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fallacy

aaaaahhh ok.


sometimes people let suffering penetrate their lives because it's the only thing that keeps them company when no one else is there. they blindly and desperately grasp anything within reach, and hold on, like their lives depend on it...even though it is painful, even if they know it will kill them in the process. after all, that's all they've got. to suffer is the easiest option, the nearest hole they could hide into. and even if it gives them a false sense of hope, they will let it pass because those who say 'let go and move on' are only there to tell them what to do, but not stay until the pain is gone.


 ----

that's unfair though. because the hole who got yourself into, can fit only one person. and we're here outside, waiting for you to crawl out on your own. now i'm on the 2nd person POV. haha really, now.

currently at mcdo, global city waiting for daddy. yeheeey! i finally have Art of Motion! >:D >:D and because the battery's dying, magbabasa na lang ako ng libro. hehe >:P bye for now.
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i thought i was on hiatus?

well, scratch that! i have never been successful in any of my hiatus attempts. HAHA ang arte arte naman. o yan i'm back after a miserable two days. the reason why i went on a (fail) hiatus, is too personal, too sensitive and is something i'm trying to avoid talking about especially here! i've never opened this up to anyone (well, like... just one person pa lang haha) and i want to keep it that way because every time i talk about it, i become over emotional and end up crying. so sorry to those who were asking. aaah siguro after a few years (or months) i'll post something about it.

i'm glad it's friday cos i can finally sleep without having to worry about anything for the next day. you know what, because of that frakking 'personal' issue, i crammed studying all of my exams. concentration fail! the filitwo exam was hard! but i studied naman... err kinda. my thursday exams were probably the best cos they were all easy! the dastrc exam was super ayos, i finished earliest cos i need to study for the next exam pa. luckily, we got a leakage. call us evil, but that's how it goes in college. i was so relieved when we were given a copy of the exact questions present in the rizal exam. whew!

however, the exams awhile ago didn't go too well. i think i'm gonna fail the eng3 midterm exams. crap. and the 4thglan exam was crazy. so much for 20 pesos worth of handouts, none of the answers were there! the programming part was easy though.

awhile ago at work i was sooooo sleepy i kept on going in and out of the bathroom just to catch sleep! then when i get back to typing, my head isn't working. there was a time when i almost started dreaming and when i woke up i've typed in a lot of gibberish already. i remember the word, 'shower'. wow, i wonder if i'll be able to type my dreams unconsciously when i get extremely sleepy while blogging. hahaha

you know what sucks? i was 93% done on a 64MB file i was downloading awhile ago then i got disconnected! and there's just no frakking way to resume broken downloads without getting it corrupted. i was downloading Andy McKee's album Art of Motion cos he's such an awesome fingerstyle guitarist. i'm in love with Rylynn! i get the same feeling with Yiruma's River Flows in You. nakakaiyak naman eh.

minsan ang sarap umiyak e no? T___T;
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@_@

AYOKO NAAAAAA!!! >:((((((((((((((((((((((
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ideal guy! :D

i found this in my private journal... dated august 2009

---------------------------------------------
What is your ideal guy?

Because you said ideal, I won’t hold back. I want a guy who has at least an above average IQ but is not a genius. I want smart kids with social lives! Wahahaha. Well, actually I just want someone whom I can talk to with sense especially about life hahaha. Physically, I want a good looking guy. Someone way taller than I am, but it doesn’t really matter cos I don’t always give justice to that certain preference. Someone who engages in at least one physical sport, except sumo wrestling. Someone who appreciates classical music and piano concertos. Hahaha Someone who plays an instrument other than the guitar cos it’s too generic. Piano? Violin? Sax? Hohoho  Someone mature. Someone who doesn’t nag whether I’ve eaten already, surely I’m responsible enough not to starve myself. Someone whom I can trust. Someone whom I can bring to Church every Sunday. A believer of tithing. Someone who accepts my short nails and my nailbiting habit. Someone who accepts my ugly feet and my small hands. Someone who criticizes my writing, my singing and my drawing. Someone honest. Someone who isn’t putting up with me just to earn my favor. Someone who tolerates my mood swings (I hardly have mood swings anyway). Someone whom I can talk to about weird stuff, about my weird dreams and my novel ideas. Someone who reads books. Someone who appreciates art. Someone who tolerates my extreme indulgence in colored pens and ballpens. Someone who understands how I spend with gadgets and art materials. Someone who appreciates my wardrobe. Someone who doesn’t care if I’ve worn the same pants for 2 or 3 consecutive days already. Someone who understands that I like expensive coffee. Someone who likes coffee. Someone whom I can go backpacking around the world with. Someone who eats vegetables and burong mustasa. Someone who accepts that I’m at my ugliest when I’ve just woken up in the morning.


