don't forget to breathe

oh yeah. i'm human too. i don't know what to do with my life anymore. it's on its way to the dumpsite. >_> aw mehn. this is so not me. i've become one BIG pessimist. i wonder how i'm going to fix this mess. you know what, i want to quit being like this. it's like all i ever blogged about this semester is my failing academic life.

i want to share something happy, at least. :)

let's see. i've checked my preliminary schedule for the second semester already. i was given 19 units, but i cancelled 3 units (History 2) to give space to Chem160 (on waitlist)... currently i'm #5 on the waitlist and i'm hoping to get a slot. thing is, I MUST PASS CHEM40 FIRST because it's a prerequisite.

so, here's a change of priorites. now i realized how lethargic it is to take chem40 and 32 at the same time. not only it damages my crippled braincells, it also targets my psychological upbringing. i am slowly losing grip with my sanity. because of that, i won't push myself to the limit anymore (not that i am, in any way, really pushing myself. my efforts are quite invisible to the naked eye). i'll do my best to pass chem40 so that i'll take chem160 next sem, then if fate tells it so that i fail chem32, then i can just repeat it summer 2008. and look, i won't be delayed. yehey.

oyeah. that feels better. but it's not a good enough excuse to slack off, ONCE AGAIN.

heeeeey. i'm avoiding a group of people, and i actually feel guilty about it... because they didn't do me any harm at all. they're nice. yeah, but altogether they're too overbearing, too intimidating, i look like crap beside them. i was thinking if i'm doing this for my own good, to somehow regain what was lost in my self-esteem. but i end up thinking that, if i keep on avoiding them... it means i'm actually thinking about them. and thinking about them makes me feel worse.

dude. i'm sorry. :) i just think it's not fair to pry on each of our academic standings. not that you've taken a step already. i actually find it nice that you're somehow, 'concerned'. mejo napapahiya lang ako... you know. wotcher! i won't talk about this again. i'll just repeat and repeat the same things. lalalalalalaaaa

heeeey! i have PE2 already!!!! at last!! and it's swimming!!!! i can't wait!!!! :) yehey!!!!

oh, i want to hug dingdong dantes. he's very prince charming material. when i watch marimar, i feel envious of her because she gets to hug sergio everyday. hahaha, don't you see? sergio has big arms and chest. with him any girl will feel safe and secured. like he can just swallow you in his mighty love. hahaha. :)

yeah, just that. stay tuned, i might actually grow out of this misery. >_>

insecurity

yeah. that's my biggest problem.

Problem Set #1

answer neatly and orderly. present in a bluebook. due date to be announced.

1. your crush seems to like your best friend, and not you. calculate the percent hate you feel towards your friend.

2. your dream is to take any communication or business course but you landed on a totally foreign area, the blasted world of engineering. at which rate is your life span decreasing, assuming you entered college at age 16?

3. arianne, weighing 55kg and walking at a pace of 0.35 m/s collided with her crush, ryan - weighing 60kg, 5'10" in height, and walking at a pace of 0.5 m/s. assuming a totally ridiculous, perfectly inelastic collision, what would be the resulting velocity of the two entities? Also, what are the chances that arianne would go home without squealing?

4. prove that squareroot of -1 is not imaginary.

5. if you are a curve with equation y = x^3 + 12x^2 - 4 and your crush is a tangent line whose normal line's slope is y = x, at what point in the cartesian plane will you meet? if there is any, that is.

6. you BADLY wanted to shift courses but realized that you cannot reach the grade requirement of the course you are planning to take, much worse you are faced with the dilemma that you might fail 9 out of the 20 units you took this semester, which makes you eligible to be one of UP's most delinquent freshmen. you decided to walk your way to Carillon Tower, fully depressed and surrounded with a negative aura. What are the chances that you are NOT thinking of suicide? Also, if you are walking at a pace of 0.25 m/s on a straight path, how much force is needed to knock you off and stop you from heading to the tower?

7. arianne is facing 'The Great Depression', out of these items: a choloate bar, a cup of coffee, and a bottle of beer - which do you think will she take? if it's chocolate, how much are you willing to spend for it? if it's a cup of coffee, which brand would you give her? if it's a bottle of beer, are you willing to drink with her? compute for the average number of bottles it would take to knock off either of your first (supposing it's san mig light. lol).

8. arianne has already reached the maximum number of absences in one of her subjects (true!). if she takes one more act of negligence (or laziness, rather) she would be forced drop. luckily, even if she drops this subject, it wouldn't be accounted in her overall academic standing, but she has to apply for the same course next sem. what is this mandatory (not to mention a complete time waster and siesta spoiler) subject she is despondently talking about?

