A very personal blog

A love to last: 5 Secrets to a long-lasting relationship

,

After six years of being together, six years of laughter and friendship, I decided to break up with my boyfriend. It took almost a year to emotionally prepare for it, but it had to be done.

We knew the time would come eventually, and we both agreed it’s for the best.

And so one day, on the eve of our 6th anniversary, we called an end to our relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend.

September 22, 2017. It’s all over. And surprisingly, there were no tears.
When all the words have been said, we took a moment to let everything sink in.

And then that’s it.

I will never forget that day, when we broke our hearts into two…
and gave each other a piece.

My boyfriend of six years, finally became an ex.

But more importantly, he became my husband.

Want to know how we did it? Here’s my 5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship:
Also, enjoy the random photos from our prenup lol

1. Annoy each other


In short, be each other’s best friend. Even studies agree with me here, thanks Huffpost. Marrying your best friend is the best romantic decision you’ll ever make, trust me! It’s the ultimate test of patience, you know, living with someone who’s annoying to the bones. You’re guaranteed to grow more mature, more patient, and more understanding. And best of all, you’re guaranteed someone who knows you inside out. Someone who knows how to cushion your every downfall, and support you in times of need. That’s what friends are for.

2. Make him do the laundry

Believe me, it’s the one thing you can entrust to him when it comes to house chores. I have strict standards about keeping cleanliness around the house. And for some reason we don’t share the same criteria. But surprisingly he does well with the laundry.

And quite frankly, I have to thank Del Fabric Conditioner for that! I’ve been a huge fan of Del because of its mild yet fragrant scent. We use lavender for our clothes but when I learned about their new variants Forever Joy and Forever Love, I just had to try them.

And in fairness it did not disappoint. The rags we use for cleaning and our wasting Good Morning towels were literally reborn. All thanks to Del Forever Joy and Forever Love. Our cleaning rags were gifted with 15x longer lasting bangoooooooo that’s sure to give regular detergents a good run for their money.

Forever Love, the pink one, smells like cherries. Forever Joy also has a sweet and fragrant smell that I can’t spell but it’s closer to lavender so I was sooooo inlove with the scent.
Big shout out to Team Kramer for trusting Del to keep their clothes mabango all day. In light of all the controversies they’re facing regarding their parenting style, they’ve done a great job upholding their values. I admire them for keeping their faith and putting God at the center of their family. We have much to learn from this couple.

3. Cuddle when you’re angry

You may have fought a lot while you’re dating, but believe me, you’ll fight a lot more when you’re married. But that’s part of life. Just don’t let your anger consume you. The Biblical approach to resolving issues with your spouse is to not let the sun go down while you’re still angry. Of course not literally, but ideally, don’t leave anything unresolved for too long.

I’m blessed to have a husband who doesn’t face me when he’s angry. He cools down by himself and approaches me when he’s ready, all within the day. It’s hard to sleep beside someone you’re mad at. And I’ve proven a lot of times that my silent cuddles work wonders when he’s mad. But it doesn’t end there. The silent form of affection, despite comforting doesn’t help you resolve your issues entirely. When you’re angry, cool down and let the other know you’re not mad anymore, then talk about it. This brings me to my next tip.

4. Stop dropping hints

Men are simple creatures and would appreciate it if women would quit beating around the bush and being passive aggressive with their issues. Marriage doesn’t magically give our husbands psychic abilities to hack into our minds and decode what we meant when we say we’re fine. If you keep speaking metaphorically to your husband that means you’re not comfortable communicating with him at all. It pays to be direct.
Be ready to spell everything literally to your partner. From your excitement to your grievances, you gotta let your spouse know what you feel. In our six years of being together I thought we already knew each other completely, but it turns out there’s still a ton of things we don’t understand about each other. Beat the gap by practicing open communication. Talk to each other everyday. Tell them about your work. Share all the funny things you saw online. At the end of the day, you’ve only got each other to talk to lol so don’t shut up. Annoy each other like friends do haha.


Last but not the least,

5. Keep God at the center

A healthy relationship is where 3 parties are involved. Man, woman, and God. What were you thinking haha.

Put God first. A husband who puts God first will become a good husband to his wife, and vice versa. Without the Bible to guide a relationship, everything can go haywire. You’ll be influenced by all the things modern society is shoving down our throats. Let the Bible be your moral compass and let it guide your marriage. A family that prays together, stays together. Cliche but true!

Before I end

Remember that love is a choice, an action verb that requires work. And like everything in life, you must work hard to stay in love. Keep it a point to choose loving your partner no matter what happens.

Sharing with you our same-day-edit by God’s Grace Productions. Shoutout to our official photographer too, Dave Sarabia, for capturing our favorite moments! ❤ Still on wedding high, am I?