Demanding! But really, I don’t buy the opposites attract thing, I want someone close to my kind. Actually, just someone whom I can talk to about anything is cool. 
----------------------------------------


and after 6 months, the specs still hold true.
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ready :)

ah, now i know why i'm afraid. because i don't know what it is. it's the fear of the unknown that keeps me from exploring further. and now, now that i finally know how it feels and what it means, i can finally say i'm ready! yehey! i'm ready to take risks! :) but for now i'll just keep on waiting. :)

this afternoon, i cried. again, for the 6th time, for the same reason. it sure feels liberating the more i get used to it, you know, crying it all out, looking like a complete waste in front of my cheeseburger... and my friend. so tomorrow, i promise not to cry again for the same reason. the more i think about it, the more i feel hopeless.

i feel fake acting normal when i'm burdened like this. what can i do? i've never encountered this before. >:\

don't ask why nga pala. cos i won't tell. hohoho

and so i'll wait. :)
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it's for the best

for the betterment of my burdened mind, i'll just forget about it. forget about everything and focus on the MIDTERMS. @_@ waaaah midterms! O____O;
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ARAAAAAY!!!!!

picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. mas maganda ko sa kanya. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon. picture lang yon.

haynako. stalk kasi ng stalk.
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ay

the pretend job interview turned out to be really stressful than expected. sir lloyd interviewed me.. the questions weren't hard but i was fidgeting like crazy. after the QnA portion he commented on the way i answered... the biggest comment i received was that i kept on switching tenses every now and then. past to future, present to future blah blah blah and that my thoughts were fragmented, it seemed like i was throwing five different answers at him at the same time

i liked him so much because he instantly knew what my probems were just by asking three questions (why our company? biggest weakness? the other one, i forgot!). 1) switching of tenses -- i get that a lot of times back when i was still writing fanfiction. i swear, i wanted to fix that but i didn't know where to start because i couldn't recognize it in the first place. help? 2) fragmented thoughts -- sir lloyd said i have to practice constructing a paragraph in my mind, and that i also have to unite my thoughts so there's cohesiveness in my ideas. that's the biggest reason why most of the time my entries are in bullets.

i wanted to fix those problems, promise! how how? >:|

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by the way, i slept for 14 hours straight last night! hahahaha

hey, i dreamt of being in love with this friend of mine, but i was helping him court another girl daw. then i was crying like crazy. i woke up with a heavy feeling in my heart and all i could ever think was, oh my God that's probably the most painful feeling in the world, then i wondered about him... why him? do i really feel that way  for him, after all? hindi ko alam. masyadong masakit yung pakiramdam. T___T;;

haha, and because i slept for 14 hours straight... i'll probably hit the gym the later. whew, at last!

thank you Lord because i just received my second paycheck yesterday, swelday! haha :P
it's all for you. >:)
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uhm hello! >:D

i feel so sleeeeepy but i still have to do something about 4thglan haaaaaay.

