don't read

bwiset ka. it's not funny. hope you'll quit doing this. >:(


i'm sorry. it's me. the problem is with me. i shouldn't have "investigated" further. the truth doesn't always equate to freedom. and freedom isn't always good. what a burden, this knowledge i have of you. i wish i hadn't known. fuuuuck. and i couldn't bring to hate you that easily cos there's really no reason to. eventually, all the blame will come down to me and my premature assumptions. they say i'm too dense, but it's really just a cover cos i couldn't handle the truth well enough to be called mature. such a tricky tricky life. this aspect of my brain is no doubt the most underdeveloped. 


i want, uhm, ice cream. >:(

asdsfmasf

this is extreme. when the connection is bad, it's really bad like 0.00 kbps. but when it's good, it's good like 1mbps. why can't i have a consistently good connection foreverrr??? 

folks, i'm on episode 9!!! i'm also quite aware that i sortof promised to just wait for the dvd to come out but, well, what am i to do when the connection is good?

yesterday after school, i followed my friends to trinoma to have dinner. it sucks being the only one who hasn't graduated yet. it also kinda sucks that we ate in a non student-friendly restaurant. LOL. anyway i missed all of them but errr, that pork pepper rice was expensive. T__T; hehehe

my friends are all fairing good. looking at them, i get really frustrated at my state. i'm still two years away from that elusive diploma. the truth is, i hate telling stories. when they ask me about my life i hate going through all the details. paulit ulit na lang e. wala lang, parang, can i just send you a link to my blog? HAHAHA or can i just talk about the koreans i'm flailing about? ayoko pagusapan ang past. not that it's bad, but it adds up to the remorse. ok then, it's bad. wala kasi akong ibang naririnig kundi SAYANG eh. nakakainis lang how these people never fail to make me feel like i did the wrong thing. i'm talking about people, in general.

seriously. you might call me ungrateful but i'm not too proud of where i am right now. >:(

gusto ko lang grumaduate, magtrabaho at kumita ng pera. 

Sungkyunkwan Scandal

 you own me right now. ♥ ah, that's just a picture lol.

he who must not be taken for granted

watching too much drama has led me to quite a passable observation of the so called 'other guy'. the lead male supporting character. the rebound guy. the one whose feelings are left unacknowledged for the rest of the series. the ever so faithful conveyor of all things unsolicited. how could you have not gathered enough pity to console this worrisome character? when all he ever did was be there when the lead guy was not? not to mention his presence wasn't expected, and WANTED to begin with.


this hurts me. i've watched several, if not tons, of dramas picturing woeful characters like this. i always express my compassion but in reality, i'm probably one those who thinks he shouldn't have done the things he did, right when it's evident that's it's not getting him anywhere inside the damsel's heart.

putting myself in his shoes, perhaps i'm too prideful to consider doing the things typical rebound guys do. if there's no chance, i'll leave. otherwise, i'll continue hanging on to that hope of having my feelings acknowledged and reciprocated one day. note that 'other guys' have an outstanding level of sensitivity that marks him as rather too assuming, or too paranoid, or just plain crazy. it's a necessary skill in order to distinguish whether his damsel has been dropping off hints saying you've got a chance, keep impressing me.

next. the damsel's shoes. if i were to walk in her shoes, with so-called 'other guy' tailing around me, i would feel extremely awkward, specially if i have already made it clear that i don't particularly need his concern. of course, his efforts are worth a recognition, after all, he's the one who's never absent when i called, he's probably "The One" --- the one i'm not looking for, and he's the one who claims to understand me better than the one i'm expecting to, which is sweet and creepy at the same time. imagine the possibility of a stalker with psychiatric tendencies. his diagnoses your every move and claims to know what you think, based on the Freudian theories. he just loves you, that's all.

fret not "the one", cos karma has it's way of making the world less unfair for you. the one you're following with all your faith, the one who constantly rejects your effort, begs you to quit and stop making things complicated, is also like you. a rebound. only, for some other guy, whom you would love to avada kedavra out of this world. but that doesn't solve anything either, for chances are the damsel you're wooing all your life, would rather follow the avada-ed one off to the netherworlds. hehe

i dunno, i'm writing this early cos i don't have anything better to do. i'm waiting for SS to stream WAHAHAHA actual reason why i'm up this early lol.

ok. as an end-note, and also in my honest opinion, as much as i feel sympathetic to these "other guys", i'd rather have them look for another. and for those damsels who enjoy being tailed around, come on, how heartless could you be? let them go. WAHAHAHA

SONG JOOOOONG KIIIII!!! ♥♥♥

>:)