9. suppose arianne lit a cigarette with length 4 inches and the time it took her to finish smoking is 3x^2 - 2x + 7. calculate the rate at which the stick is being consumed, assuming that she finished smoking when the cigarrete is already 5/4 inches short.

10. after smoking, she suddenly became nuts and went to drink alone. she finished 2 bottles of redhorse and decided to go to LB Square to meet with her blocmates. Normally (when she's sober), it would only take her x^2 + 3x + 2 minutes to get there (point of origin: dormitory) but since she's drunk, the time it took her to reach the square increased by 5 minutes. how far is the dormitory from the square?

---------

ay, nababaliw na ko. i just made that up, neglecting the feasibility of the situation and the answers that could possibly come out. some numbers can be answered methodically, but the resulting values are not assured to be humanly possible. i mean, haller, hindi ko uubusin ang oras ko para i-solve ang problem set na yan, although ako ang gumawa.

but you see, there is an underlying meaning to this problem set. it is indeed a Problem Set. isang malaking lipon ng mga problemang nakakatamad harapin. and if you look at it closely (it's pretty obvious anyway), it revolves around my horrendous, dreadful, abominable, shuddersome, distressing, formidable and hideous academic/university life (credits to: www.thesaurus.com).

T__T;

NANA!!! (anime)

ang galing galing talaga! ngayon lang ulit ako kinilig sa anime. wahahahaha.

announcement muna:
ok na ko sa YURI!!!
soldier! i can watch shoujo with you na!!! hehehehe

e kasi ang cute na Nana e. hehehe at first akala ko yuri sha, pero shoujo lang ata e. basta para shang Gravitation! mejo lang... kasi may musician...? hehehe basta ang saya ng feeling ng nakakapanuod ulit ng bagong anime! yun nga lang masakit sa bulsa! huhuhuhuhuhuhu :(

o sige, nuod muna ako ulit! :)

ay, shoujo sha pero straight parin naman ung pairing. huuuh? basta ganun. wag makulit. nasa episode 2 plang ako. :)

soldier! let's watch Gravitation again! sino may DVD???? parang awa nyo na PAHIRAAAAM!!!!

hey dude

come on, don't tell me it's your job to go spying on our grades! fuck. don't do that again. i'm starting to regret being acquainted with your group, don't make me feel worse. i'm not smart. yeah, case in point made. and take note, out of the probably 10 exams i took this semester, i passed only 1... and it's a freakin' take home exam.

honestly, it wouldn't have mattered to me if i fail everything... because to me, that's normal. and i don't go fretting over failed exams. but ever since you came, everything mattered (and i detest it). i became self-conscious. my self-esteem leaped a thousand steps to hell. i was fucking peer-pressured. and it's all because of you and your legion of smartasses.

at first i wanted to be friends with you. at first. but now that we are friends (in an obligatory sense, that is) i realized i don't fit in. i know there's a lot more in me that could compensate for my obvious lack in mental aptitude but with you, will it matter? no. not at all. you look at people through their transcript of records, their general weighted average and the number of exams they aced. if that's the case, then how do you see me?

uhm, that's rhetorical. i do not wish to know the answer. my generalizations are evidently exagerrated and biased, but that's how i see you and your, for a lack of a better term, 'world'.

everyday, when i pass you by, i feel sorry for myself. i feel inferior. i feel dumb. i feel like i cannot cope with your high regards for academically competent people. i want to hide. seriously. i don't want to see any of you again, if i could avoid it.
why? you're all so fucking intimidating.

even my closest friend here, we two are extremes. she's super smart, i'm super dumb. we defy the concept 'like dissolves like' and comply with the statement 'opposite poles attract'.

and you know what, i'm starting to loathe it. what i feel would make me eligible to eternal damnation. i feel envious. i feel one of the most lethal capital sins man has proposed. i am morphing into a two faced monster. i hate her. yet i love her. i cannot deny the fact that we're friends. but even friends get envious with each other. but in this case it's one sided, i am the who took the lethargic blow.

and that stirs up my desire to look for a new friend.

>>>>>>end of rant

yesterday...

pipau treated hazel and i to 'animacoustics', an event prepared by Ozooms (uplb zoological society), at isis. hehe first time ko dun. maganda pala. bar sya, masarap ang kape (i tried snickers cremaccino), amoy yosi at alak. pero disente naman. gusto ko ulit bumalik dun. kaso mahal. 40 pesos entrance fee and minimum of 60 consumable. hahahaha. ok lang, maganda naman ang music and enjoy pag may kausap. ganun yung mga tipong lugar na gusto kong puntahan pag may kasamang kaibigan. pwede uminom or magkape. yun usap usap. haaay. kailan kaya...

feeling ko there are things that will only clear up when you come to the right age.
>_>