you know what, sometimes i think i talk about my crushes like i'm actually in love but i just won't admit it because i have standards. then again, they're made to be ruined eh diba. love kinda ruins every logical foundation you've built your beliefs in. but still, i'm not in love. wahaha scorpios have a tendency to get really obsessed and i'm not an exception. hahaha

anyway, ever since the play i kinda see him everywhere, with everyone... i know. which really made me think, am i the only one he's not acquainted with? ok fine, everyone knows him. parang ayoko ng ganon. hahaha

good news... see this?

i made this on a close deadline for a logo making contest erni prompted me about. that was hand-drawn and scanned but i also made a digital version of this one, but i don't know how to soften the edges so that's the better version already.

i won... i think? cos erni said he could give me the cash price already. which is a bit small but it's okay! i mean, yey! i'm making money out of something i'm genuinely passionate about! haha

that's really good news for me. i mean, 2 weeks, 2 artworks. both winners. i wish i was a top-rated artist so i could charge bigger with the works (as if!). but really, i've come to understand how it doesn't matter how it doesn't matter how you're being compensated as long as you're passionate and happy about your job.

yeah, but as much as possible you try to convert your passion into a currency para mas fulfilling diba? HAHAHA
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etpl

#1) lilibre mo ba ako? dami mo cash prize eh :D
oba >;P

LOL

Nothing came for me during the 5 months he was absent, that was sort of like a recovery period for me. No new crush, nothing at all, I just did my best in my subjects (which when translated into UP vocab would amount to mediocre) and luckily I was able to catch up with the regular batch. So that time, I tried joining an organization. There I met, Mr. Ideal Guy. He's the guy i've been talking about randomly in this blog... the one who wears glasses, has an undeniably high IQ, is an artist, the one who does well in his acads, and best of all... a Christian.

But then... has wasn't a majorcrush for me, he just struck me big time because all i ever wanted in a guy is in him. but oddly enough, he didn't give the sparks, he didn't make me nervous, his presence didn't stress my inner organs. he was simply... someone i'm extremely fascinated with. someone i enjoyed working with, especially when it comes to artistic stuff. his presence makes me feel light. maybe it's his freaking spirituality oozing out. haha ewan.

you know what, there's one memory of him i'll never forget...

one time i was making a business out of my artworks. i'm making custom laminated cards with people's name on it. i advertised it on multiply using a photo album entitled, 'help arianne rule the world!' where my sample artworks were displayed. when we met the next time, over the customary org handshake, he said "i will help you rule the world". those freakin words, i don't know, but they made me feel so light and happy. he'll help me rule the world? hey, i'm having my first minion for world domination! and we've sealed it with a handshake! LOL i felt like all the aliens rejoiced, there were fireworks in mars and every UFO were doing exhibitions in space.

it was the coolest and most heartwarming response i've ever had. yeah. >;P

because i thought he was weird, and i like weird people, i let him borrow my book called 'The Odd Brain', it's a little technical, but i thought it fits him hahaha, until now i haven't gotten the book from him yet, and i have no plans to... for now. i want the book back, yeah. but i dunno. hahaha

ok, as far as my stalking is concerned, he has the neatest handwriting a guy could ever have. he's a scorpio (yehey?) and we share the same province (like, one jeepney away). haha hahaha hahahahaha

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why am i writing this? onga pala it's feb! i like looking back at the days i'm so heavily heartstruck. memoriessss, yeheeeey.

by the way, i had a good good day. i didn't spend anything on pamasahe cos daddy drove me to school this morning, nilibre ako ni brian pa-FCM, and terai took care of the jeepney fare for me. then we ate at YOSHINOYA. yumyumyum. favorite resto ever! >:D

i remember when i was still in LB, everytime i go home i'll stop at sm megamall to eat dinner at yoshi! HAHAHAHAHA chicken teriyaki, miso soup, green tea, red gingerrrrr yuuuummmmmyyyy!!! >XD

okok goodnight! >:D
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cma

it was called instant attraction. he's all too attractive for his own good. deep set eyes, thick eyebrows, red lips, a pointed nose and ashen skin. and even though that might struck him as gay looking, i can guarantee he couldn't even pass as a metrosexual.

