hello love!

of the 5 times i fell almost (but not quite cos i just fucking can't admit it to myself) in love, nothing ever happened. it's just me and my blog talking, me and my dormates giggling, and ultimately just ME. the reason why i can't label it as love is that... I FEEL THE SAME WITH EACH OF THEM, doesn't that make it less special? and love is supposed to be a unique feeling. something you don't feel with every other person whom you allegedly fall in love with. or am i just missing something that's supposed to be unique with each of them?

the way i feel with my majorcrush right now is exactly how i felt with ryan agoncillo 8 freakin years ago. it's also the same feeling i got with my 5 foot majorcrush 2 years ago. and nothing's different with my first ever college crush either, who faired top 2% in Math and Science during the UCPAT. so what gives? nothing.

sometimes i think love is an overstatement, or at least the way i perceive it to be. that's why i frakkin can't get out of my comfort zone and take risks. it's like, i won't enter into a non-serious relationship so i guess i'll just have to wait till i'm out of college so that the chances of meeting a young immature guy gets narrowed down. i admit it's a totally narrow view point but, yes, i am conservative. and also, i think the people around me are too young? or maybe i'm just too old. either way, they're still too young.

my psychology prof once said that college is a good marriage market. she may have said that because she's in UPLB, where, in terms of braincells, you won't have problems producing a smart child so the only thing you have to look for are other qualities like looks, # of cars, personality, lol.

but with me, intellect goes first on the list. and i can only look back at LB for probable prospects. sorry for being painstakingly prejudiced. but it's totally impressive if the guy is an intellectual who is good at math and has wide viewpoints on philosophy. just someone smarter than i am. i'm not that smart if you get to know me, really.

lol what's happening???

i can't concentrate. whew!

i have to finish our webdev project tonight so i can do java tomorrow.

lol this isn't the first time it happened! teka let me count, since highschool... 1,2,3,4,5! errr, i'm talking about my majorcrushes. damn. hala i miss my crush! pwede makita? yun lang! then i'll probably hide when he notices me... as usual! nubayan. hahaha and i want coffee! and i'm also wishing for biofit to take effect NOW NA, so my stomach would lighten up kahit pano.

webdev. webdev. i have no idea what to put in the website. hmmm...
java. java. rogelio where are yooouuu??? =__=;

come to think of it, i had so many chances i blew just because i'm too shy, or scared... or uuhhm, weird. hehehe

oo at dahil dyan, i'll quit swooning (for a while) over jacob and continue with the damned project.

i'm hungry. =___=;

booooring -__-;

this is an extremely lazy day for me. i still get nauseated every once in a while like when i smell cold food but i don't throw up anymore. headache's gone too. wait, sounds like i'm fucking pregnant but no, i'm too much of a sinner to be granted immaculate conception. and even though my stomach is really big, there's no child in it, cos i'm 100% sure it's because i take too much afternoon naps and sit after every meal. k.

that's why i'm bringing back the biofit habit cos i think the food in my stomach hasn't been well digested for days. i also think my metabolism has gone slower than usual. hehehe

hey. last time i checked, NO ONE in our class is close to submitting the final project in java. sucks big time. rogeliooooo, i'm counting on you. hehehe

anxious much?

// ID FAIL: they got the spelling of my name wrong and Computer Science is spelled COMP\UTER SCIENCE. fucking typo. and i waited months for that. wait, where's the 'barcode'??? weeks ago they're preparing this ID swipe terminal at the gate and now it's goooone. haha and picture is too big! 2x2 WTF?!?!

buti pa yung ID sa UPLB!!! may barcode kahit walang swipe swipe thingy! HAHAHA >:D

// mathlog fail. i skipped a LONG quiz. what's gonna happen to my grade? it's my lowest subject (webdev too). =___=;

fckngsck

something's telling me that our java class this morning will be as usual, uneventful. i haven't studied the project in-depth so i feel guilty for my groupmates. and you know, poject-making thursdays are boring because none of us know what to do, and i'm sort of counting on rogelio to help me. ever since we came into arrays, i'm all blank.

if today would probably suck, i tell you, yesterday sucked even more.

i woke up as early as 5 because i was heavily nauseated, ever since, i came to the bathroom to throw up every 15 freaking minutes. maybe because it was too cold. i came to school and it became worse cos our classroom is a living north pole. the CR became my second home. and because i can't take it anymore, i'm feeling so damn sick of dehydration already, i just went back home to rest. i skipped half of filione and the rest of mathlog. and then, everything worsens from there, well, until i woke up this morning. i'm thought i'm gonna be sick for the rest of the week, thank God i'm not. whew.

which brings me to a crucial question, will i go to school??? >:\