i'm 2 minutes early for work, beat that! >XD

God loves me so much he rewarded my waking up 15 minutes early than usual by allowing me not to arrive late for work. you see, i live at fairview and work in makati, and mondays are crazy not just for me but for the rest of the manila working class. i usually wake up at 6:15 (my regular working sched is at 8:30) and usually on mondays, i arrive at the office at 9am, so late grarr. so this morning i tried to break the habit by waking up 15 minutes early in hopes of arriving a bit early as well. note that for an ultra lazy slacker like me, waking up 15 minutes earlier than usual is a big big struggle. believe me huhu. >XP

over the weeks, i realized that MRT-ikot fx's are scarce come 6:45 so i always opt to ride the jeepney. the bad thing about it is that they drop you off at the bridge under the q.ave flyover which is so hassle cos it includes lots of walking to reach the station grarrr (whereas fx's drop you off at McDo q.ave which is much convenient but seeing that they're pretty rare, i don't wanna waste time waiting for em). Although there are some jeepneys, when stuck in u-turn traffic, that drop people off at the high way so they don't have to walk that much compared to the usual drop off area. i think it's illegal, but it's much faster and whenever i get the chance, i try to get off there. from there, people still have to cross the bridge but it's much nearer naman na. plus, i don't really cross the bridge, i get out using the hole at the metal fence some cool dude created. it has been there for years i guess, and well, it's useful for me and many others who are too lazy to cross the bridge. haha sorry, not a good example no?

monday morning rush hours at MRT is really really horrible, and the people are really in barbaric mode, even the girls. i have to endure 2 painstaking lines in order to get to the train. first is the line to get in the station which usually snakes up to the streets of edsa, and then the line at the platform to get in the train. there are unfortunate times when

 when i get off at ayala, depending on the time, 2 more long lines are waiting for me, the line of people getting down and out the station, and the line of people at the ayala-washington jeepney terminal. i didn't include the line at the turnstiles to get out of the station cos it's pretty smooth flowing naman hehe.

andami ko namang sinabi, and point ko lang naman, masaya ako dahil hindi ako nalate sa isang LUNES. yehey. sana bukas rin haha

// this day was pretty tiring! church then lunch then circle with my cousins to celebrate my tita's birthday! yeyyyy! haha lots of kainan and harutan specially with angel, ang nagdadalagang echoserang froglet

// my kyot kyot pamangkins >X3

// daddy will be leaving for thailand on wednesday and he'll stay there for a week so i'm pretty much daddyless for awhile huhu. >:'3

// i'm so excited for tuesday, and as usual, friday!

// Lord Lord Lord, let this week be a good one. >XD Amen yeyy

ambagal ng oras grarrr

I don't understand most of the things they make me do here, but I'm hopeful that one day I'll get used to it all and uhm, yeah, learn everyting. They're right, the deadly jitters will soon fade away, but in my case, not completely. HAHA I'm like still in the process of discovering my worth as a "programmer". Most of the time, I think about quitting and studying multimedia/graphic arts instead ...and it doesn't sound so bad! in fact it excites me. Maybe it's the thought of studying something you know you'll actually like and improve a hell lot on that makes me so enthusiastic about it.

Maybe one day, when I've gathered enough guts and money to pursue that which I love, I'll venture into the arts department wholly. When I was in LB, it took me 3 years to realize I didn't like chemical engineering so at that time, everything else sounded better. Which is probably why I decided to take computer science. First it's not chem. eng, and next... well IT'S NOT CHEM ENG!!! haha Besides two of my housemates were CS studs so that probably influenced me. And yknow that time, I was like at a phase where I thought chem. eng was the worst (and hardest) course ever so anything which is not it, is probably tolerable. Even agriculture and veterinary medicine sounded better and more likeable to me.

long story short, it took me a looooooot of freaking time (and money) to realize what my real strengths are, and up to now, i'm not doing anything about it.

Time seems to be running so slow. I want to go home badly. Like BADLY. The weather is freaking bad outside, and we were just notified that we could leave early cos of the weather (undertime) but of course that's bawas sweldo so, really, no thanks. >:S I'll be in until 6pm cos I was late! Freaking rain…

Looord Looord antagal talaga ng oras. huhuhu ayoko po magcode. err. >:S

drama

and i thought eventually i'd get used to myself mentally whining about resigning everyday,but it seems like the dread is back on the loop. what i want others to understand is that i'm a fkn clean slate, employee with absolutely no knowledge on the prerequisites of her job. student who probably didn't learn anything substantial from school. i don't C, i don't Java, i don't UNIX, i don't Perl. i'm trying to learn all those while struggling to keep my self-esteem intact.

every day i wonder what kind of sorcery happened that they hired me. my exam was a flop, seriously. i drew a non-standard flowchart for a problem that requires java codes. and i only finished 1 problem out of the required 3 in a pool of 7. no, i don't probably need more pep talking. i'm well aware that i'm not cut out for this job, for this world, for this company. it was probably a mistake they hired me, and i'm suffocating from the pressure i inflicted on myself.

chos!

that was a note i created two days ago, supposed to send it to this blog but thought it could well sit for awhile (until now shempre). haha

right now, i'm tying to renew my hopes that everything will be better eventually. why, i'm a freaking worrywart. and i get easily discouraged. >:P uhm, my boss kinda helped lessen my worries though, and jeanne too. oh and also trish as she quoted a very inspiring conversation she had with the HR.

haha

really now

huh anlabo. last month, i took the exam at accenture for ASE and FAILED. yeah, i blogged about it. i waited extra hours for the result and when my patience gave in, i decided to just leave and wait for their confirmation through email. it arrived that same day, and it says 'we regret to inform you blah blah blah...'

but just now, i received a text message from them, telling me to pass a copy of my TOR and updated resume tomorrow b/w 10-4pm. ikindof can't understand what's happening kasi uhm. i dunno, mejo confused pa ko sa smart eh. hehe yes this is a more convenient opportunity, i just don't know what to do. hay.

we'll see.
naguluhan tuloy ako lalo.