saiyuki's back

yay! at last i finished my new bookmark. there, i made it roughly the size of a playing card since i don't want my bookmarks to get all creased and folded. =(

saiyuki's back ---> 530pm on GMA. my all time anime favorites are making a comeback. slam dunk has been repeatedazillion times already yet the inner sd freak in me just can't get enough of the basketball action and the "overly" implied gayness among the 6 ft. bishies.

now it's saiyuki's turn to invade the world. mehn, the only thing that frustrates me is the change of character voices. once in AXN, sanzo's voice is sexy and low and very seme-ish, now he sounds like an uke with a higher voice. anyway, it doesn't really matter..

i'm in ff.net right now and i hate it that saiyuki has no character filter! grr... =
awhile ago i had this really devastating dream (i'm exaggerating). i was sleeping on the couch in my parent's room and i dreamt of sitting on a couch in front of Shakey's in FCM. my sister is there, very unusual. i ordered a caesar salad and while waiting my sister and i talked. i remember playing the guitar too.

what happened next really sucked...

as the waitress slowly approaches me with my salad, guess what?

AAAAAHHHH!!! I WOKE UP ALREADY!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET MY CEASAR SALAD PASS JUST LIKE THAT!!!! IT'S VERY DEPRESSING. I WOKE UP REALLY HUNGRY, I WAS THINKING OF GOING TO FCM TO CLAIM MY DREAM SALAD BUT I HAVE NO MONEy WITH ME! I WISH I COULD GO BACK TO SLEEP AND EAT MY SALAD! mehn, IF ONLY I COULD USE MY DREAM TO TELL THEM THAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME A SALAD. =(

this is sad.

the divine bowl of ramen

i never thought i've eaten a lot of ramen throughout my whole life. i thought it was normal for koreans to have these really big instant noodles with little nori squares and cute starburst shaped thing with an orange swirl inside... i wouldn't have cared so much on the label since it's korean and i think it doesn't matter if it's ramen or just any of my usual giant instant noodles so why do i sound so bewildered that it's actually ramen i've been eating the whole time?

probably because i have nothing more interesting to write about. and most probably because i'm reading a naruto fic right now and he's describing his steamy bowl of ramen and i found out we've been eating the same thing all day! only, he knows what he's eating and i consider mine as... noodles. to hear naruto describe his godly bowl of ramen will make you think it's on the peak of all divinities when simply stated it's just a freakin bowl of ductiled dough processed with too much sodium and all else cancerous.

anyway, i seriously think i should be studying right now. i guess i should leave... so bye.

i'm back to shane

i found this site where you can watch videos for free.. music videos, movies, series...

You Tube

check it out. so far i got a lot of video feeds from The L Word.
i think there's finl destination 3 there... try it.

maybe i'll direct link you to a couple of shane clips later... like you care.

haha, i haven't started studying for our exams on monday... good luck to me.

i think i'll be absent friday after the exams, i'm still thinking of a better (and reasonable) excuse without showing a medical certificate...

you're so vain. tsk, if only mirrors could laugh.

i admire a hell lot of people. and the more i like them the more i see my imperfections, my short-comings and everything else that is not me.

alongside admiration, of course, is envy. i envy those who are smarter that i am. who wouldn't? they are unknowingly pulling me down, down and down to the brink of self-denial and incompetency. i feel stupid when i'm with them, they make me look like a side-kick, and i DAMN hate that. you, go away.

i don't know but i came to realize my own version of the difference of admiration and envy. normally, when we admire someone smarter that we are, they are usually not in our level. like einstein or newton and all the geekheads of the renaissance (count your seniors too, your parents, teachers...). envy comes along when you know someone your equal is (or seems) greater than you are. like a classmate, a friend, your sister... anyone you know so well. yeah, that happens a lot. then competition starts...

competition is done not only by rivals and enemies, it could also be done with a friend and this happens a lot of times.

sometimes i observe people who secretly compete with their friends (count me in). i'm guilty of that, i have this ocassional need to assure myself that i am not in the bottom line and that i have more to show. call it bad, the hell i care...

even with my close friends i can feel the competition. it's actually present everywhere. you're a complete liar if you deny it.

i don't see the reason why i wrote this, it just came into my mind that i've been secretly competing a lot.

anyway, i will leave that evil side already and heed this quote my dad shared to me one time, "the best way to compete is to stay out of competition."

mehn, can you believe it? i'm out of the Caffeine Addicts Rehab! i'm not craving for coffee anymore (although i still have this 'drugged' feeling when i smell something like coffee). i'm out of inferno, maybe i'm now in purgatorio for the cleansing process.

damn it, my toe nail broke. maybe i was cursed not to have long nails forever. whenever i grow them successfully something will always happen that will end in me cutting them shorter again. damn fate.

moment of truth

i didn't make it to UP. i went there awhile ago with my dad along with lienne and bea.
ok, first of all i felt blank and neutral. definitely i felt sad, but it lasted only for about a minute then i regained my composure and went on living.

i'm warning you. i do not need your pity. i am not depressed. it actually irritates me that someone is trying to console me when i don't feel bad at all. i don't need encouraging words because i already filled myself with those beforehand. that's all. but i appreaciate your concern, it's just that i'd rather hear it from someone who, like me, didn't make it.

i'm quite happy, UST isn't a bad choice (in fact i don't have a choice). it's only now that i learned to appreciate it.

this is my ultimate dream:

i shall grow into a very successful person in the future where people will look up to my skills and appreciate me. i wish to be interviewed in a well-known newspaper or magazine. there i'll show them that behind my success are three rejection letters (or more). i am not smart enough for Ateneo, too laid-back for La Salle and too careless for UP but all these brought me here. it is in my failures that i defined my success.

yeah that's my goal!
it's fun to be optimistic.