i was way lucky to find out he's on 5 of my classes, shares the same course and batch with me, and live on the same street outside the campus. yeah, that was me doing my investigative job (aka stalking). i also found out he's a virgo, which made things more astronomically romantic. lol

anyway, it couldn't be helped that we become friends, after all, we see each other everyday. ever since then, we start walking home together. i keep my silence as usual, because i'm the type of person who gets really tense inside when my crush is within 5 yards hahaha.

my admiration for him grew when he answered one of my very hard algebra homeworks. when i asked him about it, he immediately set his pen on my notebook and gave me the right answer in less than a minute. it's the best package i could ask for, looks and brains! i also learned  he got percentile ranks of 98 and 99 on math and science respectively on the UPCAT and graduated from a science highschool. at that time he's holding 2 scholarships. i couldn't imagine how intelligent he is. and he never boasts about it. also, he's not even aware that he looks so damn good and wouldn't make an effort on it.

and so our friendship grew, though it was hard on my part to be really myself cos you know how it goes in my freaking nervous system.

he's a gentleman too, which made me fall even more. one time when we were walking, he stopped and asked me if he was walking too fast. of course i said no, but he still slowed down. honestly, if i'm with a guy, i never liked walking behind, so i always try to keep pace. sometimes he would ask if we could jog together, but i would freakin decline, i frakking don't know why. i'm too shy i guess. so whenever he jogs, he'll leave his apartment keys to me and just get it back on his way home. i remember my favorite subject during that time was PE because the class is held at the farthest building from our dorm so it's going to be a long walk home with him ♥

one time i found him recruiting members for their sorrority, i asked him if i could join too but he said not now cos it's going to be extremely physical. whether he doesn't want me to join because i could get hurt or he thinks i'm too weak for a sorority, i never knew. since then, i never considered joining one.

the feeling i get when he's around is really remarkable, cos it's the first time i fell this hard for a guy. i thought he was a lifesaver, because falling for him meant I'M NOT A LESBIAN, which i thought i was after graduating from an all-girls school and crushing over a girl two years my senior...for two freakin years. it was a total relief having to find out that i'm straight, after all.

but you know, i didn't know what happened. the last few months of that semester turned me off. he gets absent frequently and doesn't show up in exams. i tried asking him why he's not attending classes anymore and he just said, "nakakatamad na eh." he's academic standing declined, and i became his source of information of what happened at class, though he's not really doing anything about it. he simply lost the motivation to study. i never knew why.

his attitude towards school was the turning point of my feelings for him. i want to get him back on the tracks because he's too smart to quit now but i never knew how. one time when he was absent in our philo class, i looked out at the window and saw him walking with a girl with long hair, a black fitted shirt and a mini skirt. for a 16 year old girl who never knew better, it was the most hurtful day of my first semester in college. i walked home absent minded, and when i came to the dorm, i plopped myself on the sofa and just stared at the ceiling for a good hour before some kind dormmate snapped me out of it.

the semester ended, and i passed all of my subjects. i wondered about him, but only received news after a few months. i learned that he got dismissed from the university and failed to re-appeal for the next semester so he'll be out of sight for the next 5 months. i thought of contacting him to offer help, any sort, but there was no response.

the 5++ months i wasn't able to see him helped me recover. i totally lost my feelings for him and tried to focus on my studies alone. when i first saw him after a long while, i became more sociable and more open to him, the feeling of awkwardness has died down. it's what usually happens when i fall out of 'like'.
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whew! come on!

this is probably the busiest week of this academic year... for me! HAHA i thought i could enjoy the foundation week sleeping all day cos there are no classes, so i only have to tend to my library duties for the whole week. pero mali pala hahaha cos the library has a LOT of activities planned as well.

