a view from my window

 taken last wednesday. a solitary dead tree.

but on closer look, there's so much life in it. probably much more than the live trees around it. sadly, my phone camera isn't high-def, but the dots you see on the tree's branches are actually birds.

this scene made my afternoon so meaningful.

yesss. nagpapaka-deep! >:))

i'm scared of losing my job. scared of losing that string of independence i have against my parents. i'm not being rebellious or anything, trying to make money on my own. duh, but of course it's about time i do make money on my own. i'm on the right age. and my conscience (or was that pride?) can't take it any longer that i'm still fully, 100%, living off on my parent's income. i should be out of school, working now, but instead my parent's still have to send me to school for 2 more years. i want to pay them back, not exactly monetarily, by buying my own stuff... like a laptop. LOL i want mommy and daddy so save all their income for retirement. that's all. i don't wanna be a burden. i'm old enough. >:)

that's why, with my boss' foreboding threat about my termination, i am now scouting for possible part-time jobs outside school. i'm probably being negative, but I WANT TO LEAVE ANYWAY (defense mechanism, sorry). haha. i have a list. but. err. we'll see. Looooordddd!!!! >:((((

from UNITED STATES, SYOSSET -- who are you?

gimme a clue, dear reader. i ain't a proxy translator. >:|

no. i'm not done with the book thief yet. but i must say, the writing style is amazing! >:D

todaaaay?

- GOT MY FCLC SHIRT AT LAST! yey! my first T-Shirt design! how i wish more people would wear it. LOL sometimes i regret designing it for FCLC instead of ICON. i mean, for an artist, there's a great sense of pride in seeing a lot of people wear your design. DUH. i hope you know bad i feel about the shirt's exclusivity.

- finally on chapter 2 of WORLD OF GOO!!! haha new found game! hehe

- btw, my sister's wallet got snatched! in her bag! at goldilocks SMF! >8( her fault cos she left her bag open. anywaaaaay. it's okaaaaay. there's not much moolah in there, apparently 250 tops. plus her ID'S and ATMs. oh which reminds me, akinse na pala! but she doesn't have a credit card so, so much for a snatch really. her wallet costs even more than the kacheeeng inside. LOL maybe that's what caught their attention. langyang wallet yan. buti pa yung akeeen, KIPLING! oha. fake. >:) at least her bag didn't get snatched! COS THAT'S MY BAG! and it's braaaanded. branded ukay. >:) it's one of my favorite bags cos it feels original HAHA

- started working this morning. bossing talked to me about my renewal yesterday. her biggest complain about me was that my listening skills are kinda screwed. and that i do things she didn't order me to. LOL i dunno. can i blame JM for that? ever since he came, i've been too distracted. good ridance? aah, and i admit my hearing is a bit impaired. i understand. put i'll stick with this crap i'm in. good training ika nga. and well, it's an honor having to endure working there for 6 months now! WOW HAPPY 6 MONTHS OF WORK TO MEEEE!

- i'm officially majorcrush-less. JM has downgraded to just a crush. pengeng major crush! >8D i like K! but he doesn't talk to me. and i have an impression that he hates me! if only he knew how much i love nerds. who else, there's G too! he helped daddy carry his stuff once and i kinda see him a lot these days. aaaand, based on my preliminary stalking (oo meganon, bawal angal), he likes ANIME. now there's a common ground. BUT, he looks matapobre LOL. ok lang, i'm not poor. i'm just thrifty. hahaha

- i dunnoooo, is it best friends day today? then, happy best friends day to my best frieeeeendsss:

in chronological order!
- peachy romulo! perfect kasalo pag recess, lunch and sa kalagitnaan!
- mannie rueda! perfect kalaro sa damuhan at putikan!
- karla torres! perfect kaconcertan sa MMA tuwing uwian!
- brian buenviaje! perfect pagbuhusan ng kilig sa mga kinababaliwan!

yess. isa na kong ganap na manunula.

get well soon besp! >:)

i'm having problems with my schedule. and it's because of DIGICIRRRR. i specially enrolled in that class to give enough time for work. then we were advised to either transfer sections, have sunday classes, or agree to have another prof handle the subject.