SUNGKYUNKWAN SCANDAL! it's taking up my entire head! @_@ this is pretty much the type of insanity i wouldn't mind "suffering" from. i put off Chuck season 3 because of this. WAHAHAHA why? because SS has the romance factor that's lacking in Chuck, reason why there's no thinking twice on which goes first. but seriously though, even without the romance thingy, Chuck will always be on my top list of favorite series. why? because it's fun to watch again and again. romance series tend to go bland the 2nd time you watch it. intelligent series won't. >:) and come on, i may go swooning over Tae Kyung because of looks but i'll stop digging him if his IQ goes below average. HOWEVER, the characters in SS are all smart to begin with, soooooo. i forgot what my point is. i love chuck. but SONG JOONG KI is the cutest scholar everrr. kinikilig ako WAAAAHHH

btw, a day ago i saw a super cute highschool student coming out from school. gender is unidentified as my classmate and i are still debating on it. he's too cute for a guy, and too flat-chested for girl. this leaves me to worry about my own sexuality. LOL. if she is a girl then that makes me weird. anyway, i don't care. it's not like i like pretty girls. i like handsome girls. i like kaye from Ezra band. and Shane McCrutechon from L Word. and yeah, the gender-unidentified highschool stud who has eyes like Tae Kyung. hihihihi ♥ ♥ ♥

back to the scandal. >:)

while the ice cream melts

allow me to be emo this time by dwelling on the one person i still love, and will continue to, unless i hear God telling me to stop and look somewhere else. he doesn't know it, but i hope it shows. to me, he is the exception from my everyday routine, the distraction to my monotonous living, and even though he doesn't have a clue (uhh but i guess he does) how much he affects me, i'm willing to love him silently for err, practical reasons, or for reasons only the brain could surmise.

even i don't understand myself. i always make time for him, and i never put up excuses. that's how much i long to be in his company. it doesn't happen a lot these days so every chance is an opportunity to see him. just that. just one call and i'll go rushing over to his side. it doesn't matter if i'm the second one he called, i'm still the only one who came. for now i'm not vying to be on the first spot, i'm fine not being the first long as i remain a spot. LOL

love, really. beats me why.
but you know, studies always comes first.

i just bought ice cream and i'm waiting for it to melt. >:)
i'm also rerunning chuck season 2, while playing my chances on globe broadband... if i get a good speed i might try streaming SS. LOOOOOL i'm kinda not giving up.

oh the mascot. sige, maya maya hanap muna inspirasyon lolz.

i surrender

i was wrong. sungkyunkwan scandal is still airing on korea. so there's really no chance of getting dvds right now. the only way i could watch it to satisfy my hormones is to stream it online, in which case i need to invest on ultrafast internet connection that apparently, globe tattoo broadband couldn't give me. >:( so globe, goodbye. 

let's estimate:

so far, right now, they're at episode 16. 4 more chapters and it's gonna end. 4 days at most, 2 weeks depending on the producing korean network. a week after, the english subs should be out and completely uploaded online. another week and the pirates are gonna have it. another week and they should be able to burn these into cds. another week and they'll have it distributed to st. francis square ortigas, or more conveniently, commonwealth market. that's one month and a week, if my schedule is followed. 

so to make sure that it's really out and available in the philippines, i need to wait a maximum of 2 MONTHS. just in time for christmas. and since i couldn't afford to stream it with a mega fucked up network that's sucking up all my money, i decided to just surrender to what seems to be God's will, which is also the most practical and virtuous thing to do. God says WAIT. fine. >:)

see you on christmas kim yoon shik. this is sad, but it's better than assuming that God doesn't want me to watch you EVER.

so how did i come up with this LOL realization? 

you see, out of my dying desperation to watch the thing, i went to netopia to stream! i was planning on downloading the streamed stuff onto my usb so i could watch it at home. the dl speed was fast, but at some point, it lagged, and i couldn't find the right software to use for wat.tv (why did it have to be this complicated grr). i spent an hour and 2 minutes searching for a compatible software but nadda. >:| so i gave up and logged out, and they charged me almost 50 pesos for that. and i thought they charge 25/hr. fuckyeahmoneysucker. so there, i thought God didn't want me to watch it now. 

then i came down to the supermarket to buy something and thought, it's too bad that i wasn't able to watch SS, so i should treat myself to ice breaker!!! >:D >:D >:D >:D but when i came there, the stall was tindera-less. i cried (mentally), Lord - pati ba naman ice breaker??? i thought about waiting for the tindera to come but in the end, i surrendered again and just went home. 

i was on the ailse to the tryke terminal when i suddenly recalled that my parents were heading to FCM right now, i turned back to search the parking lot and OUR CAR WAS THERE!!! yehey! i walked back to rustan's and saw my mom, assisted her and blah blah blah. when i came out, the tindera was already there and she's the tindera who gives more milk servings!!!

so in the end, i had ice breaker with extra milk and rice crispies. 

oh yes, when God says wait, just do it. it's for the better. 

>:)