i ended up having to do something everyday which drains me physically, but nevertheless i'm enjoying it naman. so far. i mean. onga pala, i won FIRST PLACE in the poster-making contest hosted by the library. LOL i couldn't believe it cos poster making meant being a master of OIL PASTEL and that's like my least favorite medium of all. my work was the lightest actually, no heavy smudging or whatever. i couldn't smudge and blend, that's why.  in fact, i used colored pens  and black marker for the most part hahaha who cares? also, that's probably the biggest artwork i've done individually, so far. that's one whole white cartolina in 2 hours dammit. >__<; anyway, i still won so that's cool! HAHAHA yehey for the cash prize!

ok. tomorrow has to be epic. i'll be at school the entire day. yes, until the concert. cos #1) awarding of dean's listers (yey!) #2) Creative Writing Seminar at the library (emcee) #3) Musical Poetry Contest at the library (emcee)

i didn't know i could emcee (honestly), until ma'm ellaine put me (and adrian) at the AoG (ambassador of goodwill) programme. the script is the key. that was kind of a good break, actually.

i don't believe people when they say i'm talented because i seriously don't think so. media is to be blamed, i grew up believing talented people are those who could sing, act and dance. otherwise, you're called artistic... which pretty much means the same thing but you know, the word 'talented' doesn't sound right when you're referring to an artist. yeah?  i dunno, really. i'm soooo sleepy. goood night. >:D

seeing juan miguel (another freaking codename for my majorcrush) doesn't scare me a lot anymore... i think so?! haha ewan. it's kind of fading... i'm not sure... i think it's too early. lol
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it's not okay

i though i was someone who's more optimistic than the rest, who sees the bright side of life in the shadows, and who thinks subjectively when it comes to people's personalities.

but no. this day reminded me how i am not who i thought i was. everyone deserves a fair chance at everything, an impartial judgment, and most of all, everyone deserves someone's friendship. whenever i meet people who are downright unlikeable, i try to veer off of their presence. i keep my mouth shut when they start saying annoying things. in short, i avoid being with them because i can't stand their attitude. but this is unfair, a good friend of mine indirectly showed me how my ways are wrong. how, i'm being selfish by avoiding these kind of people. how i'm being selective of my company. didn't God say, love one another? one another. it's a collective term referring to everyone we know.

the problem is, whenever we meet people who badly need to change something in their personality, instead of guiding them along the path to transformation, we leave them. we tolerate them. that's what indifferent friends do. that's what fake friends do. they're too afraid to try to change their friend, probably because of the fear of losing him in the process, or the fear of being taken the wrong way.

this day, i was heavily reminded of the fact (and i insist on it being one) that EVERYONE HAS A GOOD SIDE. it's just that sometimes, one side is bigger than the rest so we think we're facing a wall and forget about exploring the entire dimension.

that should be my mantra when i meet uncool people. everyone has a good side. everyone has a good side. everrryyyyone. yes, Lord, thank you.

i don't know what about this day exhausted me to hell, but when i came home, i came to daddy at the basement to say hello and went directly to the office bedroom. i slept for 3 hours, good thing dad woke me up or i'll be on REM stage the entire night and forget about the script i'm suppose to pass tomorrow.

good news: I WON in the poster making contest hosted by the college library (where i work, LOL). they just didn't tell me which place (1st, 2nd, or 3rd) but i couldn't care less. i care more about the cash price! :D haha will know tomorrow.

most depressing news of the day? I LOST MY BLACK PEN. it's not just a black pen, it's 'the' black pen from the set of staedtler colored felt tip pens i have! haaaaay.

anyway. right, i have a script to make. whew. :)

thank you talaga Lord, sobra!
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whew!

