders' ministry where they organized a small program for our dear daddies! the food was delicious HAHAHAHA and the program was cute hehe >:)

then we came home, i slept, my parents went to an appointment and... yon. >:) HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

ok. 1 month starts tomorrow!!! if i can handle this, then i'm gonna be free for the rest of my life. HAHAHA