ACTUALLY. the best option is the third one. i mean, why do you think we enrolled in that class? DUH. it's the SCHEDUUUULE. i don't care about a new prof. i don't want my work schedule compromised. grrr...

we were dismissed early, and as promised, i went to pay a visit to my bestfriend who's currently confined with a dislocated elbow. i missed him!!! >:D it's the first time i saw him in, errrr, months, tapos sa ganong kalagayan pa o. haha

sorry but that's kinda not the best part of this day yet (2nd best siguro HAHA). the best part was, RAAAAAIIINNNN!!!! whew grabeee! tita sola and karol let me watch videos during his concert here recently.  WAAAAHHH GRABEEEE PWEDENG HIMATAYEEEEN?!?!?! i don't even know his songs. but i've been crushing on him ever since full house. tapos pabalik-balik na lang kung san ko sya makita. but the feeling is still there! INTEEEEENSEEE ITOOOO!!!! bat ganto mehn?! >:) ang sarap kiligin ng bonggang bongga. >8D

raaaaaaiiiinnn ♥♥

yess, ansungit ko tlga. >:)

see, i knew it. this blog is cursed. my phone hasn't been sold yet, my odesk career is still a blur, and I'M GOING TO EK TOMORROW. try stopping that.

btw, i got my grades already! thank you Lordddd cos i'm still a scholar. i feel bad though cos i wanted to be a full scholar but I'M ALWAYS A SPOT SHORT. i'm the top partial scholar, which means, i'm one rank behind being a full scholar. but my grades actually slipped 0.03 points. thank you parin Lord. >:)

dear Lord. i'm actually quite envious of the full scholars. BUT i try to fight the feeling by being friends with them. HAHA help meeee.

ang sakit ng ulo ko deym. >:(


i felt a bit guilty about interested buyer #2563 (random number). but the thing is, he kept on asking me out. and i mean SERIOUS business, he knows that. it was a mistake giving out our landline to him, he kept on calling even though i warned him to text first before any calls. thus, i got really hostile at him. like:

IB #2563: hi
me: o
IB: ano, nabenta mo na?
me: oo
IB: so...
me: hindi mo na ko kelangan tawagan
IB: sige, salamat a
*hangs up*

see, i even had to lie just to shut him off.

a kasi ganito yan

i thought i already ate my words when i said i didn't want to know anything that could jeopardize close friendships. but now, i'm back to being at it. for feeling regretful that i was ever curious. >:| i want to bring back the times but i couldn't. once or twice, it doesn't matter, it's the same dreadful feeling. and as much as i can avoid it, I WOULD. >:(

here are my hatest feelings in the world, in no particular order:

1. mukang tanga - not doing anything when everyone else is busy. feeling genuinely happy and thrilled about something that's actually a lie, specially with your friends as the fabricators. assuming something, that has been born as a fictional idea, into reality, therefore making yourself a victim of your own illusions.

2. guilt - it gets in the way of everything. to avoid this, i try to be GOOD. as in 'generally' good so as not to harness such unnecessary and crippling emotion.

3. helplessness - my ego's quite big for a girl. i'm not sure. but i hate looking helpless, or being offered help, right when i know i can do the damn thing better than the one offering it. i'm no damsel in distress (you should know how much i hate em). i need no knight in shining armor. i hate knights in shining armors. all they care about is whether they've shown enough of their masculinity to the world, and what better way to flaunt it than to help poor, weak girls who can't carry their own asses. PLUS they can't do without horses. it's part of the package. haha don't get me wrong, i appreciate all acts of kindness/concern. i just hate looking weak. that's all. but i like gentlemen, of course.

4. ilang - i don't know my way around it. i hate it because it makes me want to hide and not see the person for a long and indefinite amount of time.... until the feeling has subsided. or we both have died. LOL sucks a lot fighting it. i'd rather hide, seriously.