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Hay

I'm hating my blog feed right now, you should know why haha. I've been terribly busy with a lot of things and while there have been times I was itching to write something as soon as it happens, I always end up getting distracted by more important things. Creating content for this blog has been a chore ever since I got married. You know why? Because for some reason I felt like I lost the privacy I once had when I was single. The time I had for myself. Being married opened my life in a different way it almost felt intrusive. I have problems right now, mostly financial, a lot spiritual, and the rest I can't even discuss here. And it sucks because I want to but at the cost of ruining relationships I'll just... keep it to myself. I need to write about it, somewhere somehow but I frkn can't because don't we all want to keep our mouths shut and pick who we share our troubles to? My blog isn't quite the right place to rant about my deeper problems. And I can't believe it. I used to be very honest here. Now, I've learned. Or maybe I'm just starting to get the realer problems of life, things you can't just blahg about. Hm. On the other hand, I signed my regularization papers yesterday. Whew. Job security at last. Or not. Cos who's to stay being a regular employee rids you of financial insecurity? My husband was a regular employee before he got redundated. On his next job he didn't last six months. Now he's jobless, nearing a month now, and I'm freaking out. Nagging about everything. I've cried on the bus, in the bathroom, in my sleep, about why I'm getting more and more insecure about this life. How is it not possible to cash in on love? There's gotta be some technology to support that. We'd be so damn rich.

I wanted to go the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale but I'm sure I wouldn't be able to buy anything. Php 200-500 for a book is still too damn expensive for me. Specially that ebooks are free. At best I'd be able to cover the event and would have something to blog about! But no chance scoring a Jojo Moyes. Are they giving it for free? All the haul photos I see has at least 1 Jojo Moyes title it's ridiculous.

I don't even like books, I just pretend to be reader.
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