#1: magkano ang binigay na paycheck ni ate yet sayo? >:))
- secret! enough for 3 days worth of labor. ;P

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will make kwento tomorrow. i'm soooo frakking tired! but i'm glad it's through! thank God it's finally overrrrr!!! whew! :P

tomorrow, poster making contest with jec! HAHA thursday... i dunno... friday, i think i'll be hosting another event. a minor one, this time. so sana. okay. hahaha

haha thank you Lord, because you helped adrian and i through the entire program! wahahaha :P
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haaaay

tired! but everything's pretty fine! :P when i came to school this morning i was bombarded with a lot of things to do! we had to set up the stage at the library and escort the gradeschool students in their book parade. immediately after that, we had to prepare for 'deal or no deal' naman. i had no time for lunch tuloy haha. what drained me was walking and standing on high heels. yun lang naman. other than that. oks naman. :P then, adrian and i were finally given the script for the event we will host tomorrow. i dunno. i hope everything's gonna be fine tomorrow. :D Lord ha! :P


wait. i just received my first ever paycheck! HAHA :P thank you, thank you! :P
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hangover

seriously, last night was the drunkest i've ever been in my entire life. and i was aware i have to wake up early in the morning to attend the motorcade.

grabe. last night was super fun! we stayed at ka's apartment at sm mezza... ate dinner, played cards, got wild and drunk, all to the beat of the endless techno music playing at the radio (define endless! literal! the music won't stop e haha). haha the building is new so ka doesn't have any neighbors yet haha so basically, we took on the entire place laughing like crazy! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KA! :D :D

i alarmed at 530am and woke up with a terrible headache. one of my classmates said it's bad to take a shower when you're still having a hangover so i left the place without taking a bath. it was a major creeper having to walk the empty hallway... the doors are still covered in plastic cos the place is new, tapos the elevator is the creepiest thing! it's also new, so the walls are still kinda filled with adhesive tapes yun basta... tapos punit punit na emf! horror movie talaga ang dating. whew. katakot much!

and you know what, alam kong may tama pa ko that morning, cos i can't freaking walk straight. whenever i put my head down to look at the floor, umiikot ang mundo ko. it took me a lot of effort to cross the overpass and buy hot chocolate from jollibee. haaay grabe.

anyway. fast forward to the motorcade...
wala... di ko tinapos. nasuka ba naman ako sa loob?! buti na lang hindi ko (yata) nasukahan yung kotse. nakakahiya. HAHAHA di ko kinaya eh. 15 yata kami sa kotse omg lang diba?! HAHA

whew.
k, alis na ko. bbye! :D
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jitters!

hala!
deal or no deal, amazing race, ambassador/ambassadress of goodwill, mandatory poster making contest, motorcade.

whew.
busy-busyan ulit.

tomorrow, KA's new apartment. yehezz naman... ano to inuman ulit?! HAHA i'm trying to control my beer belly pa naman... pero go sige! :P aaaaand, wait... magmamaganda ako sa foundation week. walang aangal. girl ako! :P

yehey! GALAWIDE AKO THIS WEEKEND!!
WAHAHAHA!!!
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RIP prof. ruperta r. asuncion :(

i just heard news that prof ruperta asuncion passed away last february 3, 2009 (11am) due to stage 4 cancer.

i could still remember how everyone regarded her as a terror teacher. i was a freshman when she became my english professor at uplb and it's in her class that i realized how stressful college could be. as a freshman, she was a complete shocker to me. at that time she was the most demanding teacher i've ever met (now she's only next to sir pol mojica haha). she always reminds us not to get into relationships early, not to get pregnant while in college and to avoid guys, she would ask each one of us if we have boyfriends/girlfriends already and comment on it hahaha. plus, she would flunk a quiz/seatwork/hw written on a TORN yellow pad. she wants them CUT, with scissors. she hates seeing those paper fibers hanging on the sides of the paper. everything we pass to her has to be strictly formatted and smokin clean. hahaha it's also in her class that i get to visit the main library often. hey, did you know that the person at the front door of the libary who counts the students coming in and checks our bags is called a sentinel? yeah, i know sentinel... but it's pretty much a guard, in lay man's terms. sorry, labo.

despite being quite a monster in class, she's really a warm hearted, fun and kind person outside class hours, almost like a mother with the way she comments on our projects. i still feel sad about this news. mam asuncion, God bless you, you are a great teacher. :'(  LOL it's quite a shame that i never knew she was an author until NOW, when i did some research.

so yeah, RIP. i know you're doing good up there.  :D
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ok

the rizal book i'm reading is SOOOOOO biased. i mean, come on! rizal isn't even good looking, why are so many girls falling for him? and it's written like he's some kind of a rich handsome diplomat. ay grabe, ang biased eh! honestly ah, i think they're overstating it.

the book is quoting passages from rizal's diary, which means the author has a copy of it... and if that's the only thing he's basing rizal's psychological profile from (aside from history), then daaaamn, i couldn't imagine how glorious his profile would be. i mean, how does the author know gertrude beckett is really in love with rizal? o-sei-san? adelina boustead? did they get these girls' sides?


yeah right, it's written in his diary! that's rizal's fucking diary, it's HIGHLY possible that he's under the illusion that these girls are freaking in love with him, and he's writing it on every page of his journal. i'm not against rizal or anything... i respect him, yeah, but the book! i was hoping i'd get a better picture of his life but all i see is how he's such a great patriot, always thinking of his fellowmen, indulging in euro-trips in search for philippine history. ok. it's a travel journal as far as i can tell.

aside from the irritating partiality the book presented, the structure is overkill. he's a historian at first then he jumps into being an opinion columnist. i'm confused, it's switching from objective to subjective and it's freaking disturbing.

rizal: life, works and ideals == is not worth 285. :P

rizal, i want to know you. i'm just being too prejudiced. sorry.

----

// i saw my crush! i frakkkkking couldn't speak. again. why oh why? =___=;
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hahahala!

so, everyone agrees with me that majorcrush is quite good looking. it's cool that i don't have to defend my taste for once (cos usually i'm the only one who sees the good-looking side of my crushes wahaha) but it's uncool that people are liking him because of his good loooks.... err that's like... competition! oh nooooo. yeah right, like i'm competing for his attention or something bwahahaha. it's enough that i'm seeing him quite a lot these days and that we have a couple of common friends. i'm ok with that, realllllyyyy. i can't possibly get to be friends with him the normal way, not when my hormones are hyperventilating when he's within 5 meters lol. i probably need uhm, 2 months? hahaha. ewan. nakakainis. haha

i can't believe i don't have anything due tomorrow. which means i can watch avatar and sherlock holmes then sleep! bwahahaha

trial 2! jec said i just did a vector hahaha, i never knew! :P this is quite ugly... that's supposed to be me... photo reference present and uhm yeah, that's one of my doodles on the background. i don't know what else to do. i need inspiration haha :P i wanna practice the smudge and burn tools more so i could make decent blendings. hehehehehehe


PS: done stalking. found out his full name, at last. ano ba yan. nakakahiya talaga ako! anyway... full name (pati middle name), highschool (pati section)... okay naman. hahaha

sige good night! :P
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uhh, good morning?

#1) how to get

get what? the question box? or the quantum pendant (based on your referral link)?
assuming that was a complete question you submitted there...
quantum pendant: i dunno where to buy it, we just met an agent who's selling it. try searching for Quantum Science. hehe
question box: go here... http://www.response-o-matic.com/

:D

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i slept for around 2 hours after coming home from school! >:D bwahahaha!

it's feb! i did mention it's going to be all about 'love' (or crushes, mostly) in this blog! let me start by featuring (yet again, but for the first time in this blog) my artwork entitled My Heart Says it All with a poem my friend plaridel created just for it >:D


my heart says it all by ~melodia04 on deviantART

my heart says it all
and i draw it true
with a steady hand
to guide me through

in black and white
our story emerges
i don't need rainbows
to color the senses

my heart says it all
i want the world to see
love is what we live for
you and me, eternally


 yah! it's the first time someone gave me poem haha thank you plaridel! :D

by the way, i already told chamel who my crush is, HAHA after all the hesitation! LOL i drew him on a yellow (pink, actually) pad, even. nakakainis, he's everywhere! yaaaah, like usual! eto nanaman ako! majorcrush aleeerrrrrtttt!

my crush! my crush! lalalalalaaaaa.... haaaaaaay ♥
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